Roger Waters - The Dark Side of the Moon Redux
"Why don't we rerecord Dark Si-" *Laughs hysterically*
"He's gone mad."
Thirty Seconds to Mars - It's the End of the World, But It's a Beautiful Day
Mars’ shortest album yet is a paradoxically sombre yet chaotic record where bad and good songwriting crash in spectacular fashion. For the majority of it, Jared Leto, an otherwise incredibly talented rock vocalist, commits himself to monotone chastity for some inexplicable reason and drowns himself in a disgusting amount of vocal effects, crooning awful lyrics over beats ripped straight from an FL Studio example folder.

Some compelling ideas turn up; the many spicy beat switchups, ... read more

Voyager - Fearless In Love
Though repetitious and too heavily reliant on looping melodies, the raw power demonstrated here through Voyager's unique brand of electronic and metal fusion is awe-inspiring. So too are instances where minimalist themes are paired with epic synth loops and straight-up bass porn. As if spiting good judgement on purpose, it works astonishingly well. Danny has an immaculate voice, but when Alex sings, my pussy turns into a waterfall. I would've loved to hear him more throughout this record.
Kesha - Gag Order
I really wanted this to grow on me... Kesha continues to translate her unique worldview into another set of profoundly beautiful lyrics, but the musical direction here is simply too bizarre. Less does it sound like music with a purpose, but more a haphazardly-assembled sound collage improvised at the last minute. This monolithic aesthetic, and kaleidoscopic approach to the songwriting, makes it difficult to be entertained enough to properly engage with the challenging themes presented here.
Pink Floyd - Time (2023 Remaster)
I'll provide context to this release here, since nobody actually reads comments on this website (lmao). This unusual mix of "Time" was produced for the "Us and Them / Time" single released in 1974 as a 7” vinyl. The original seven-minute mix of “Time” was too long to fit on a 7” vinyl, and the abrupt segue into the “Breathe” reprise did not make sense out of the context of the album.
Gustaph - Because of You
While it is not Eurovision-winning material, Gustaph brings to the stage a competent, catchy, and rhythmically flamboyant song that wears its simplicity proudly on its sleeves. It’s not everyday you hear a five-note melody over a very basic drumbeat work so well, and it makes quite a dangerously infectious earworm. I am definitely guilty of having sung this a few times in the shower, myself.
Käärijä - Cha Cha Cha
The belligerence and raw energy of the track’s trancecore thumping, and Jere‘s soul-piercingly deep and raspy voice, are already perfect compliments for this incredibly fun toast to drinking after a long, hard week. Combine those with a surprising adherence to conventionally attractive music tropes despite its niche style, and you have a straight-up modern dance masterpiece. Alessandra is the queen of the kings, but Jere is the king of piña coladas.
Teya - Who the Hell Is Edgar?
Eurovision's restrictive three-minute time limit for performances is often detrimental to the artistic limits of performers, but Teya and Salena somehow manage to make it fucking work. Hilarious, charming, and stuffed to the brim with a lot of depth atypical to its kind of sound at Eurovision, the duo understood the assignment and passed with not a lick of effort to be discerned, as they stick a knife into the very streaming service that helped the contest remain relevant into the 2020s.
Blanka - Solo
Talking about this song is impossible without mentioning the amazing song by Jann from which it robbed a spot in Eurovision... and that is understandable. Any of the completely manufactured aspects of "Solo" that give this sterile, ticking-off-the-checklist pop song any semblance of personality are unmasked for what they truly are when it is put next to "Gladiator": an incredibly safe and cynical attempt at pleasing as much of the Polish television demographic as possible.
Loreen - Tattoo
If Loreen becomes the first woman to win Eurovision twice, this is a hell of a song to do it with. The grandeur of the track's production compliments Loreen's angelic voice to such a harmonious degree that even Adele + Paul Epworth songs don't compare. That "violins playing..." lift is one of the most spine-chilling lifts I have ever heard, and the refrain that follows, belted at the top of Loreen's lungs, more than lives up to it. This is leagues better than "Euphoria".
