Eminem - Music To Be Murdered By - Side B
Dec 18, 2020
NR
this (the) epitome
of so so bad that its good
you can tell that he's

having fun making
these stupid ass songs, riddled
with so so many

corny lines, i had
fun listening him losing
his goddamn mind , yes
345 Comments
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, goddamn!)
I'm gonna facking cum! (Oh, shit!)
Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)
I am, I'm going to cum (I'm cumming!)
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1]
(Oh yeah, God!) I never seen no chick like this
This bitch can twist like a damn contortionist
Condom on my dick? Of course it is
This bitch don't know what abortion is
So I can't cum in her, fucks like a porn star
Looks like Jenna, fack, I'm gonna
Cum, I think my rubber's comin' off
But oh, it's so fucking wet and soft
Fuck, I'm gonna start lettin' off
I'm squirting and she's not gettin' off
And she's on top, I'm gonna facking
Oh, God, oh, don't do that
Don't, stop, stop, don't, I don't mean "don't stop"
Ow, wait a minute, ow, ow, fuck
I, I'm gonna fucking cum! *squirt squirt squirt*

[Chorus]
Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, goddamn!)
I'm gonna fucking cum! (Oh, shit!)
Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)
I am, I'm going to cum (I'm cumming!)
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2]
(Oh, yeah, God!) Ooh, wow, boom that pow
Ooh, ow, I need a cigarette now
Ow, I'm so fucking hot
And you're so fucking hot
Oh my god, I wanna facking fack
No not "fuck", I said "fack"
F-A-C-K, F-A-C-K
Fack, fack, fack, facking freak me!
Oh yeah, girl see, baby, they call me Mr. Freaky
Let's call your sister, three-way
Have some threesome, me so horny
And you're such a fucking babe
I wanna go down on you—fuck, you shaved?!
Oh, goddamn, here I go again
I'm gonna cum, I am!
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, goddamn!)
I'm gonna facking cum! (Oh, shit!)
Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)
I am, I'm going to cum (I'm cumming!)
Dec 18, 2020
[Interlude]
I'm Slim Shady, uh, uh, uh
I'm Slim Shady, uh, uh, uh
I'm Slim Shady, uh, uh, uh
I'm Slim Shady, uh, uh, uh
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3]
Okay, I'm done, I already came twice
You ain't gonna make me cum
I'm all outta gas, not so fast
Uh, your finger just went in my ass
Ow, that hurts, take it out now
Oh, wait a minute, aw
Put it back in, in-in-in
This don't mean I'm gay, I don't like men
I like boobs, boobs, boobs
Now see that gerbil, grab that tube
Shove it up my butt
Let that little rascal nibble on my asshole, uhh
Yeah, right there, right there
Ahh, I'm cumming, oh, yeah
Fack, I just came again
Okay, pull it out now, enhh
Oh, fuck yeah
Wait, he's not out, he's still crawling around up there
Ow, fuck, I think it's stuck
Ow, but it feels so fucking good
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, goddamn!)
I'm gonna facking cum! (Oh, shit!)
Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)
I am, I'm going to cum (I'm cumming!)
Dec 18, 2020
[Outro]
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube
Ew, ew, ew, ew
Dec 18, 2020
Great Haiku Parthony
Dec 18, 2020
Thanks for this
Dec 18, 2020
Ken Kaniff (Skit) [1999]
Dec 18, 2020
[Ken Kaniff, (Operator), & Eminem]
I'm gonna call this motherfucker
Oh, fuck yeah
Give him a piece of my mind, a piece of my ass
(Thank you for waiting, hello, may I help you?)
Oh, thank you, I need to make a collect call
(What number?)
Oh, the number is **6-2***
(At the tone, please say your name)
Kenneth Kaniff from Connecticut, automated piece of shit
Yo
Hey there, cock boy
Who's this?
This is Ken Kaniff
Who?
Ken Kaniff from Connecticut, you little bitch
From Connecticut?
Yeah, you wanna get a-
I don't know nobody in Connecticut
You wanna get a hotel room with me?
A hotel room?
Yeah, you want me to lick your ass, Eminem?
Yo, who is this, Cage?
Hey, you want me to fuckin' melt in your mouth and not in your hand?
Melt in your ass, you little cock boy
Yo, shut up, you lil bitch
Oh, you think I'm lyin', huh?
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
Dec 18, 2020
Ken Kaniff (Skit) [2000]
Dec 18, 2020
[Skit: Ken Kaniff, Shaggy 2 Dope, Violent J]
Uhh...
Uhh... oh yeah
Uhh, suck it (Mmm...)
Oh, fuck yeah (...Mmm)
Oh, Shaggy
Uhh
This is why they call you '2 Dope', ain't it? (Mmm...)
Uhh, fuck yeah
Uhh, take it out, take it out
Uhh, now give something to J
Uhh, Violent J
Ooh, don't bite it, don't be violent with it, ow
Just suck it, nice and slow
Yeah... uhh
Uhh, fuck yeah
You got.. uhh, now give it back to Shaggy
He was sucking it better, uhh, now say my name
(Eminem!) Say my name
(Eminem!) What?
Oh, fuck you guys!
G-Give me my dick back! (Wha-a-a-a-a-)
Fuck you guys! (Wait, what- wait, Ken!)
If you want Eminem, you can have Eminem! (Wha-a-a-)
Fuck you guys, I'mma leaving! (No- i-e-o- no!)
No! Ken, wait! I-I- (*door slams*)
Aw, damn!
Nice going, Shaggy!
Dec 18, 2020
Puke
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro]
*Eminem pukes into the toilet*
*Eminem hocks and spits into the toilet*
*Toilet flush*
There I go, thinking of you again

[Hook]
You don't know how sick you make me
You make me fucking sick to my stomach
Every time I think of you I puke
You must just not kno-o-o-o-o-o-ow
You may not think you do, but you do
Every time I think of you I puke
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1]
I was gonna take the time to sit down and write you a little poem
But off of the dome would probably be a little more
More suitable for this type of song, whoa
I got a million reasons off the top of my head that I could think of
Sixteen bars just ain't enough to put some ink to
So fuck it, I'ma start right here, I'll just be brief, I'm
'Bout to rattle off some of the reasons
I knew I shouldn't go and get another tattoo
Of you on my arm, but what do I go and do?
I go and get another one, now I got two (Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Now I'm sitting here with your name on my skin
I can't believe I went and did this stupid shit again
My next girlfriend, now her name's gotta be Kim (Shi-i-i-i-i-i-it)
If you only knew how much I hated you
For every motherfucking thing you've ever put us through
Then I wouldn't be standing here crying over you (Boo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-hoo)
Dec 18, 2020
[Hook]
You don't know how sick you make me
You make me fucking sick to my stomach
Every time I think of you I puke
You must just not kno-o-o-o-o-o-ow
You may not think you do, but you do
Every time I think of you I puke
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2]
I was gonna take the time to sit down and write you a little letter
But I thought a song would probably be a little better
Instead of a letter that you'd probably just shred up, yeah
I stumbled on your picture yesterday and it made me stop and think of
How much of a waste it'd be for me to put some ink to, a stupid piece of
Paper, I'd rather let you see how
Much I fucking hate you in a freestyle
You're a fucking cokehead slut, I hope you fucking die
I hope you get to hell and Satan sticks a needle in your eye
I hate your fucking guts, you fucking slut, I hope you die (Di-i-i-i-i-i-ie)
But please don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter or mad
It's not that I still love you, it's not 'cause I want you back
It's just that when I think of you it makes me wanna yack (A-a-a-a-a-a-ack)
But what else can I do? I haven't got a clue
Now I guess I'll just move on, I have no choice but to
But every time I think of you now all I wanna do is pu-u-u-u-u-u-uke
Dec 18, 2020
[Hook]
You don't know how sick you make me
You make me fucking sick to my stomach
Every time I think of you I puke
You must just not kno-o-o-o-o-o-ow
You may not think you do, but you do
Every time I think of you I puke
Dec 18, 2020
[Outro]
*Eminem pukes into the toilet*
*Eminem hocks and spits into the toilet*
*Toilet flush*
*Eminem burps*
Ah, damn!
