Curse of the Crystal Coconut

Alestorm - Curse of the Crystal Coconut
Critic Score
Based on 6 reviews
2020 Ratings: #144 / 857
User Score
Based on 70 ratings
2020 Ratings: #601
Liked by 11 people
May 29, 2020 / Release Date
LP / Format
Napalm / Label
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Metal Injection
Love them or loathe them, Alestorm are here to stay. “Curse of the Crystal Cocunut” is another killer addition to a packed roster and is dying to be played lived.
Angry Metal Guy

Curse of the Crystal Coconut is a tremendous record. Lasse Lammert outdid himself in production, managing to capture coherently, cleanly, and appealingly not just Alestorm and their musical personalities but live hurdy gurdy, violin, trumpet, and trombone.

Distorted Sound

The lyrics may be silly and some of the songs are a bit out there, but that is what Alestorm are about – having fun and enjoying the music.

More than a decade into their existence, Alestorm proves that there are still plenty of waters and islands worth exploring and singing about with "Curse of the Crystal Coconut", and there are likely more bountiful journeys to come should they continue to set sail.
It's incredible that Alestorm haven't run out of pirate riffs and lyrics about drinking, pillaging and sailing the seas, but this record is packed with all those and even more.
Metal Hammer

Produced with the utmost attention to detail and brimming with catchy songs, Curse Of The Crystal Coconut is another gem in the Scots’ steadily improving repertoire of jolly, foul-mouthed metal shanties that go far beyond the confines of gimmickry.


Idk why I like this. Its stupid, it's cringy at times, it's really really cheesy and the songs tend to sound a bit too samey.... but god damn is it a fun album, take notes godsmack, this is how you make a cheesy metal album. I can't take this shit seriously, can anybody take this seriously? Ubisoft better get these guys in an ad for when they eventually remaster AC 4


I am mildly upset that Alestorm have made an unironically solid album in 2020



What's wrong with having fun with Alestorm?? All I want in this quarantine is to be drunk in a choir with my friends on every chorus of their discography.

And I'm not a virgin for that! I HAVE SEX, OK? I SWEAR! STOP! I AM NOT A VIRGIN! STOP!

Fav Tracks: Treasure Chest Party Quest, Chomp Chomp, Zombies Ate My Pirate Ship
Least Fav: Pirate Metal Drinking Crew

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Track List

  1. Treasure Chest Party Quest
  2. Fannybaws
  3. Chomp Chomp
  4. Tortuga
  5. Zombies Ate My Pirate Ship
  6. Call of the Waves
  7. Pirate's Scorn
  8. Shit Boat (No Fans)
  9. Pirate Metal Drinking Crew
  10. Wooden Leg, Pt. 2 (The Woodening)
  11. Henry Martin
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Added on: January 8, 2020