Curse of the Crystal Coconut

Alestorm - Curse of the Crystal Coconut
Critic Score
Based on 3 reviews
User Score
Based on 39 ratings
2020 Ratings: #377
Liked by 2 people
May 29, 2020 / Release Date
LP / Format
Napalm / Label
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Metal Injection
Love them or loathe them, Alestorm are here to stay. “Curse of the Crystal Cocunut” is another killer addition to a packed roster and is dying to be played lived.
It's incredible that Alestorm haven't run out of pirate riffs and lyrics about drinking, pillaging and sailing the seas, but this record is packed with all those and even more.
Metal Hammer

Produced with the utmost attention to detail and brimming with catchy songs, Curse Of The Crystal Coconut is another gem in the Scots’ steadily improving repertoire of jolly, foul-mouthed metal shanties that go far beyond the confines of gimmickry.

I am mildly upset that Alestorm have made an unironically solid album in 2020
"Your pirate ship can eat a bag of dicks." - Alestorm on "Shit Boat (No Fans)" - 2020

Yeah, it's an Alestorm album alright. A bunch of dumb, fun Pirate metal bangers. Alestorm are a one-trick pony but their one trick is very fun and entertaining. It's not complicated or deep. I mean it is an Alestorm album we are talking with. Outside of songs like "Tortuga" and "Henry Martin", I really enjoyed this album. I even appreciate the parts were Alestorm try ... read more
Idk why I like this. Its stupid, it's cringy at times, it's really really cheesy and the songs tend to sound a bit too samey.... but god damn is it a fun album, take notes godsmack, this is how you make a cheesy metal album. I can't take this shit seriously, can anybody take this seriously? Ubisoft better get these guys in an ad for when they eventually remaster AC 4
It's crazy how Alestorm has not gotten old yet, despite the gimmicky pirate metal sound that they present. This album has really good hooks and some fun tracks. Sure, there's Tortuga and some rather mediocre tracks, but this album is still a fun listen and a reminder that these guys haven't run out of ideas. There are hints of Nintendcore, Thrash, Chiptune, and Trap that mostly work with the Alestorm style, except for Trap but it seems like this band is evolving and trying out new styles. So ... read more
Alestorm is still the gold standard for Pirate Metal, this time with a hint of Thrash.
Best tracks: TCPQ, Fannybaws, Chomp Chomp,
Worst Tracks: Tortuga,
Note: the rating doesn't include the 16th century versions as that's part of the deluxe edition.
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anztec, The Blue South101
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Track List

  1. Treasure Chest Party Quest
  2. Fannybaws
  3. Chomp Chomp
  4. Tortuga
  5. Zombies Ate My Pirate Ship
  6. Call of the Waves
  7. Pirate's Scorn
  8. Shit Boat (No Fans)
  9. Pirate Metal Drinking Crew
  10. Wooden Leg, Pt. 2 (The Woodening)
  11. Henry Martin
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Added on: January 8, 2020