Craigold

Oh, I wasn't lying either. This account is dedicated to sex now. I will now list every celebrity off the top of my head that I will have sex with: Kanye West, J.K Rowling, Michael Phelps, Buddha, Jesus, Solid Snake, Jack Black, Jack White, Jerry Seinfeld, James Cordon, DJ Khaled, Eminem, KRS One, Yasiin Bey, John Lennon, Michael Jackson, Lou Reed, Ice Cube, Cakenator, Tupac Shakur, Christopher Wallace, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Michael Bay, Jay Leno, Hedwig the fucking owl, my neighbor Todd, ... read more

Sorry guys, no more good Craigold reviews 🤷‍♂️ You all had your chance to laugh funny haha, but I think I'm just gonna settle for the lowest common denominator of comedy, and just write sex reviews. You all seem to love those, so I'm willing to pour out all of my dignity, and just write sex. More sex, everybody! Come get it here! Free sex! Remember the good old Craigold? The guy who would write funny story reviews consistently? I for sure don't. The only Craigold I remember is the ... read more

Hey guys if you don't start liking my reviews I'll tell the teacher on you 🥺🥺🥺 seriously though 😶 I will tell the teacher 😈😈 Alright slut bag, I think it's about time you start talking or some shit or I'll whoop your ass back into the 17th century; have fun with the black plague, weed gerbil. Once more it is time for me to get mad at a brick wall 🧱 Roger Waters better prepare his saggy old man tits, because the Kool-Aid man is back again, and is ready to eat ass. Y'know ... read more

mommy Sia tied my nuts to a ceiling fan and made fun of me for being autistic. I pray to my cooking mama that Sia wasn't the one who made those eggs, because they raw as fuck. Shit, the chicken's frolloking (idk I can't spel i'm dislecksick too) on the fucking plate. Mommy Sia, why would you make me suffer? Why put me through the pain of crashing into the couch with my ballsack burst all over the living room? You bitch, you could've reused that plate you dung cobbler. BUT NO, YOU PUT FUCKING ... read more