Ed Sheeran - No.6 Collaborations Project
5d ago
Ed Sheeran: HOW DO YA DO FELLOW KIDS?! Would you like to hear my 15 MUSICAL WANK SESSIONS where I feature all these HIP and TRENDY cool artists so I can soak up all the streams?!?!

Wow, this was a disaster.

It seems that Ed Sheeran has figured out his formula to guaranteed success. After spending this decade building up his profile by making some of the most run-of-the-mill singer-songwriter tunes, he now has 65,406,451 monthly Spotify listeners, more than all of your fav artists combined, and this new collab album will completely fill up radio stations like the line to the ice cream truck on a boiling hot summer day.

And what does this project have to offer?

Absolutely nothing. It doesn't even succeed at making presentable and tolerable pop songs to fill up the radio with. That doesn't mean that it won't though. Chances are, you'll wake up this week hearing half of these songs played everywhere you go or you'll see Ed Sheeran's face plastered EVERYWHERE on streaming platforms. Then, you realize that the sole 100% intention of this project is to be selled as a product. There's no artistic integrity, it's just Ed Sheeran cherry-picking the biggest names in the industry right now to take advantage of the streaming algorithm. Essentially, he is the successor to DJ Khaled, just with a bit more presence and direct contribution.

Perhaps this wouldn't be a problem if the songs were actually good or passable, but they aren't. You could even say that this entire thing was doomed from the start!

Like just take a look at the features and how they're put together. Camila Cabello & Cardi B? Eminem & 50 Cent? Bruno Mars & Chris Stapleton? Skrillex? What is this, some kind of random mainstream artist generator?! Then, you listen to the songs and it's so predictable, yet also so unpredictable in terms of execution. It's so predictable cause the songs, the production, the delivery are all so generic and flat, but it's also unpredictable cause it's sometimes so terribly generic or it goes in a sonic direction that literally makes no sense and also falls flat!

The features also tell you just how pandering the entire project is! Of course Ed Sheeran had to get Eminem & 50 Cent together to try and appeal to pop rap oldheads! Of course he had to get all these pop artists cause numbers and money! Of course he tried bringing in UK rappers, R&B artists and a country singer onto the ride as well! Basically, this is Ed Sheeran's desperation and attention-seeking strategy.

Yeah, this thing was a mess, but it was also completely filler and flaccid. Arguably, there's nothing worse than a filler album that presents nothing to the listener. It's only here to take over the streaming charts and we'll just have to deal with this oversaturation for the next week or so! At least Ed Sheeran's previous albums had a few decent songs in them. This is just NOT GOOD on rapidfire!

Also, why was Ed Sheeran rapping? Do we really need to go that far?! Just stop guys, this is already really bad.

(I'm Canadian and I managed to listen to it earlier cause I "legally purchased" this album. See! I do care about my senpai Ed Sheeran and totally didn't not "legally purchase" it. Nooooo, I totally would never do such a thing for my boi Ed Sheeran! Never!)
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1 Comment
3d ago
NOT GOOD on rapidfire! XD
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