Fucking bitch
Dec 18, 2020
My 1st Single
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro]
Oh! Yeah! So much for first single on this one

[Verse 1]
Shady's the label, Aftermath is the stable
That the horses come out of—erra
Of course we're about to stir up
Some shit thick as Mrs. Buttersworth's syrup
It's the Mr. Picked-on-Christopher-Reeves-just-for-no-reason
Other than to—just to tease him
'Cause he was his biggest (*burp*) fan
He used to be Superman, now I'm pourin'
Liquor on the curb in his name for him
"Eminem, you wait 'til we meet up again, fucker
I'm kickin' your ass for everything you've ever said."
It goes one for the money, two for the fuckin' show
Ready, get set, let's go
Here comes the buckin' bronco
Stompin' and stampedin' up the damn street like them buffalo
Soldiers, I told ya I'm 'bout to blow, so look out below, Geronimo
Motherfuckers, it's dominoes, I'm on a roll
Around and around I go
When will I stop? I don't know
Tryin' to pick up where The Eminem Show left off
But I know anything's possible
Though I'm not gonna top what I sold
I'm at the top o
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
And this was supposed to be my first single (*burp*)
But I just fucked that up, so
Fuck it, let's all have fun, let's mingle (*burp*)
Slap a bitch and smack a ho
This was supposed to be my catchy little jingle (*fart*)
That you hear on your radio
But shit's about to hit the shingle (*fart*)
Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-no, erra
Oh, ah, erra, oh, ah, erra
Oh, ah, erra, oh-oh-ah-ah
Oh, ah, erra, oh, ah, erra
Oh, ah, erra, poo-poo-ka-ka
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2]
Eri-Eri-Erick swallowed some generic sleeping pills
And woke up in bed next to his best friend Derrick, bare-naked
Jig-a-jig-ji-ji-Janean just turned 16 and used a fake ID
To sneak in V.I.P. to see R. Kelly
Hee-hee-hee-hee-hee-hee to be so young and naïve
Oh what I wouldn't give to live so Kim and carefree
Paris and Nicky's parents must be so tickled, they cherish
Every picture with their kids with hickeys all over their necks
Hickory-dickory Dirk Diggler, look at me work wizardry
With these words – am I a jerk or just jerk chicken?
Or chiga-chigga-chig-chig-jer-chig-jer jerkin' your chain
Twenty-two jerks in a jerk circle, or is it a circle jerk?
Wait a minute, what am I sayin'? Allow me to run it back
And rewind it {blblblblblblblb} – wait, let me ask you again
Am I just jerkin' your chain? Am I berserk or insane?
Or am I just one of them damn amateurs workin' the dang
Cameras, filmin' one of them Paris Hilton homemade
Pornos, who keeps tiltin' the lens at an angle
Jigga-ji
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
And this was supposed to be. my first single (*burp*)
But I just fucked that up, so
Fuck it, let's all have fun, let's mingle (*burp*)
Slap a bitch and smack a ho
This was supposed to be my catchy little jingle (*fart*)
That you hear on your radio
But shit's about to hit the shingle (*fart*)
Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-no, erra
Oh, ah, erra, oh, ah, erra
Oh, ah, erra, oh-oh-ah-ah
Oh, ah, erra, oh, ah, erra
Oh, ah, erra, poo-poo-ka-ka
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3]
Any opinions or somethin' you just wanna get off your chest
And address it about my lyrics I'd love to hear it
All you gotta do is pick up the phone and just dial up this number
It's 1-800-I'M-A-DICK-SUCKER-I'D-LOVE-TO-SUCK-A-DICK
And if someone picks up
You can talk all the shit you want about me
Just type in your number back and follow it by the pound key
And I'll be sure to get back as soon as there comes a day
That I fall out with Dre, wake up gay and make up with Ray (hey!)
So fuck a chicken, lick a chicken, suck a chicken, beat a chicken
Eat a chicken like it's a big cock, big-a-big-cock!
Or suck a dick, and lick a dick, and eat a dick, and stick a dick in your mouth
I'm done, you can fuck off, fuck-a-fuck-off!
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
And this was supposed to be my first single (*burp*)
But I just fucked that up, so
Fuck it, let's all have fun, let's mingle (*burp*)
Slap a bitch and smack a ho
This was supposed to be my catchy little jingle (*fart*)
That you hear on your radio
But shit's about to hit the shingle (*fart*)
Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-no, erra
Oh, ah, erra, oh, ah, erra
Oh, ah, erra, oh-oh-ah-ah
Oh, ah, erra, oh, ah, erra
Oh, ah, erra, poo-poo-ka-ka (*burp*)
Dec 18, 2020
Big Weenie
Dec 18, 2020
whoa
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro]
I don't understand
Why are you being so mean?
You're a mean, mean man
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
You're just jealous of me 'cause you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things about me
'Cause you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
'Cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things, 'cause it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1]
Alright, listen, I need you to focus
I need you to go dig deep in your mind, this is important
We are going to perform an experiment of the sorts
I'm going to have to ask you to bear with me for a moment
Now I need you to open your mind, your eyes, close 'em
You are now about to be placed under my hypnosis
For the next four and a half minutes, we are going to explore
Into your mind to find out why you're so fucking jealous
Now why did they make yoo-hoo? Pippity-kaka-poo-poo
Psych, I'm kidding, I just wanted to see if you're still listening
Okay, now I need your undivided attention
Sir, I have a question, why do I always sense this undeniable tension?
From the moment that I enter into the room it gets all quiet and whispers
Whenever there's conversation, why am I always mentioned?
I've been dying to ask, it's been itching at me, is it just because...
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
You're just jealous of me 'cause you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things about me
'Cause you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
'Cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things, 'cause it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2]
Alright now I (Shit), I just flubbed a line
I was going to say something extremely important
But I forgot who or what it was, I fucked up
Psych, I'm kidding again, you idiot, no, I didn't
That's just what you wanted to hear from me is that I fucked up, ain't it?
But I can bust one take without looking at no paper
It doesn't take a bunch of takes or me to stand here in this booth all day
For me to say the truth, okay? You're drooling, you have tooth decay
Your mouth is open, you're disgusting, what the fuck you eat for lunch?
A bunch of sweets or something? What, you munch a bunch of Crunch 'n Munch?
Your tooth is rotten to the gum, your breath stinks, wanna chew some gum?
"Yes, I do, sir, what am I on?" You, sir, are on truth serum
"Marshall, I'm so jealous of you, please say you won't tell nobody
I'd be so embarrassed, I'm just absolutely terrified
That someone's gonna find out why I'm saying all these terrible
Evil and awful mean things, it's my own insecurities"
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
You're just jealous of me 'cause you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things about me
'Cause you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
'Cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things, 'cause it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3]
Alright, now we, we're going to conduct
That experiment that we were talking about earlier
Just to see what a frog looks like when it takes two hits of ecstasy
'Cause that's exactly what your eyes look like, wanna check to see?
Here's a mirror, notice the resemblance here?
Wait, let me put these sunglasses on, now look in this mirror
How 'bout now? What do you have in common?
You're both green with envy and look like idiots with sunglasses on 'em
You look like I sound like singing about weenies
Now take my weenie out of your mouth
This is between me and you, I know you're not happy
I know you'd much rather see me lying in the corner of a room somewhere crying
Curled up in a ball, tweaked out of my mind, dying, there's no denying
That my weenie is much bigger than yours is
Mine is like sticking a banana between two oranges
Why are you even doing this to yourself? It's pointless
Why do we have to keep on going through this? This is torturous
My point is this
That if you say mea
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
You're just jealous of me 'cause you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things about me
'Cause you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
'Cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things, 'cause it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
Dec 18, 2020
[Outro]
Fuck off my dick
Dec 18, 2020
Ass Like That
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro]
Ow, baby
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
The way you shake it, I can't believe it
I ain't never seen an ass like that
The way you move it, you make my pee-pee go
D-doing, doing, doing
I don't believe it, it's almost too good to be true
I ain't never seen an ass like that
The way you move it, you make my pee-pee go
D-doing, doing, doing
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1]
The way she moves, she's like a belly dancer
She's shaking that ass to the new Nelly jams, I
Think someone's at the door, but I don't think I'ma answer
Police saying "freeze," (Oh), d-doing, doing, doing
What do you mean, freeze?
