Sleaford Mods - Spare Ribs
10
*Only the film Cuties had a worse critic-user opinion disparity.*

There are thousands of Garageband-loop-based songs like those on Spare Ribs recorded with laptop mics on Soundcloud. Yet for some reason publications like Gigwise and NME had to make the album sound like a classic record as much as possible. Actually, no, they didn't try. "Stunning production," "scabrous lyrics" and "f--king faultless"? Get out of here, this nonsense is goodless. Sleaford Mods (or ... read more

Owl City - Cinematic
30
This is the ultimate example of a "Complete's Hack Guide to Musicmaking" in album form... Lyrically, you feel like you're listening to stock music version of types of songs done by millions of others... the platitude-ish inspiration songs, the singer-songwriter story songs, lyrical themes you'd often find in white-man-with-acoustic-guitar songs, you name it.... I don't want to know what a stock version of Death Grips would be like from Adam.

The instrumentals are also so static. ... read more

Simple Plan - Taking One For The Team
0
This album is what happens when a forty-year-old with nothing better to do tries to be like 5 Seconds of Summer and Big Time Rush only using Garageband and auto-tune. The result is as horrible as you'd expect.
Joan of Arc - He's Got the Whole This Land Is Your Land in His Hands
75
I'll admit, "Smooshed That Cocoon" and "This Must Be The Placenta" didn't give a lot of good first impressions; they're basically the audio equivalent of the worst, annoying kind of a mildly autistic child (I'm a high-functioning autistic, so don't @ me). But the later tracks really wowed me in terms of the tone mixture; songs like "Grange Hex Stream," "Cha Cha Cha Chakra," and "Two-Toothed Troll" are moody, seemingly pieces that always show ... read more
Cradle of Filth - Hammer of the Witches
66
#666 on the 2015 ratings as of writing. So thus I'm giving this album a 66 out of 100.

Kidding. I added other critic scores

60
Average music for a genre that involves average twenty, thirty, and fourty-something people screaming or breathing heavily into a microhpone. I like it
Yes - Fly From Here
60
The titular "Fly from Here" composition is pretty rad. Other tracks are regular 2010s prog. Not much else to say
Train - California 37
10
Going on a downward spiral, my hate for this album went viral. This is not your average adult contemporary, people.
Tycho - Awake
NR
#666 on the 2014 ratings as of writing:

EDIT: I added a Crack Magazine review

Stalaggh - Projekt Misanthropia
NR
The album cover looks like an incomplete Halloween film poster
Bruce Springsteen - Wrecking Ball
NR
I came in like a....
Deap Vally - Sistrionix
NR
#666 on the 2013 ranking as of writing this

EDIT: I added a couple more critic scores

Midlake - Antiphon
NR
#666 on the 2013 rating as of writing this

EDIT: I just added an Arts Desk review

Beyoncé - The Lion King: The Gift
70
Is The Lion King a furry movie?
John Grant - Love Is Magic
NR
OH! GOD! NOT THE BEES!
CHVRCHΞS - Love is Dead
40
Another bland pop record. Yaaaaaaaaaasaaaaaaaayyyyy
坂本龍一 [Ryuichi Sakamoto] - async
90
SAACH BYUUUTIFUL MUSIC
-Cal Chuchesta, 2012
XXXTENTACION - ?
100
????????????????????????????
Prophets of Rage - Prophets of Rage
70
Gotta be honest, kind of enjoyed the production, but the album is corny as fuck
Create an account to rate and review albums.
Recent Review Comments
On EightBitGecko's review of Sleaford Mods - Spare Ribs
"If even listeners of stupid pop music hate an album, you know you're in for trouble"
On WhiteMario's review of Jlin - Black Origami
"Wish the spelling was better, but that's.... actually not a bad point. The album was pretty good, it had its fun moments, but it is kind of overrated."
On hycis's review of Katy Perry - Witness
""There are no high points, there is nothing incredible." Then you score should probably be far under from a 50 then"
On tha138's review of The Buggles - Adventures in Modern Recording
"Actually, I wouldn't be sarcastic saying that. I fucking love this album, so progressive compositions and cool cheesy electronic Fairlight sounds would be a great thing to die for"
Advertisement

October Playlist