The kind of album I'd personally only imagine turning on if I was some angsty preteen after slapping my mom, locking myself in the bathroom and draining her top-quality hair conditioning down the toilet, but otherwise, I'd rather take my chances with the 'nanny' music they play at my doctors' waiting room. On a very lucky day, they play some Otis Redding.
Utterly boring, painfully conceived, almost delusional and unlikeable set of generic indie pop and R&B tracks you've heard before, done better with far more precision. Horrendous songwriting and singing that sometimes makes your skin crawl, you belch in disgust when a moment like 'Cancel Me', 'Chicken Tenders' or the agonizingly unsexy 'Come Here' pops up. This goes toe-to-toe alongside laughably poor production. If these tracks don't make a listener like me roll my eyes or wince, my head sinks beneath my stomach in boredom and embarrassment.
In spite of these irredeemable qualities, What Could Possibly Go Wrong's most colossal failure presents itself in the form of stale bread — painfully dull and unoriginal. The point of an artist's debut record is to establish a distinctive style, something that listeners would latch on to and remember for years to come, something unfeasible with Fike's current narrow appeal, but something his past EP did somewhat right. There's nothing interesting, 'rad' or cool about a grown ass man saying "I hope I get Me Too’d", and these songs provide nothing to the world of indie pop and alternative R&B. The quality equivalent of your typical YouTube ad, when those 5 seconds are up, you hit "Skip" and move on.
"Chicken tenders in my hotel, yeah / Christina's in my bed watchin' TV shows / When she hit the remote with her legs shakin', that's good love makin' / Watchin' wherever my head facin', it's for bugs, baby" - Worst Chorus of the Year Contender
FAV TRACKS: Wurli
LEAST FAV TRACKS: Chicken Tenders, Cancel Me, 10x Stronger, Good Game, Superstar Shit, Florida