I've always wanted bull horns on the front of my Cadillac Eldorado, but I can't seem to figure it out. I asked my 27 year old neighbor, Kevin Parkers, If I could take the horns from his 4H blue ribbon Jersey bull. The prick had the balls to say I was bothering him just because I knocked on his door at 3:34am. I mean, who isn't awake at 3:34am? The local sheriff REALLY pissed me off. I finally got a bull's head, but he said carrying dead livestock on the hood of my Cadillac Eldorado, "Wasn't legal" what a load of shit, I just wanted to keep the head there until the flesh fell off. Fucker took it in some red plastic bag. My butcher, 42 year old Greg Harris, refuses to give me any either, saying its "not sanitary" and it's "morally wrong" but I don't see anything about it in the bible. My girlfriend's sexy 19 year old sister, Connie Thomas, said she could get me a pair from her boyfriend. But would a 39 year old truck driver (Mason Friedman) have a pair of bull horns? I'm just really worried that I won't be able to complete my mission. What do you guys think? Maybe I'm just over-reacting, but my Cadillac Eldorado really looks incomplete without a pair of bull horns.