Please, I'm a human being, I have needs
I'm not done, not 'til I'm finished peeing
I am not resisting arrest, I am agreeing
Mr. Officer, I'm already on my knees
I can't get on the ground any further, it's impossible for me
And do not treat me like a murderer, I just like to pee
Pee, pee, yes, I make R&B
I sing song, it go ring-a-chong, a-ching-chong-chong-chong-ching
Psych, I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid
If I offend, I'm sorry, please, please, forgive
For I am Triumph the Puppet Dog, I am a mere puppet
I can get away with anything I say and you will love it
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
The way you shake it, I can't believe it
I ain't never seen an ass like that
The way you move it, you make my pee-pee go
D-doing, doing, doing
Jessica Simpson looks oh so tempting
Nick, I ain't never seen an ass like that
Every time I see the show on MTV, my pee-pee goes
D-doing, doing, doing
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2]
Mary-Kate and Ashley used to be so wholesome
Now they getting older, they're starting to grow bum-bums
I go to the movies and sit down with my popcorn
Police saying "freeze," (Oh), d-doing, doing, doing
What do you mean, freeze? Geez, I just got my seat
I have ticket, look, I put it away, my zipper's zipped
Please do not remove me from this movie theater, please
I did not even get to see Mary-Kate shower scene
I didn't mean to be obscene or make a great, big scene
And don't treat me like I'm Pee-wee Herman, this movie's PG
Mr. Officer, I demand to see my attorney
I will simply plead innocent, cop a plea, and be free
Free, yes, free, right back on the streets
What do you mean my lawyer's with Michael, he's too busy?
I am Triumph, Britney Spears has shoulders like a man
And I can say that and you'll laugh 'cause there's a puppet on my hand (Hahaha)
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
The way you shake it, I can't believe it
I ain't never seen an ass like that
The way you move it, you make my pee-pee go
D-doing, doing, doing
Hilary Duff is not quite old enough, so
I ain't never seen a butt like that
Maybe next year, I'll say "ass" and she'll make my pee-pee go
D-doing, doing, doing
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3]
The way she moves, she dances like a go-go
In that video, she sings, "Get out, you bozo"
I need a new boyfriend, hi, my name is JoJo
Police saying "freeze," (Oh), d-doing, doing, doing
What do you mean, freeze? My computers will be seized
And my keys to my ranch, I just bake cookies
Mr. Officer, lookie, take a whiff of this
Here, I make Jesus juice, take a sip of this
Nobody is safe from me, no, not even me
I don't even know if I can say the word "pee-pee"
Pee, on the radio, but I think I did
Janet, is that a breast? I think I just saw a tit
Psych, I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid
I don't think my joke is working, I must flee quick
Get to the chopper, everybody get out
I am not Triumph, I am Arnold, get down
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
The way you shake it, I can't believe it
I ain't never seen an ass like that
The way you move it, you make my pee-pee go
D-doing, doing, doing
So Gwen Stefani, will you pee-pee on me, please?
I ain't never seen an ass like that
'Cause the way you move it, you make my pee-pee go
D-doing, doing, doing
Dec 18, 2020
[Outro: Eminem & Dr. Dre]
Woo
Fuck is wrong with you?
Hah
Dec 18, 2020
@Cry @Basic_Garci @Chode

H̷͚͝E̴̡͝L̸̡͊P̶͕̽ ̸̻́Ḿ̸̬E̵͓̍
Dec 18, 2020
Just Lose It
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro]
Down, down, down
Down, down, down
Down, down, down
Down, okay
Guess who's back, back again
Shady's back, tell a friend
Now everyone report to the dance floor
To the dance floor, to the dance floor
Now everyone report to the dance floor
Alright, stop, pajama time
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1]
Come here, little kiddies, on my lap
Guess who's back with a brand new rap?
And I don't mean "rap" as in a new case
Of child molestation accusations
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah, no worries
Papa's got a brand new bag of toys
What else could I possibly do to make noise?
I done touched on everything but little boys
And that's not a stab at Michael
That's just a metaphor, I'm just psycho
I go a little bit crazy sometimes
I get a little bit out of control with my rhymes
Good God, dip, do a little slide
Bend down, touch your toes, and just glide
Up the center of the dance floor
Like TP for my bung-hole
And it's cool if you let one go
Nobody's gonna know, who'd hear it?
Give a little poot-poot, it's okay
Oops, my CD just skipped
And everyone just heard you let one rip
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance, yeah, boy, shake that ass
Whoops, I mean girl, girl, girl, girl
Girl, you know you're my world
Alright, now lose it (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Just lose it (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Go crazy (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Oh, baby (Ah-ah), oh, baby, baby (Ah-ah)
Dec 18, 2020
[Post-Chorus]
Well, it's Friday and it's my day
Just to party all the way 'til Sunday
Maybe 'til Monday, I don't know what day
Every day's just a holiday
Cruisin' on the freeway, feelin' kinda breezy
Let the top down and my hair blow
I don't know where I'm goin', all I know is
When I get there someone's gonna touch my body
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2]
'Scuse me, miss, I don't mean to sound like a jerk
But I'm feelin' just a little stressed out from work
Could you punch me in the stomach and pull my hair?
Spit on me? Maybe gouge my eyes out? (Yeah)
Now, what's your name, girl? What's your sign?
Man, you must be up out your mind
Dre (Ah-ah), beer goggles, blind
I'm just tryin' to unwind, now I'm
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance, yeah, boy, shake that ass
Whoops, I mean girl, girl, girl, girl
Girl, you know you're my world
Alright, now lose it (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Just lose it (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Go crazy (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Oh, baby (Ah-ah), oh, baby, baby (Ah-ah)
Dec 18, 2020
[Post-Chorus]
Well, it's Tuesday and I'm locked up
I'm in jail and I don't know what happened
They say I was runnin' butt-naked
Down the street screamin' (Ah-ah-ah-ah)
Your honor, I'm sorry, I don't remember
All I know is this much, I'm not guilty
They said, "Save it, boy, we got you on tape"
Yellin' at an old lady to touch my body
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3]
Now this is the part where the rap breaks down
It gets real intense, no one makes a sound
Everything looks like it's 8 Mile now
The beat comes back and everybody lose themselves
Now snap back to reality look, it's B. Rabbit
Yo, you signed me up to battle? I'm a grown man
Chubba-chubba-chubba-chubba-chubba-chubba-chubby
I don't have any lines to go right here, so chubba-Teletubby
Fellas (What?) Fellas (What?)
Grab your left nut, make your right one jealous (What?)
Black girls, white girls, skinny girls, fat girls
Tall girls, small girls, I'm calling all girls
Everyone report to the dance floor
It's your chance for a little romance or
Butt squeezin', it's the season
Just go (Ah-ah-ah-ah), so appeasin'
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Now I'm gonna make you dance
It's your chance, yeah, boy, shake that ass
Whoops, I mean girl, girl, girl, girl
Girl, you know you're my world
Alright, now lose it (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Just lose it (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Go crazy (Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah)
Oh, baby (Ah-ah), oh, baby, baby (Ah-ah)
Dec 18, 2020
[Outro]
Touch my body
Touch my body
Oh boy, just touch my body
I mean girl, just touch my body
Dec 18, 2020
Rain Man
Dec 18, 2020
Do fack again
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro: Eminem]
Yeah
Definitely, definitely
Definitely dope
Definitely
Definitely K-Mart
Yeah, yeah (*fart*)
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1: Eminem]
You find me offensive
I find you offensive for finding me offensive
Hence, if I should draw out or line any fences
If so, to what extent, if any, should I go?
