Stella Donnelly - Beware of the Dogs
Mar 11, 2019
I'm disappointed with every single one of you. This album receiving the "Must Hear" attention that it is just goes to show that music publications and critics alike don't know a single thing about music, and way too many of you normie losers are just eating it right up.

There are quite literally just about zero redeeming aspects of this album. The tone, songwriting, vocal inflection, and overall aesthetic of this album is not only so monotone and drab consistently throughout this thing, but there is absolutely nothing this album does that you couldn't get from any old indie record EVER. Donnelly's singing is so unmemorable and ineffectual with no catchy rhythms that make any part of any song stick in your head, with the song Die being the absolute only exception on the album, but even this song has a bit of awkward songwriting choices made that make it difficult for the listener to immediately grasp a chorus and be able to sing along immediately.

The nicest thing I can say about this album is that I don't think Donnelly was aiming to make a really boring, completely unoriginal, and entirely forgettable album using old and tired tones and songwriting techniques. I think that this is the best result possible given what Donnelly has to offer. Every single choice made on this album was a very bad one, such as the length of the song Watching Telly. After about a minute, you feel like you've already understood what's going on, and you don't need any more of it, but this song pushes to be nearly 5 minutes. What in the hell?

I really only like the song Die, which isn't absolutely amazing, but it is at least tolerable. A lot of the lyrics on this album are extremely generic eye-roll inducing astrology girl bullshit. Lyrics like "Fuck off" and "I used my vibrator and thought of you" and the stupid line about the breaking plates...


It's just all so tiresome.

Death to music critics. Death to indie. Death to unoriginal bullshit.

best: Die
worst: Old Man, Mosquito, Season's Greetings, Allergies, Tricks, Boys Will Be Boys, Lunch, Bistro, Watching Telly
1 Comment
Mar 16, 2019
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