Sleaford Mods - Spare Ribs
*Only the film Cuties had a worse critic-user opinion disparity.*

There are thousands of Garageband-loop-based songs like those on Spare Ribs recorded with laptop mics on Soundcloud. Yet for some reason publications like Gigwise and NME had to make the album sound like a classic record as much as possible. Actually, no, they didn't try. "Stunning production," "scabrous lyrics" and "f--king faultless"? Get out of here, this nonsense is goodless. Sleaford Mods (or ... read more

Owl City - Cinematic
This is the ultimate example of a "Complete's Hack Guide to Musicmaking" in album form... Lyrically, you feel like you're listening to stock music version of types of songs done by millions of others... the platitude-ish inspiration songs, the singer-songwriter story songs, lyrical themes you'd often find in white-man-with-acoustic-guitar songs, you name it.... I don't want to know what a stock version of Death Grips would be like from Adam.

The instrumentals are also so static. ... read more

Simple Plan - Taking One For The Team
This album is what happens when a forty-year-old with nothing better to do tries to be like 5 Seconds of Summer and Big Time Rush only using Garageband and auto-tune. The result is as horrible as you'd expect.
Joan of Arc - He's Got the Whole This Land Is Your Land in His Hands
I'll admit, "Smooshed That Cocoon" and "This Must Be The Placenta" didn't give a lot of good first impressions; they're basically the audio equivalent of the worst, annoying kind of a mildly autistic child (I'm a high-functioning autistic, so don't @ me). But the later tracks really wowed me in terms of the tone mixture; songs like "Grange Hex Stream," "Cha Cha Cha Chakra," and "Two-Toothed Troll" are moody, seemingly pieces that always show ... read more
Cradle of Filth - Hammer of the Witches
#666 on the 2015 ratings as of writing. So thus I'm giving this album a 66 out of 100.

Kidding. I added other critic scores

Average music for a genre that involves average twenty, thirty, and fourty-something people screaming or breathing heavily into a microhpone. I like it
Yes - Fly From Here
The titular "Fly from Here" composition is pretty rad. Other tracks are regular 2010s prog. Not much else to say
Train - California 37
Going on a downward spiral, my hate for this album went viral. This is not your average adult contemporary, people.
Tycho - Awake
#666 on the 2014 ratings as of writing:

EDIT: I added a Crack Magazine review

Stalaggh - Projekt Misanthropia
The album cover looks like an incomplete Halloween film poster
Bruce Springsteen - Wrecking Ball
I came in like a....
Deap Vally - Sistrionix
#666 on the 2013 ranking as of writing this

EDIT: I added a couple more critic scores

Midlake - Antiphon
#666 on the 2013 rating as of writing this

EDIT: I just added an Arts Desk review

Beyoncé - The Lion King: The Gift
Is The Lion King a furry movie?
John Grant - Love Is Magic
CHVRCHΞS - Love is Dead
Another bland pop record. Yaaaaaaaaaasaaaaaaaayyyyy
坂本龍一 [Ryuichi Sakamoto] - async
-Cal Chuchesta, 2012
Prophets of Rage - Prophets of Rage
Gotta be honest, kind of enjoyed the production, but the album is corny as fuck
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Recent Review Comments
On EightBitGecko's review of Sleaford Mods - Spare Ribs
"If even listeners of stupid pop music hate an album, you know you're in for trouble"
On WhiteMario's review of Jlin - Black Origami
"Wish the spelling was better, but that's.... actually not a bad point. The album was pretty good, it had its fun moments, but it is kind of overrated."
On hycis's review of Katy Perry - Witness
""There are no high points, there is nothing incredible." Then you score should probably be far under from a 50 then"
On tha138's review of The Buggles - Adventures in Modern Recording
"Actually, I wouldn't be sarcastic saying that. I fucking love this album, so progressive compositions and cool cheesy electronic Fairlight sounds would be a great thing to die for"

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