'Cause it's getting expensive
Being on the other side of the courtroom on the defensive
They say I cause extensive
Psychological nerve damage to the brain
When I go to lengths this far at other people's expenses
I say you're all just too goddamn sensitive
It's censorship and it's downright blasphemous
Let's end this shit now 'cause I won't stand for this
And Christopher Reeves won't sit for this neither
And let's clear this up too, I ain't got no beef with him either
He used to be like a hero to me, I even believe I
Had one of those 25 cent stickers on my refrigerator
Right next to Darth Vader
And Darth must've put a hex on him for later
I feel like it's my fault 'cause of the way that
I stuck him up in between him and Lex Luthor
I killed Superman, I killed Super-man
And how ironic
That I'd be the bad guy, krypt
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem]
'Cause I ain't got no legs
Or no brain
Nice to meet you
Hi, my name is...
I forgot my name
My aim was not to become what I became
With this level of fame
My soul is possessed by this devil
My new name is Rain Man
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2: Eminem (Dr. Dre)]
Now in the bible, it says
Thou shalt not watch two lesbians in bed
Have homosexual sex
Unless of course you were given the consent to join in
Then of course it's intercourse and it's bisexual sex
Which isn't as bad
Long as you show some remorse for your actions
Either before, during, or after
Performing the act of that which
Is normally referred to as such more commonly known phrases
That are more used by today's kids in a more derogatory way
But who's to say what's fair to say and what not to say?
Let's ask Dr. Dre
Dr. Dre (What up?) I got a question if I may (Yeah)
Is it gay to play putt-putt golf with a friend (Yeah)
And watch his butt butt when he tees off (Yeah)
But, but, I ain't done yet
In football the quarterback yells out, "Hut-hut"
While he reaches in another grown man's ass
Grabs on his nuts but just what if
It was never meant, it was just an accident
But he tripped, fell, slipped, and his penis went in
His teeny tiny little round hiney and he did
Dec 18, 2020
he didn't mean it
But his little weenie flinched just a little bit
And I don't need to go into any more details, but
What if he pictured it as a female's butt
Is that gay? I just need to clear things up
'Til then, I'll just walk around with a manly strut because
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem]
'Cause I ain't got no legs
Or no brain
Nice to meet you
Hi, my name is...
I forgot my name
My aim was not to become what I became
With this level of fame
My soul is possessed by this devil
My new name is Rain Man
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3: Eminem (Dr. Dre)]
You find me offensive, I find you offensive
Shit, this is the same verse, I just did this
When am I gonna come to my good senses?
Probably the day Bush comes to my defenses
My spider sense is telling me Spider-Man is nearby
And my plan is to get him next
And open up a whoop ass canister
Goddammit Dre, where's the goddamn beat? (Yeah)
Anyway, anyway, I don't know how else to put it
This is the only thing that I'm good at
I am the bad guy, kryptonite, the green chronic
Demonic, yup, yup, don't worry, I'm on it
I got it, high-five Nick Lachey
Stuck a pin in Jessica's head and walked away
And as she flew around the room like a balloon, I
Grabbed the last can of chicken tuna out the trash can
And zoomed, I headed straight back to the Neverland Ranch
With a peanut butter jelly chicken tuna sandwich
And I ain't even gotta make no goddamn sense
I just did a whole song and I didn't say shit
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem]
'Cause I ain't got no legs
Or no brain
Nice to meet you
Hi, my name is...
I forgot my name
My aim was not to become what I became
With this level of fame
My soul is possessed by this devil
My new name is Rain Man
Dec 18, 2020
[Outro: Eminem & Dr. Dre]
'Cause...
Yup, Rain Man
Definitely, definitely Dr. Dre
Super-dope beatmaker
2000 and, 2400 and 87 million, 900 and se-73,400 and 63... and 70
Yeah
Dec 18, 2020
i hate myself
Dec 18, 2020
Nice Guy
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Jessie Reyez]
You're such a nice guy, a nice guy
You're faithful, you don't lie
After the club, you go back home, right?
Right? Sike
Dec 18, 2020
[Post-Chorus: Jessie Reyez]
Suck my dick, you fuckin' suck, man
Suck my dick, you fuckin' suck, man
I hope that your heart get hit by a semi-truck
Suck my dick, you fuckin' suck, man
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1: Jessie Reyez]
I hop in your whip and take a sip, then I gun it
I don't, I don't got much self-control, I hope that you runnin'
I'm bipolar with the switch-up just as quick, like you cummin'
I don't, I don't got much self-control, I hope that you runnin'
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2: Eminem]
I'm not a cheater, but if I'ma be accused, might as well be
You tell me you'll take me back when Hell freezes, but females be Rushin' me outside my telly, temptation overwhelms me
Like my monthly bill from Sprint, they chargin' me for a selfie
Chargin' me, so I gave my hotel key
Uh, I was tryna be nice
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Jessie Reyez & Eminem]
You're such a nice guy, a nice guy
You're faithful, you don't lie
After the club, you go back home, right?
Right? Sike
Dec 18, 2020
[Post-Chorus: Jessie Reyez & Eminem]
Suck my dick, you fuckin' suck, bitch
Suck my dick, (Bi-) you fuckin' suck, man
I hope that your heart get hit by a semi-truck (Bi-)
Suck my dick, you fuckin' suck, bitch
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3: Jessie Reyez]
I play your music while you suffer like I'm Carmine Coppola
Got you tied up in the basement while I chill on your sofa
La próxima yo sé que mejor me quedo sola
Estás de buenas que yo ya vendí mi pistola
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 4: Eminem]
I'm an emotional wreck, weak (Uh-huh)
Everything over-affects me (Yeah)
When you joke, it upsets me (Yeah)
You say I'm no good at sex
And you think I'm gross and unsexy (Uh-huh)
I need Scope 'cause my breath stinks (Yep)
You hope I choke on a Pepsi (Yep)
Bitch, you was supposed to correct me (Oh)
Been textin' you since three, I still get no fucking reply
You say you sleep alone, but yet your mattress is king size
Fuck you goin' in those knee-high boots? Cut it out, bitch
I doubt that you're goin' to house sit
In that outfit, and those skin-tight Levi's
Every word that comes out your mouth's a fucking lie
Oh, it's springtime, time for you to have a fling like a slingshot
You say don't come over 'cause you got pink eye
But I think I got just the thing
Why don't I bring my fuckin' bat and just swing by?
Dec 18, 2020
NOT NICE GUY! SUCK MY DICK YOU FUCKING SUCK MAN!
Dec 18, 2020
My Mom
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro]
Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Okay
Alright, a'ight, a'ight, a'ight, a'ight
Yo, yo
Alright, I'ma lay the chorus first
Here we go now
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1]
My mom, my mom, I know you're probably tired
Of hearin' 'bout my mom, oh-ho, whoa-ho
But this is just a story of when I was just a shorty
And how I became hooked on Va-aliu-um
Valium was in everything, food that I ate
The water that I drank, fuckin' peas in my plate
She sprinkled just enough of it to season my steak
So every day I'd have at least three stomachaches
Now tell me, what kind of mother would want to see her
Son grow up to be an undera-fuckin'-chiever?
My teacher didn't think I was gonna be nothin' either
"What the fuck you stickin' gum up under the fuckin' seat for?"
"Mrs. Mathers, your son has been huffin' ether
Either that or the motherfucker's been puffin' reefer"
But all this huffin' and puffin' wasn't what it was either
It was neither, I was buzzin' but it wasn't what she thought
Pee in a teacup? Bitch, you ain't my keeper, I'm sleepin'
What the fuck you keep on fuckin' with me for?
Slut, you need to leave me the fuck alone, I ain't playin'
Go find you a whit
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2]
Wait a minute, this ain't dinner, this is paint thinner
"You ate it yesterday, I ain't hear no complaints, did I?
Now here's a plate full of painkillers, now just wait
'Til I crush the Valium and put it in your potatoes
You little motherfucker, I'll make you sit there and make
That retarded fuckin' face without even tastin' it
You better lick the fuckin' plate, you ain't wastin' it
Put your face in it 'fore I throw you in the basement again
And I ain't givin' in, you're gonna just sit there
In one fuckin' place, finnickin' 'til next Thanksgiving
And if you still ain't finished it, I'll use the same shit again
Then when I make spinach dip it'll be placed in the shit
You little shit, wanna sit there and play innocent?