Mae Muller - I Wrote a Song
The only thing worse than Eurovision love songs are Eurovision breakup songs, and holy shit does this particular example ever scrape the bottom of the barrel for generic and lazy songwriting. It baffles me how the BBC can select such a spitting image of James Newman's zero-points grocery store soundtrack as their Eurovision entry the very year after they almost won the fucking thing with Sam Ryder's hauntingly beautiful ode to loneliness and dissociation. It is just insulting.
100 gecs - 10,000 gecs
The FBI's bounty of $10,000 is not worth tracking down two clearly deranged individuals who are more than capable of gruesomely murdering me... so I'll just jam to their music instead. The seemingly never-ending wait for this 26-minute block of sugar-filled, honey-seasoned dopamine was definitely worth it, though. Dylan and Laura have somehow managed to make their sound slightly more accessible, while sacrificing none of the crackpipe energy and glittering personality that made their sound ... read more
Vistas - The Beautiful Nothing
Three tracks of the same great Vistas pop rock aesthetic are followed by the band's two most poignant pieces of songwriting ever. In penning a song about the sobriety of loneliness and meaningless, and a song about nostalgically loving somebody toxic, Vistas play both concepts straight while still maintaining their addictive, upbeat charm, producing a kind of melancholic feeling that rivals even 'Morning Glory'-era Noel Gallagher; cry-while-you-headbop energy.
Dave Connolly - Premier League Anthem
I am inexorably convinced that no other sports anthem captures the culture and vibe of the country and league it represents quite like Dave Connolly's majestic love letter to British alternative rock. It has the blaring guitars and brass, and melancholic strings, reminiscent of Britpop bands like Oasis and the Verve. It has the 'small recording studio with massive amounts of reverb added in post' atmosphere reminiscent of post-Britpop bands like Embrace and Coldplay. It even has an incredibly ... read more
Illymation - Neverland
'Neverland' threads a lot of raw emotional maturation through a short, but satisfying set of tunes which borrow heavily from the indie sounds of the past decade or two. While there is nothing too spectacular and awe-inspiring here, it is clear that Ilyssa not only has a beautiful voice, but is also exceptionally talented at channeling her thoughts through her musical inspirations. This meditative and authentic quality to her artistry makes this EP a diamond in the rough among so-called ... read more
The 1975 - Being Funny in a Foreign Language
Fuuuck. Yeees. Everything that I have come to love about this band's music is here. The ear-tickling guitars, the soundproof closet production, the grooves that inspire involuntary ass-shaking, the "Matt, what the fuck are you singing about?" moments, the crack addictive sing-a-long choruses that rival even Coldplay's... all finally distilled in a dense forty minutes, rather than the diffuse and difficult Scorsese-length albums of old.
Embrace - How To Be A Person Like Other People
Rediscovering the power of a great guitar riff, this is an incredible return to form that wields beautiful vocal, piano, and guitar melodies like a giant stick, though speaks a little softly with overtly simplistic lyricism reminiscent of those from the band's post-britpop heyday. Despite the sentimental value of the music here, it still very much lives in the shadow of the bombastic and ambitious sound of their eponymous masterpiece from a decade ago.
Train - AM Gold
It is as if after making 'Bulletproof Piccasso', Pat and company told themselves, "alright, we just did the best album we have ever made. It is fun, enjoyable, and surprisingly lyrically profound for even us... let's do nothing like that ever again." For two straight albums now they have tripled-down on the one thing people, even long-time fans like myself, hate most about Train's music: their boomer soccer mom songs. Uuuuuuuuughhhh, please kill me now.
Florence + The Machine - Dance Fever
The poignant songwriting of their last two albums, with the upbeat alt-rock sound of their first two, while perserving one constant: Florence's insane vocal talent. Listening to this, I feel like I am having my cake and eating it too, and it feels really fucking good. The band did not need to spoil us with such a maticulously-crafted collection of songs that accentuate both their baroque vibe and their full artistic range, but they did, and the music world is now better because of it.
