Ween - The Mollusk
Jun 8, 2019 (updated Jun 8, 2019)
AHHHH...GOOD MORNING (time zones totally aren't a thing) fellow land mammals! Hope you're having a wonderful summer day! Let me introduce myself. I am your professional marine tour guide, Clam Eater 3000, and today we will be taking a journey down the Australian beaches into the cool, mysterious waters of the prosperous Great Barrier Reef. A lot is awaiting us!

Today, we are examining a strange breed of creatures that inhabit between the magnificent, colorful corals, known as "Ween". Although we are certain more of these creatures reside in this pure environment, we've only ever managed to locate and track 2 males, which we named "Dean" and "Gene".

What has baffled scientists since their discovery is their strange, supernatural ability to produce psychedelic aquatic sounds that attract many other sea creatures in a human-like way. Some speculate that this is the mating call the males make, but this doesn't explain the creatures we commonly see alongside these sea mammals that are attracted by these sounds. Mainly, whales with polka dot tails, mollusks, golden eels and even dogs. But it's not just animals, humans too! Sea pirates, stage performers, groaning men and old Jimmy Wilson who lives down the street can be seen partying alongside the Weens.

During previous examinations of these creatures, we were able to gather a series of audio recordings for the strange alien-like, oceanic music that they produce and created a full-length album displaying the incredibly fascinating soundscapes of this fantasy-filled aquatic ecosystem.

Though strange to handle at first, The Mollusk is a once-in-a-lifetime album experience that musically captures an exciting and thrilling journey into the sea, the same kind of wonder and experience you would find in children's books! The unique, vibrant psychedelic rock atmosphere really takes you into this great ocean wonderland, one that you find yourself coming back to and not wanting to leave. It's an experience fit for any time of the year, but the true colors of it are more obvious during the summer seasons. This album is incredibly addictive, fun and simply gorgeous! Listening to this during the summer is like reliving the childhood you may or may not have had, and that's a beautiful and happy feeling!

So take the time and experience the music of the deep blue seas for yourself! It's the perfect summer album that will put a smile on your face, and there's no turning back! If you get lost in the sauce, just make it through the night and everything will be alright! If you journey too far into the sea, Ocean Man will take you by the hand and lead you back to land! There's nothing you will risk, so just be happy cause it's gonna be alright.

And that concludes my tour guide for today! The rest of the time is yours. If you ever feel the need to speak with me, just know that Clam Eater 3000 will be there for you. I'll be your Johnny on the spot! Goodbye everyone, I'll remember you all in therapy! :)


FAV TRACKS: I'm Dancing in the Show Tonight, The Mollusk, Polka Dot Tail, I'll be Your Johnny on the Spot, Mutilated Lips, The Blarney Stone, It's Gonna Be (Alright), The Golden Eel, Waving My Dick in the Wind, Buckingham Green, Ocean Man

LEAST FAV TRACKS: seriously? Well, I guess Cold Blows The Wind if I actually had to pick
1 Comment
6d ago
Bruh, same. Apparently this album inspired Spongebob
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