A rack fell and hit me in K-Mart and they witnessed it
Child support, your father, he ain't sent the shit
And so what if he did? It's none of your dang business, kid"
Dec 18, 2020
[Bridge 1]
My mom
There's no one else quite like my mom
I know I should let bygones be bygones
But she's the reason why I am high on what I'm high on
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
'Cause my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
Dec 18, 2020
[Bridge 2]
My mom loved Valium, now all I am
Is a party animal, I am what I am
But I'm strong to the finish with me Valium spinach
But my buzz only lasts about two minutes
But I don't wanna swallow it without chewin' it
I can't even write a rhyme without you in it
My Valium, my Vaaaaaa-liummmm, ohh
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3]
Man, I never thought that I could ever be
A drug addict, naw, fuck that, I can't have it happen to me
But that's actually what has ended up happenin'
A tragedy, the fuckin' past ended up catchin' me
And it's probably where I got acquainted with the taste, ain't it?
Pharmaceuticals are the bomb, Mom, beautiful
She killed the fuckin' dog with the medicine she done fed it
Feed it a fuckin' aspirin and say that it has a headache
"Here, want a snack? You hungry, you fuckin' brat?
Look at that, it's a Xanax, take it and take a nap, eat it"
But I don't need it — "Well fuck it then, break it up
Take a little piece and beat it before you wake Nathan up"
Alright Ma, you win, I don't feel like arguin'
I'll do it, pop it, gobble it and start wobblin'
Stumble, hobble, tumble, slip, trip, then I fall in bed
With a bottle of meds and a Heath Ledger bobblehead
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
My mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I am like I am 'cause I'm like her
Because my mom loved Valium and lots of drugs
That's why I'm on what I'm on 'cause I'm my mom
Dec 18, 2020
[Outro]
My mom, I'm just like her
My mom, my mom, my mom
My mom, my mom, my mom
My mom, my mom, my mom
My mom, my momma
Me momma, I like-a da momma
Haha, sorry Mom
I still love you though
Dr. Dre, 2010
Hey, this shit is hella hard, homie
Yo, take us on outta here
Woo!
Dec 18, 2020
We Made You
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro: Eminem]
Guess who? D'you miss me?
Jessica Simpson, sing the chorus!
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Charmagne Tripp & Eminem]
When you walked through the door (Woo!)
It was clear to me (Clear to me)
You’re the one they adore
Who they came to see (Who they came to see)
You’re a rock star (Baby) (Yeah)
Everybody wants you (Everybody wants you)
Player, who can really blame you? (Who can really blame you?)
We’re the ones who made you
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1: Eminem]
Ahem, back by popular demand
Now pop a little Zantac for antacid if you can
You're ready to tackle any task that is at hand?
How does it feel? Is it fantastic? Is it grand?
Well, look at all the massive masses in the stands
"Shady, man, no, don't massacre the fans!"
Damn, I think Kim Kardashian's a man
She stomped him, just ‘cause he asked to put his hands
On her massive gluteus maximus again
Squeeze it, then squish it, then pass it to a friend
Can he come back as nasty as he can?
Yes, he can-can; don't ask me this again
He does not mean to lesbian offend
But Lindsay, please come back to seeing men
Samantha's a 2; you're practically a 10
I know you want me, girl, in fact, I see you grin
Now come in, girl
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Charmagne Tripp & Eminem]
When you walked through the door (Woo!)
It was clear to me (Clear to me)
You’re the one they adore
Who they came to see (Who they came to see)
You’re a rock star (Baby)
Everybody wants you (Everybody wants you)
Player, who can really blame you? (Who can really blame you?)
We’re the ones who made you
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2: Eminem]
The enforcer, looking for more women to torture
Walk up to the cutest girl and charley-horse her
Sorry, Portia, but what's Ellen DeGeneres
Have that I don't? Are you telling me tenderness?
Well, I can be as gentle and as smooth as a gentleman
Give me my Ventolin inhaler and two Xenadrine
And I'll invite Sarah Palin out to dinner, then
Nail her, baby, say hello to my little friend!
Brit, forget K-Fed, let's cut off the middleman
Forget him or you're gonna end up in the hospital again
And this time it won't be for the Ritalin binge
Forget them other men, girl, pay them little attention
And little did I mention that Jennifer's in
Love with me, John Mayer, so sit on the bench
Man, I swear them other guys, you give 'em an inch
They take a mile; they got style, but it isn't Slim
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Charmagne Tripp & Eminem]
When you walked through the door (Woo!)
It was clear to me (Clear to me)
You’re the one they adore
Who they came to see (Who they came to see)
You’re a rock star (Baby)
Everybody wants you (Everybody wants you)
Player, who can really blame you? (Who can really blame you?)
We’re the ones who made you
Dec 18, 2020
[Bridge: Eminem]
And that's why, my love
You'll never live without
I know you want me, girl
'Cause I can see you checking me out
And baby, you know
You know you want me too
Don't try to deny it, baby
I'm the only one for you (*fart*)
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3: Eminem]
Damn, girl, I'm beginning to sprout an Alfalfa
Why should I wash my filthy mouth out?
You think that's bad, you should hear the rest of my album
Never has there been such finesse and nostalgia
Man, Cash, I don't mean to mess with your gal, but
Jessica Alba put her breasts on my mouth (Blup!)
Wowzers! I just made a mess in my trousers
And they wonder why I keep dressing like Elvis
"Lord, help us, he's back in his pink Alf shirt
Looking like someone shrinked his outfit!"
I think he's 'bout to flip, Jessica
Rest assured Superman's here to rescue ya
Can you blame me? You're my Amy, I'm your Blake
Matter of fact, bake me a birthday cake
With a saw blade in it to make my jailbreak
Baby, I think you just met your soulmate
Now break it down, girl
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Charmagne Tripp & Eminem]
When you walked through the door (Woo!)
It was clear to me (Clear to me)
You’re the one they adore
Who they came to see (Who they came to see)
You’re a rock star (Baby)
Everybody wants you (Everybody wants you)
Player, who can really blame you? (Who can really blame you?)
We’re the ones who made you
Dec 18, 2020
U crazy
Dec 18, 2020
[Outro: Eminem]
So baby
Baby, get down, down, down
Baby, get down, down, down
Baby, get down, down, down
Baby, get down, get down
Baby, get down, down, down
Baby, get down, down, down
Baby, get down, down, down
Baby, get down, get down
Oh Amy! Rehab never looked so good!
I can't wait, I'm going back
Ha-ha, woo!
Dr. Dre! 2020!
Yeah!
Dec 18, 2020
@PaperPrincess

i know
Dec 18, 2020
Untouchable
Dec 18, 2020
Pt. I

[Intro]
Hands up, officer don’t shoot
Then pull your pants up, promise you won't loot
We may never understand each other, it’s no use
We ain’t ever gonna grasp what each other goes through
Dec 18, 2020
Verse 1]
Black boy, black boy, we ain't gonna lie to you
Black boy, black boy, we don't like the sight of you
Pull up on the side of you
Window rolled down, 'profile'
Then we wonder why we see this side of you
Probably comin' from the dope house
We could let you slide but your tail light is blew, out
We know you're hidin' that Heidi Klum
On you another drug charge, homie, it's back inside for you
And just in case a chase might ensue, we got that tried and true
Pistol drew right at you, we'd be delighted to unload it
In your back, then walk up and lay that taser on the side of you
Fucked up, but what the fuck am I to do?
I keep tellin' myself, keep doin' like you're doin'
No matter how many lives you ruin
It's for the red, white and blue
Time to go find a new one and split his head right in two
No one's ever indicted you
Why? 'Cause you're a...
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem & Cheech and Chong]
White boy, white boy, you're a rockstar
My momma talkin' to me, tryna tell me how to live
White boy, white boy, in your cop car
But I don't listen to her, 'cause my head is like a sieve
White boy, white boy, you're untouchable
The world's coming to an end, I don't even care
Nobody can tell me shit 'cause I'm a big rockstar
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2]
Black boy, black boy, we don't get your culture and
We don't care what our government's done to fuck you over, man
Don't tell us your attitude's a result of that
Balderdash, where’d you get the chip on your shoulder at?