Kendrick Lamar - Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers
If 'Damn.' was a solem moment of introspection, 'Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers' is an intense therapy session. Kendrick delves into some intensley dark fragments from his past to pull rhymes from on this record, and while I can't say I vibe with most of the very contemporary and honestly uninspired sounds on the album, his lyrical talent is absolutely as strong as it has always been. I am in awe of Kendrick's ability to put together a collossal mental labyrinth of an album that is not only ... read more
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Recent Review Comments
On melpsv__'s review of Thirty Seconds to Mars - It's the End of the World, But It's a Beautiful Day
"Sonically cohesive, but at what cost? I think most people would take a kaleidoscopic shotgun blast of bangers like ‘Love Lust Faith + Dreams’ over a largely consistent snoozefest such as this album any day."
On Brad Taste's review of Coldplay - Music of the Spheres
"Then why is your score 38 and not 20?"
On guiromeiro's review of Coldplay - Music of the Spheres
"The snippets from the album came out literally two days before the "Coloratura" single released, so... there really isn't an excuse lol"
On riley's review of Andrew W.K. - God Is Partying
"I don't get it."
On August's review of Drake - Way 2 Sexy
"Poor Sirwayjay has no clue what's going on lmao"
On Drake - Certified Lover Boy
"Please point to where I said this was a review."
On Musicnerdd's review of Imagine Dragons - Mercury - Act 1
"In response to your shout; I was honestly impressed by how well he handled the rather unusual melodies of "Easy Come Easy Go", and it's probably the best showcase of his whisper-singing style yet. "Giants" is a fucking mess, but "Dull Knives" and "Cutthroat" are much better examples of Reynolds' ability to channel the maniacal energy of the songs into focused screams that staple the vocals and percussion to create an insane oomph to the tracks. And honestly, "My Life" alone sees Reynolds sing at greater range and volume than anything on Night Visions; even his vocals on the climax of "Hear Me" and the choruses of "Bleeding Out" don't reach the same technical heights that most of the stuff here on 'Mercury'. That's my two cents."
On Musicnerdd's review of Imagine Dragons - Mercury - Act 1
"The sentiment of this review I agree with, but this album has Dan Reynolds' most varied and passionate vocal performances yet, and songs like "My Life" and "Dull Knives" have a pretty profound artistic edge to them that you perhaps might have missed."
On oakie's review of Bazzi - Mine
"Are you need of an ambulance? We can call you one right now!"
On August's review of Kanye West - Donda
"What is this "kanye" you speak of?"
On Lucmun's review of Switchfoot - interrobang
"Color me interested, Jesus boy!"
On CameronFriezer's review of Coldplay - Coloratura
"It's been implied that each of the twelve tracks represents a unique planet, so that might be the thematic tie of the knot between twelve completely different-sounding tracks."
On Tyckz's review of Muse - Origin of Symmetry (XX Anniversary RemiXX)
"What's funny is the probability that Matt himself made the decision to fuck his own vocals up, seeing as he made it very clear in the promos for this release that he wanted the instruments to be heard more throughout the album... or some bullshit like that. It's the excuse he gave for cutting out the cute little noises at the end of "Citizen Erased", at least."
On zachthesnack's review of The Offspring - Let The Bad Times Roll
"I feel like a dumbass for hopping aboard the hype train for this album back in 2015/16. Good thing I bailed not too long afterwards considering the time it actually took for the band to put this out and how piss poor it eventually was."
On ThaBaby's review of Justin Bieber - Freedom.
"I assume the "Biebman" changed your sexual orientation to scatosexual?"
"@MattsReviews Yeah, that makes a lot of sense now that I think about it. You instinctively clicked the first option in the dropdown menu, right?"
"I'm curious though, how the fuck did you manage to accidentally delete your review? Good job, dude hahaha"
"Merlyn indeed do be Merlyn thangs. Merlyn! This is probably the best favorable review of the album on here yet. Nice stuff, Pipe!"
On Kauan - Ice Fleet
"Absolutely! Do be prepared to have the lyrics and Google Translate up while you're listening to it though, if you're not familiar with scandanavian languages."
On Metallica - St. Anger
"Ahh fuck, thanks! I love your reviews!"

November Playlist