A Love Supreme

Trash, some people say, is what makes the world go 'round, and I'm the guy that makes the trash go 'round. Driving around in my big truck and collecting garbage is my dream job, and I'm thankful for every day that I get to do it. I don't only collect trash though, I also scoop up roadkill. To be completely honest, what I'm doing is a public service, and people should be thanking me on the daily, but alas, society as a whole finds my presence vomit-inducing. Your vacuum cleaner picks up a lot of tasty treats, and you're expecting me to NOT eat them? And so what if I bury the flattened skunk in my back yard? He deserved a better home than the railroad tracks, you know this. You call me raccoon man, when you all know damn well that the real raccoons would be taking your trash at NIGHT. Me? I take your trash when the sun is out. Sure, this might not be a job, or a hobby, but it sure as hell is a lifestyle. Does it hurt you that I have a pile of used condoms under my couch? Are you really that mad that I'm resourceful enough to eat AROUND the moldy part of the bread? Really, this just goes to show that garbage men, even of the unemployed variety, are the most oppressed minority in America.