Why you kicking that soda can?
Pull your pants up, we 'bout to roll up and
Throw your ass in the van cuffed
You don't have to know our plans or what our intentions are
Our cards are close to our chest, you better show your hands
And put our minds more at ease
Or get shot in the thyroid, comply or die, boy
We're fightin' a crime war, here come the swine
Tryna clean up the streets from all these minorities
That's what we call 'em pigsties for
They're like eyesores to police
Talk to you like just a piece of trash
Feels like we're stuck in a time warp to me
As I kick these facts and get these mixed reactions
As this beat backspins, it's like we're drifting back in
To the sixties, having black skin is risky
'Cause this keeps happening
Throughout history, African-Am
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem & Cheech and Chong]
White boy, white boy, you're a rockstar
My momma talkin' to me, tryna tell me how to live
White boy, white boy, in your cop car
But I don't listen to her, 'cause my head is like a sieve
White boy, white boy, you're untouchable
The world's coming to an end, I don't even care
Nobody can tell me shit 'cause I'm a big rockstar
Dec 18, 2020
Pt. II

[Verse 3]
Seems like the average lifespan of a white man
Is more than twice than a black life span
I wonder sometimes if it has a price scanner
I feel like checking out on life, can't escape this circumstance
I'd rather hear 'em say "Die N-word" than Die Antwoord
Ninja, now it's better disguised banter
But that's life, strapped 'cause we're strapped financially
And can't find answers
We're applying, but McDonald's
Seems to be the only franchise that'll hire
So how can we have higher standards?
As Dallas overshadows the battle for Black Lives Matter
We fight back with violence but acts like that are
Black eyes on the movement
Which makes black lives madder
At cops and cops madder
That's why it's at a stalemate
And can't arrive at a compromise so it's Black Ops
Dec 18, 2020
I wonder if we hire more black cops, the crap stops
The block is our backyards, officers, not the crack spot
Call the attack dogs off of us, man
You always act all pissed off at us at a traffic stop
And bad cops fuck it up for the good cops, and man, stop
Sendin' white cops in the black neighborhoods
Who ain't acclimated to 'em, like that's the way to do it
Who seen some fuckin' videos of rappers waving guns
And know nobody black so they act afraid of us
And that's racism, the fear that a black face gives 'em
A subconscious racist
Wait, why are there black neighborhoods?
'Cause America segregated us, designated us to an area
Separated us, Section-Eight'd us
When we tear it up’s the only time attention’s paid to us
And education sucks, and every day's another
Freddie Gray for us, a levy breaks or fuzz
Why is it they treat us like dryer lint?
We just want a safe environment for our kids
But can’t escape the sirens
Don’t take a scientist to see our violent nature lies in
The poverty that
Dec 18, 2020
"But you kill each other, facts
You peel each other's caps, for silly stuff like hats”
Single mother strugglin’ through substance abuse
While people with nothin' to lose shoot each other for shoes
Fuck your Republican views
Pull ourselves up by our bootstraps, where the fuck are the boots?
And streets act as a narrator, don't gotta read comics
Or be that into characters, just to see that, just to be black
You better be strapped with a derringer
Or be “capped in America” like Steve Rogers
'Cause no one oversees these cops and
All we see is 'em beat charges
We done seen 'em beat Rodney King unconscious, and got off
So we don't need all you crooked police officers' peace offerings
Just keep marchin', 'til we reach congress
But they're gonna say you're tryin' to take an irrational stance
If you try to slander the flag but
Somebody has to be the sacrificial lamb
So they call it a Kaepernick tantrum
If you don't stand for the national anthem
We raise it, you better praise it
Or you'll be mad
Dec 18, 2020
Or you'll be made to feel like a traitor, we'll
Treat you like Rodney Dangerfield
Home of the brave is still racist 'ville
So this whole nation feels like a plantation field
In a country that claims that its foundation was based on United States ideals
That had its Natives killed
Got you singin' this star-spangled spiel
To a piece of cloth that represents the "Land of the Free" that made people slaves to build
Dec 18, 2020
@CLJesse

will do 👍
Dec 18, 2020
Offended
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1: Eminem]
You claim if you get knocked by the cops
You'll give 'em not even a statement
Walk in the arraignment
Shoot the bailiff, karate kick the plaintiff
Gotti with the stainless
I'll just call it shoddy entertainment
If y'all was in the party gettin' faded
On molly, had the audience sedated
You wouldn't catch a body if it fainted
Probably let it fall and hit the pavement
But you'd be the first lobbyin' to claim it
Bitch, stop bein' a lame
Your hobby isn’t robbery and dismemberin' body limbs
Like you was Tommy Lynn Sells
And chainsawin' them in the basement
Hardly fits your job description, ain't nobody dippin'
Out the back of the club like, "Oh my God, he's trippin'!"
Only time you get the blade is
Probably with the dang lawn equipment, ain't it?
Wouldn't take a bobby pin and wave it
I need to stop bein' debated
You're still copyin', Xeroxing
I'm still coppin' a feel
Like Bill Cosby at will, poppin' a pill
Then spill Oxys in Jill's coffee
Dec 18, 2020
Then send her out to the hotel lobby
A lil' wobbly and still groggy
This blond fuck's reprehensible
Misconducts, never sensible
Kiss my butt, my set of principles
Is gone, but 'til I get the President to respond
My pen and pencil is a missile launcher
And Senator Mitch McConnell’s
Just as big of a bitch as Donald—
Shit's on, bruh! (Ha-ha)
Let me sing this shit soprano
While I do it pizzicato
Ivanka, stiff-arm her while I'm hittin' on Melania
And this song's for all ya
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem & Kent Jones]
'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me
They want me to go eat some worms (I hope you offended)
And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt
But I'ma make you eat your words (I hope you offended)
You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up
'Cause you're only gonna make things worse (I hope you offended)
'Cause I swear when I get up, I'm never gonna let up
'Til everybody eats my turds
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2: Eminem & Paul Rosenberg]
These drums and hard snares bring out the worst in me
Like Justin Ross Harris at a nursery
Goin' ham at candy yam
On nanny cam, I'm gettin' handies with the zanny Xannys
In the Caddy armrest, I'm imaginin' objects
So I'm battin' cobwebs from a daddy longleg
In Hamtramck
Got the panoramic camera
Xanax, a banana hammock and a Santa hat
I'm smellin' like a damn mechanic
With a chick that looks like Janet Jackson with a Spanish accent
Twice her age and I'm actin' half it (Ha-ha)
Grow up?
Nah, not that I know of, y'all
Basement just got a frickin' overhaul
Got a stripper pole installed
Started rollin' all through those Klonopins
Like a bowlin' ball
Like an overdose on twice the ratio of Propofol
And go through no withdrawal
While I get fellatio and give a facial to
An interracial blow-up doll of Rachel Dolezal
You're so appalled (Em…)
So's my manager
Bitch, I amateur, fuck a pro career
Dec 18, 2020
Coast is clear, but nowhere to go from here
And nobody's close so don't compare
They ain't nowhere near, I'm way over here
My competition can't see me—
'Cause I don't own a mirror!
But, Marshall, you are terrific
So smart and gifted
I'm so narcissistic, when I fart I sniff it
Do a fake dab to smell my armpits, whiff it
Your anxiety's throwin' gang signs
But I made strides with these rape lines
I'm cuttin' back on women hate crimes
Like Ray Rice when he FaceTimes
Bang, bang, bang, bang time
Dang knives're butcher than gay wives
You're gonna need sutures the same size
As the blade I push into caput'cha
When I pull 'em like (What?) sleigh rides
Gotta stab a bitch at least eight times
To make it on Dateline
I came to stake my claim like a canine
Waitin' in a buffet line
So, Kellyanne Conway
I'm a really bad hombre
Come play, belly dance on me
I've been makin' wedding plans all day
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem & Kent Jones]
'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me
They want me to go eat some worms (I hope you offended)
And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt
But I'ma make you eat your words (I hope you offended)
You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up
'Cause you're only gonna make things worse (I hope you offended)
'Cause I swear when I get up, I'm never gonna let up
'Til everybody eats my turds
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3: Eminem]
Eight-year-old with the wordplay
Girl, take this pole like a survey
Today wasn't my birthday
But I'm caked up like a dessert tray
So we're in shape
'Cause you're in a slurrin' state
I’m a 10, you’re an eight (Urinate)
Like what I do before, after, and durin' rape!
