The Cool Greenhouse

The Cool Greenhouse - The Cool Greenhouse
Critic Score
Based on 5 reviews
2020 Ratings: #65 / 691
User Score
Based on 103 ratings
2020 Ratings: #544
Liked by 2 people
May 29, 2020 / Release Date
LP / Format
Melodic / Label
Post-Punk / Genres
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In an epic battle of pop versus indie, with their weapon, the power of the spoken word, The Cool Greenhouse could certainly be part of the driving force extending the frontiers of modern rock.

The Line of Best Fit

Through a debut cluttered with lyrical detail, and an array of instrumentation of violins, melodicas and harmoniums at their most simplistic, The Cool Greenhouse are now finding their own path in the post-punk genre - and it’s one that promises to be fantastical.

Loud and Quiet

Whilst far from a reinvention of the wheel, the band occupy a niche in the ever-saturated allegorical post-punk market that is entirely their own.


Brilliantly evocative, each track could probably be made into its own black comedy sitcom; consequently, the sparse backing seems almost an afterthought, but as a framework for the excellent pictures being painted within, it mostly works.

The Cool Greenhouse provide a most repetitious album to match the mundanity of life

There's a clear line of influence that can be drawn from Patti Smith almost directly to The Cool Greenhouse, that can be found in the witty verbosity and the simple chord structures, in fact most of the songs are just one chord repeated for up to 5 1/2 minutes.

"One chord is fine. Two chords are pushing it. Three chords and you're into jazz." - Lou Reed

This album is not for everyone, the guitars' ... read more
This is by far the most delicious taste of fresh straight up post-punk I've heard in a long time. It rarely veers in new directions, opting instead for repetition so persistent it could drive you mad; The Cool Greenhouse taking a simple guitar riff and forcing it on the listener for five minutes straight as sonic whirling, organs, and percussion fill the space in between.

The lyrics are also absolutely fascinating. Tom Greenhouse, the man providing the spoken-word vocalization can't seem to ... read more
Is it cool to play The Fall?

On this evidence, yes, it's quite cool - although the vocals really sound like a private school educated chap trying his utmost best to channel Mark E. Smith and Hugh Cornwell from The Stranglers.

If that doesn't paint a picture for you then:

- imagine The Wombats if they were good.
If you enjoy simple mundane lyrics and extremely repetitive rhythms, you are going to love this one.

For some reason reminds me of early Protomartyr, Parquet Courts and even some Le Tigre stuff, but this one is way more reverberant. Not innovative at all, but very interesting if you are in the correct mood.
Why does the vocalist sounds like a British version of Christopher Walken?
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Contributions By
anztec, dylanleg, domvic
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Track List

  1. The Sticks
  2. Cardboard Man
  3. Gum
  4. Life Advice
  5. Dirty Glasses
  6. Smile, Love!
  7. Trojan Horse
  8. 4Chan
  9. Prospects
  10. Outlines
  11. The Subletters, Pt. 2 (feat. The Shifters)
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Added on: May 24, 2020