Kid Cudi - Erase Me
Jan 31, 2020
100
There was a regular user on this site long ago (about 2015) named @snarekickblues (formerly AustinCrane235, that's the name I remember) who was among the top 5 users when I started checking this place out. He had relatively similar taste to mine and wrote reviews that I enjoyed. Somewhere down the line he stopped posting then came back whenever he changed usernames. Around that time he just started giving 100 ratings to tens of albums at a time. I was flabbergasted; how could a person who obviously spent so much time listening to and critiquing music just throw his opinions out the window? Albums went from [insert lower score] to a perfect hunnid like that. All these years of rating flushed away. His explanation was simple: "This website almost made me forget what it was like to enjoy music tbh" and just like that, he was gone. Hes posted here and there since then, almost all perfect scores.
I've reached the exact point that I like to think Austin reached: Why am I putting arbitrary scores next to music that I love? Why am I purposefully seeking out bad music that I know I will give a low score and write a meme filled shitpost review about? What difference is there between a 97 and a 95? Next to nothing. Lots of the albums I have given ratings to I really really enjoyed, but tiny details that the artists might not have even put any thought into have kept said album at a 7 instead of 8, a 4.5 instead of a 5, whatever. Going into an album with a fine-toothed comb looking for things I don't like, things I think could have been better, or things that I just feel like talking about, is not a productive or healthy way of consuming music. I found these habits creep into other parts of my life, like when watching movies, TV, and even things that my friends made or worked on. Numbers are what make the world go 'round. But when it comes to music, something so personal, so artistic, so subjective, I think numbers are the last thing you need to bring into the discussion. Only God can judge, and I am mortal.
So what does all of this mean? Am I leaving AOTY? No. Is this just another trolly shitpost that I use to boost my ego and fish for likes? No. I probably listened to ~35 or so new albums in 2019. There were years that I was in the hundreds, at the top of my game. I've been listening to either nothing, or a podcast most of the time. I have been very lost for the past 18 months or so, and I am finally getting out of the hole I dug myself into. I want to write more I want to listen to music more, I want to just enjoy things like I used to. While I try to speak things into existence, speech is never enough. Living in "the real world" as a working adult now, unlike when I wrote years ago, takes away the vast majority of free time I have, which is why I really savor it now. AOTY is a very special place that I take a piss on all the time, But this website means a lot to me. Thanks, everyone.

RIP Kobe, Free Palestine, and Jeffery Epstein absolutely did not kill himself. The world is a terrible, beautiful place, but little enclaves like AOTY are what make all of the bullshit worth going through.
21 Comments
Jan 31, 2020
Tbh I've thought about what you said in the second paragraph quite a lot before

It's more fun for me to appreciate and enjoy music than to actively find things I know I'll criticise
Feb 1, 2020
Yes I had this moment in late 2019. I realized that I had destroyed the way I listened to music. and my posting style has dramatically shifted since then.
Feb 1, 2020
Oh yeah I remember him ! Well I will say that even if I don't experience this with music (I just more or less achieve a peak in the genre I appreciate), I understand your point. I don't think that adult life change everything, just the perspectives and the top priorities change and so your perception of your passion. They become less needed and you just lose interest. But for passions that are deeply loved, it just pops up time to time. So I take the things as they come. This function for me with music. I listen few artists for weeks then completely shift.
Feb 1, 2020
Once I shifted the focus back to 'finding good music' instead of 'listening to every album i can find and rating it precisely', I found that I enjoyed music a lot more. Hope all is going well <3
Feb 2, 2020
I've been thinking the same too honestly…listening to music only to rate made me care less and less about music for awhile

Honestly I only still rate so people know what to recommend me and to see what I dislike and like…
Feb 2, 2020
One of the major reasons I basically quit interpreting music. Would much rather make it and connect to music lovers that way. Furthermore, my opinions are changing at a million miles an hour. I can't keep up with myself. Maybe someday when I am 40 something and I emotionally matured I can give my full and complete opinion on all the music I've heard, but for right now I just got to live in the moment.
Feb 3, 2020
This review fucked me up, wtf i'm doing, i've really listened to nick cannon album just for give it a 10, and i haven't even disliked it so much. Fuck this shit i should focus on my own music.
Feb 5, 2020
I legit thought this was an in-depth explanation as to why you thought this song was great, but DAMN.
Feb 5, 2020
Now pitchfork will never hire you
Feb 5, 2020
I never gave much thought to @snarekickblues change of heart up until now. But it does explain my own lack of activity on this site as of late, so thank you for putting my feelings into words.
Feb 5, 2020
speak dat truth brutha, also something other users on this site need to see-

if you're listening to music nonstop and aren't doing IRL things to relate the music back to your world.. you probably dont know nuthin bout music and probably got a real boring personality

+ dont skip class to smoke weed, yall!
Feb 5, 2020
also the blocking feature is VERY useful feature to combat this, curate your own damn experience or sum'n
Feb 5, 2020
I like this song as well. The diarrhea line by Kanye West really resonates with me.
Feb 5, 2020
@Mimikyu

It's basically the best line in his whole career. Kanye needs Cudi.
Feb 5, 2020
I give 100s quite regularly and it's because I just enjoy the music, if it affects me in that way I'll give it a 10 if I can't find a flaw in it, I try to be picky with the 10s, because I see other people with only 5 or 6 of them, then I have 43, but I don't really care. Music affects everyone in a different way and I do just love music a lot, and a lot of albums mean a lot to me.
Feb 6, 2020
Definitely feeling something similar. If not, then exactly the same. Part of the reason why I haven't written anything in a while. "Am I writing for myself or for other people?" I asked myself a few months ago. I'm just now getting out of listeners fatigue, but admittedly, I couldn't be bothered to write a review right now for various reasons. Many of which you already mentioned. Besides, I've taken the time to discover and nurture other hobbies and passions I hold dear. Finally feeling like a person again. Thank you for sharing this. Glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels this way...
Feb 12, 2020
congrats to everyone becoming self-aware in this comment section
Feb 12, 2020
AustinCrane235!!! bruh I miss that boi I was trying to recall the username like yesterday tysm for reminding me, and shoutout to JustAReflektor as well, so many memories on this site man. That whole second paragraph is just perfect, I totally agree. I feel like I've reached that point too, actively searching for problems is truly jus pointless. All love homie <3
Feb 13, 2020
@BuffaloStaple man JustAReflektor was without a doubt the best user ever to be on this site. The Troll of Trolls.
Feb 13, 2020
AN ICON
5d ago
awesome cool legend great music
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