You wanna get into a pissin' contest
And find out who's better?
And be made a fool out of when I pull on 'em?
R. Kelly with a full bladder (R. Kelly with a full bladder)
Non-high school grad, I'm not a scholar
But I'm so cold when I'm droppin' knowledge
My degrees is the same as I got in college (Zero)
But nobody's hotter, you owe me my respect
I owe you nada like Haloti, partner
Blow me, told you I'm so dirty, homie, you can throw me
In some holy water, with some floaties on
And get the soap and try to get the Pope to hold me
While you hose me off and, nope, I won't be washed
You hope to God I don't explode
I gotta blow this spot up though, I got a lotta mo'
I won't put the sugar coating on it though
Dec 18, 2020
'Cause sometimes you can feel like your energy's expired
Rap's got you drained
Dead tired, zapped
You feel like a wet pile of crap
But look, man, like the feds buggin' my phone (Uh-huh)
I get why you're tapped
"But you gotta get your fire back
Catch fire, get upset and fire back!"
Is what I tell myself
When times get bad
'Cause sometimes I might get sad
But I take the same advice I had
And tell myself like I used to tell Hailie
When life's a drag
Told her to do like her dad:
Don't cry, get mad!
'Cause little baby powders
Belong in diaper bags
Dec 18, 2020
I'm hyper, by the time you see this side of me
I'm right in your ass (Sodomy!)
Foot up it, I stood up for the kid
Who had to put up with the bullies at his school (At his school)
You ain't had to have no money
Or go shoppin' just to cop a fuckin' attitude (Attitude)
Now my dough's amountin' to a mountain
That's rised too high to count it
Never asked to be rich, all I did was wish
I had a dime for every time that I was doubted
But then I think about it, then I'm enraged
'Cause I just figured out that if I was paid
For the time I spent to put the pen to the page
It'd be minimum wage (Minimum wage)
But it's embedded in my head I never hunted for the bread and butter
What I wanted was to be the one that they was scared of but
I'm never gonna get the credit for the sweat and blood
I put up in the pen, and when I'm dead I wonder
Will they put me on a pedestal or forget I was ever this incredible?
I guess I better go harder than ever 'cause
I'll never get another motherfuckin' opportunity aga
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem & Kent Jones]
'Cause nobody likes me, everybody hates me
They want me to go eat some worms (I hope you offended)
And drag my name through the mud, through the dirt
But I'ma make you eat your words (I hope you offended)
You can try to hold me down, but you better let me up
'Cause you're only gonna make things worse (I hope you offended)
'Cause I swear when I get up, I'm never gonna let up
'Til everybody eats my turds
Dec 18, 2020
Heat
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro: John C. Reilly]
Wanna take it from the top?
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1: Eminem]
Lady, you remind me of my raps on that Relapse shit
'Cause you got an ass thick as them accents
Two ass-cheek implants, call that an asset
'Cause you could set a glass on it, it's massive
From the first time I saw you, I actually
Said to myself: "I gotta meet her" like a taxi
Exactly, love affair in the backseat
Sorry if I'm being graphic
But I'm stiff as a statue you sat on a shelf
I feel like I'ma bust, maybe I'm just ahead of myself
Let me slow down, slow your Camaro
I'm tryna catch up, I'm tryna jump your bones to the marrow
Got me under your control and your spell
Wanna wrap you up, put you in a bow like an arrow
Grab you by the (Meow!), hope it's not a problem, in fact
About the only thing I agree on with Donald is that
So when I put this palm on your cat
Don't snap, it's supposed to get grabbed
Why you think they call it a snatch?
I just wanna climb in the sack
I'ma keep it a hundred like my speedometer's at
I'm watchin' you rap, I'm the dude followin' back
Dec 18, 2020
About six cars, I'm in the 'lac, and I wanna fack
Dec 18, 2020
[Pre-Chorus: Eminem]
All day, all day, all night
You ask, I'll stay the night
With you, you say you're fire
Me too, you're burning up
I want it—
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Mark Wahlberg (& John C. Reilly)]
All day, all night
You feel, my heat (Fire)
Feel, feel, feel, feel, feel
My heat
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2: Eminem]
Hate to inconvenience you at the convenience store
But them jeans you wore are like I've never seen before
I pretend I work there while I clean the floor
Checkin' you out like the clerk while he rings you up
Pull out behind you when you're leavin'
And you don't even know it (Word, yo Rick, man!)
She's brushin' her hair, adjustin' her mirror
She's rappin' my shit, but she wasn't aware
I was there, or maybe she was and just didn't care
Who knows? At least that ain't up in the air for some to see
So like a chick who thinks her coochie don't stink
If she ain't plannin' to do shit this summer's eve
Maybe she wants to keep me company
Dec 18, 2020
But fuck the Pepé Le Pew shit!
"Ain't steppin' to you, bitch," I say to myself
Plus she's bumpin' my music, ain't chasin' no tail like a skunk in heat
I could sweat her to some degree
But fuck it, I'm the male, let her come to me
(Could you repeat that again?)
"Letter" come to me—"mail." "Sweater", "heat," "some degree." Fail
Fuck it, pull up beside her
Sideswipe her Dodge Viper, wood is so bright
I ask does she want a computer lodged in her vagina
Said my dick is an apple, she said put it inside her
I said—
Dec 18, 2020
[Pre-Chorus: Eminem]
All day, all day, all night
You ask, I'll stay the night
With you, you say you're fire
Me too, you're burning up
I want it—
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Mark Wahlberg (& John C. Reilly)]
All day, all night
You feel, my heat (Fire)
Feel, feel, feel, feel, feel
My heat
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3: Eminem]
Black out, come to, hands covered in blood
Motherfuckin' gloves and a shovel stuck in the mud
I just bodied the beat, so that hole musta been dug
'Cause it just died like food coloring (Duh!)
So let's get turnt like a shish kabab
Twist it, ma, like an air-conditioning knob
We'd be great together
Don't care if it takes forever
If I gotta wait, I guess it's better late than never
You felt my heat rubbin' off on ya
I love your personality, come on, little mama
You're hot enough to melt Rick's beat, come jump in the water
I bet you get your self-esteem from your persona
With an ass to match, girl
Your body is lit, you're striking, I'm a gas
Girl, you're just gonna have to put them other chumps on the back burner
Dec 18, 2020
You got buns, I got Asperger's
Just let me rest my head between that set of D's
While I shred MC's like cheddar cheese
That's just the thoroughbred in me, ain't a better breed
My dog thinks so too—look at my pedigree! (Roof!)
Ma, the world is what I think of you
I think you're divine, so I might swing on you
I'm just kiddin', girl, I wouldn't lift a finger, too
Unless it's the middle one to finger you
Dec 18, 2020
[Pre-Chorus: Eminem]
All day, all day, all night
You ask, I'll stay the night
With you, you say you're fire
Me too, you're burning up
I want it—
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Mark Wahlberg & John C. Reilly]
Feel, feel, feel, feel, feel
My heat
Dec 18, 2020
[Outro: Eminem & Mark Wahlberg]
On the ones and twos, to three or four in the mornin'
Rick's on the cut like Neosporin (Girls!)
He's mixin' it up for me, and you're in
A teddy like short for Theodore
We're outtie, five thousand
I wanna fuck, it's my big dick
So everybody get ready fucking now!
