Nostalgia Critic - Nostalgia Critic’s The Wall
Sep 21, 2019 (updated Sep 21, 2019)
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Nostalgia Critic Pulls a Corey Feldman and Goes Insane (feat. Corey Taylor of Slipknot).

I've never watched Nostalgia Critic before, and don't know much about him, but you don't even need a brain to realize that this man is crazy. Like, I genuinely believe something is wrong with him. The visuals that came with this album is one of the most bat-shit insane and laughably bad pieces of Internet video footage ever made (e.g. Stripping naked and waving your arms in front of a Slipknot member pretending to be a Jesus figure). They look like they came straight out of a mental asylum.

When I say that this is the worst album of 2019, it really is the worst album of the year! In terms of actual enjoyment, this is probably the worst it could ever get. It's a shockingly unfunny album that somehow fails to land on either end of the enjoyability spectrum (one side being actual enjoyment and the other being ironic enjoyment) by taking itself way too seriously and not so seriously at the same time. How does someone even pull that off? I don't know, ask Doug Walker, he's seems to be the only one to have mastered this incredible ability!

Without the semi-decent/tolerable instrumental work from Rob Scallon, this could've been a complete trainwreck, and no doubt would've been a very close contender for the worst album of all time. But overall, it's just a plainly useless project with nothing redeeming or interesting. Also, you brought Corey Taylor in just to sing the Spongebob theme? Like, are you trying to be funny, cause I sure as hell don't see any humor!

But of course, we also have the visuals. Good lord, it's fucking insane!

To me, Nostalgia Critic's "The Wall" is a video so unintentionally disturbing, it makes David Firth's Salad Fingers series look like a very cute K-Pop music video collection. Disturbing in the sense that Doug Walker actually looked through the entire video and said "Yup, this is perfectly normal! I am totally not insane, this is a perfectly fine video to share to the world. There's nothing I can possibly do to make it better!" Again, it definitely wasn't intentional, but this is the works of an insane man.

I wish I could prepare you in what you're going to see if you click on the video yourself to watch the disaster unfold, but honestly, I can't! I watched through the entire thing, you'll just have to take my word for it! If you don't believe me, then good luck having the worst 39 minutes of your life trying to watch the actual video. Honestly, it's hard to even figure out what the fuck is happening within all the madness!

So, here's a "brief" rundown: There are moments in the video where Nostalgia Critic just shouts erratically and out of control! At around the 14:20 mark, there's a brief skit where Corey Taylor tries to watch TV and changes to a channel where we find Nostalgia Critic stripped naked waving his arms around like he's stuck on a cross shouting "OH MY GOD, DOESN'T THIS REMIND YOU OF JESUS? IM LIKE JESUS, IM JESUS!" (Imagine how much you would have to pay a popular musician to actually sit through this and feature in a video). Reminds me of Miley Cyrus's "WHY THEY PUT THE DICK IN THE PUSSY" freakout. Later on in the video, we also get him and his crew shrieking like maniacs, shouting "TWEET TWEET TWEET" and "HASHTAG HASHTAG HASHTAG". The entire video is filled with shitty, eye-rolling skits that are cringe as hell! The CGI and green screen effects are godawful (e.g. The "EGO" bird). The shitty stock images that flash all over the screen from time to time, yeah that's a thing! There's also this moment in the Another Brick In The Wall parody where Doug Walker pulls a fake Italian accent, saying the most random shit like "CHILDREN'S SOULLLLLLSSSSS". Then, towards the end of the video, we get this strange CGI demonic reptile furry creature that starts singing.

And fuck, after writing all that shit down, I realized that the video is actually a review for The Wall. I'm genuinely concerned. Don't be like me. Keep your sanity and don't watch the video.

Dear Nostalgia Critic, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EXNFtQ5gek.
Sincerely, Inglume.

FAV TRACKS: The Illest Villains, Accordion, Meat Grinder, Bistro, America's Most Blunted, Sickfit, Rainbows, Curls, Do Not Fire!, Money Folder, Shadows of Tomorrow, Operation Lifesaver/Mint Test, Figaro, Hardcore Hustle, Strange Ways, Fancy Clown, Eye, Supervillain Theme, All Caps, Great Day, Rhinestone Cowboy

LEAST FAV TRACK: N/A
Inglume's Tags
12 Comments
Sep 21, 2019
This is an actual thing? This dude is still alive? Yikes.
Sep 21, 2019
@thomasny18 I'm still shocked that this dude actually managed to get Corey Taylor! If I told you one day that I wanted you to feature in a YouTube video where you watch me strip half naked and mimick Jesus, how much would I have to pay you?
Sep 21, 2019
I think the worst thing about it is: it's not a review. They halfassingly talk about their views on the movie after 35 minutes of horrible 'arthouse' skits. It's boring, pretentious and just straight up lame. It's not a review, it's a jerk off fest. Good review on your part though!
Sep 21, 2019
Ok, so I did give it a try. Well, 13 minutes of it. Kinda just knew it wasn't gonna get much better. I think its main issue (other than being cringy), is that the criticisms are like a shitpost, but made to look something more significant. A lot of this could've been said in a tweet, but they made the effort into fooling themselves that what they were saying was worth doing a whole parody of
Sep 21, 2019
I remember watching this channel when I was younger, and that would always be the impression I got, that self-importance Doug seems to carry. Unfortunately, he goes overboard with it and in a way replaced it over, well, trying. Like, yeah, you could say they tried to make a video of it, which in itself can be looked at as a grand achievement, but what I mean is that it's like they thought they cut the corners on something that wasn't worth doing to begin with
Sep 21, 2019
I mean, forget the surface level critiques, doesn't it just look very shitty? I think there's something in Doug that makes him think it would be on par with the original The Wall, which is insane. Doug is the type of person who thinks putting 8 hours into coursework is enough. Like, yes, that is a lot of time, but for what you're trying to achieve, it is so minuscule for what's required
Sep 21, 2019
Anyway, that's my take
Sep 21, 2019
@PipePanic Imagine sitting through 40 minutes of...whatever the hell the video was and the only valid piece of criticism given is shorter than 1/16th of the Twitter character limit.
Sep 21, 2019
HEY GUYS, FREE @THOMASNY18 REVIEW HERE. 100 PINATA POINTS AND THE REVIEW IS YOURS!
Sep 22, 2019
@inglume it's fine: thats the review
Sep 22, 2019
I used to watch NC a lot back in the day, he used to have a type of charm to his videos but now he goes way too overboard with his sketches and his humor has gotten cornier over the years
4d ago
"Doesn't this remind you of Jesus? I'm Jesus! LOOK AT ME, I'M JESUS!"
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