Dec 18, 2020
Almost there Parthony you only need 277
Dec 18, 2020
i want to die
Dec 18, 2020
Those Kinda Nights
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro: Bizarre & Ed Sheeran]
Damn, girl, with your sexy ass, haha
Let me holla at you
D.A. got that dope
It's one of those kinda nights
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1: Eminem, Ed Sheeran, & Bizarre]
Yes, this beat’s takin' me back to my D12 days
When we hit the club to go and hell-raise
Probably end up baggin' the cocktail waitress
And takin’ her straight back to the Motel-8
Yeah, Bizarre's tryna get a lap dance
Off a Xanax and Jack Dan' (Ayo)
Stripper walk by, I'm like "Goddamn"
She's like "That's harassment," I'm like "Yeah, and?" (Woo)
Holy Toledo, it's Miss Ohio
That’s the best ass I’ve seen in a while
We should be datin', she’s from Cleveland
But she's a bengal, this chick is catty
Is that a mini-skirt if it's a maxi?
That's the shortest thing for a dress since an addy (Since an addy)
She said "Fuck off" and threw her liquor at me
It’s one of those kinda nights
Then I said, I said
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Ed Sheeran]
If you wanna go hard tonight
Well then, the smoke and the bottle are on me, ah
Slip into that red dress you like
When we arrive, we probably won't leave, ah
I love the way you move like that
When you push your body on mine, oh my
You wanna smoke, drink, dance until the sunrise
It's one of those kinda nights
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2: Eminem]
This beat keeps takin' me back like my ex does
Only 'cause how good the sex was
Hit up the next club, met Alexa
But she was so extra, called her et cetera
Had her like, "Oh my God
My whole iPod's filled with your songs, I mow my lawn to 'em"
I said, "Oh my God, you know my songs?
That's totally awesome, I'm Marshall, what's goin' on? Ah (Haha)
Seriously though, jokes aside, how you doin'? You straight?"
She said, "No, I'm bi"
She said, "Are you drunk?," I said, "No, I'm high
I'm checkin' out the chick," she said, "So am I"
"What's in the cup, let me see that
Girl, where the rest of that promethazine at?"
She said, "Cool, gotta run out to my Cadillac though
And I'll be like Fat Joe, and bring the lean back"
Then I said
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Ed Sheeran]
If you wanna go hard tonight
Well then, the smoke and the bottle are on me, ah
Slip into that red dress you like
When we arrive, we probably won't leave, ah
I love the way you move like that
When you push your body on mine, oh my
You wanna smoke, drink, dance until the sunrise
It's one of those kinda—
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3: Eminem]
OMG
Like the gas in the tank, she's gettin' low on me
Said she wants to go with me
I said, "Go with you where?" She said, "Out"
I said, "I'm a candle, I'll go out if you blow on me"
Walk her out to the parkin' lot, here comes Da Brigade
Turn like a flip page, Swifty look shitfaced
Say peace to McVay and me and this chick take off like a sick day
Drivin' around, I said, "Let's pull over," she said, "No problemo"
Windows are dark tint, roll up the car windows
Monte Carlo in park, bumpin' Bizarre's demo
Gettin' head in the bucket, Marshmello
Yeah, I never in the club met a woman worth knowin'
But if you're ho'in
Opposites attract, I'm someone, you're a no one
I'm high and you're bi, I'm comin', you're goin'
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Ed Sheeran]
If you wanna go hard tonight
Well then, the smoke and the bottle are on me, ah
Slip into that red dress you like
When we arrive, we probably won't leave, ah
I love the way you move like that
When you push your body on mine, oh my
You wanna smoke, drink, dance until the sunrise
It's one of those kinda nights
Dec 18, 2020
Stepdad
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro]
Ayo
(This a song about)
My, my stepdad
(Let's see if this ever happened to you)
I, I hate
My, my stepdad
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1]
One thing that sticks in my craw
When I was six and I saw my stepfather hittin' my Ma
Socked her right in her eyeball
I'm startin' to think I'm psychotic
With all the pictures I draw of
Shit that I've already witnessed, it’s probably twisted my thoughts
All I can hear is drama with Mom and him
I can always hear 'em arguin' down the hallways
The walls are thin so the noise is startin' to feel like the norm
Our dog pissed on the carpet, he stomped it so hard
Doctors had to put it down
He killed my chihuahua, this motherfucker!
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
I, I, hate
My, my stepdad (Stepdad)
So tonight I'm sayin', "Bye-bye stepdad" (Stepdad)
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2]
Outside, I look like I'm calm
Inside, I'm a tickin' time bomb
'Cause of this motherfucker, who sticks his dick in my mom (My mom)
Last night, he said I left the kitchen light on
But he walked in there this morning and purposely flipped it, I saw him
Hickory switch to my bottom, I counted sixty-nine times
He swatted me with it, I'd cry
He just started hittin' me harder
God, I wish I could just jaw him
If I could get my weight up
But I'm just a second grader
This prick is bigger than I am
But I've been readin' at school about this shit called liquid cyanide
I'm fantasizin' at night when he's sleepin' at just the right time
Sneak up with a lethal injection
And put him down like they did to my dog
I'm talkin' euthanasia (Euthanasia), like kids in Taiwan
This fuckin' shit's like Saigon (Saigon)
Neighbors called police on him
So many battery charges, this dude's like lithium-ion
Then Mom and him let bygones (Bygones)
Just be bygones
So on eggshells, I walk and just try not to piss
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
I, I, hate
My, my stepdad (Stepdad)
So tonight I'm sayin', "Bye-bye stepdad" (Stepdad)
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3]
So this year, I'm goin' into the fifth and I'm tall
I'm five foot six on my block, I'm the toughest kid but I got
Way bigger fish to fry
Which is why I'm tryin' to get this bitch to fly off
The handle and wait for the fist to fly to put this guy in a pine box
He's always lookin' for chaos but tonight I've cooked up a plan
So this Christmas, I got some color books and some crayons
I'm layin' on the floor, in the living room with some friends colorin'
He walks by, kicks my arm and goes, "Oops" and just laughs
I yelled for Mom (Mom) and as she's rushin' to my defense
I stood up and said, "Fuck you, punk" and I took off and ran
To my bedroom, as I fled
Dec 18, 2020
Knowin' shit would hit the fan
Slammed the door and hid behind it with an aluminum bat
He kicked it in
I swung it hard as I could at his head
His noodle went splat, he fell right at the foot of my bed
I'm a little bit scared but my anger's overtooken the fear
I threw down the bat and just started whoopin' his ass
Beat him with my bare hands, the big bad wolf ain't so bad
"Ding-dong," the pussy is dead, the bully finally gets his
Stomped him until he pissed enough to fill a two-liter with
Then buried him next to my dog
And if I go to juvie for this, I'ma tell 'em
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
I, I, hate
My, my stepdad (Stepdad)
So tonight I'm sayin', "Bye-bye stepdad" (Stepdad)
'Cause I, I, hate
My, my stepdad (Stepdad)
So tonight I'm sayin', "Bye-bye stepdad" (Stepdad)
Dec 18, 2020
Marsh
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro]
My name is Marsh and this world, I'm out of it (Out of it)
'Cause with all this A-B-C shit, I'm starting to sound like ALF a bit
Ha, I kill me, this medicine's counterfeit
I was mislead by the sound of it, how am I gonna get turnt up on this Valium shit? (Yeah)
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1]
Checked in at the Royal Garden
To chill and avoid my problems
Until paranoia caused me
To feel like I'm going bonkers
For real, think my toilet's talkin'
I spilled like, like forty bottles
Of pills, think your boy is startin'
To feel like a spoiled carton of milk
'Cause it just occurred
My girl's cheatin', I'm kickin' that fucking bitch to the curb
But the word "fucking" ain't meant to be a descriptive word
The type of bitch she is, ain't no adjective, it's a verb
Ho thinks her snatch is magical
But that's how she attracts men, though
Traps 'em and attack similar to an actual arachnid
Or a vaginal tarantula or black widow
In fact, it'll be nothin' to throw that lil' bitch with a capital B out the back window
Dec 18, 2020
Of the black Cadillac limo like a whack demo
When I'm strapped, when I spit rapid, like a ratchet
A halfwit, I'll aim at, then I'll
Been fire bitch, I can outrap Reynolds
A pad and pen'll be great, but a napkin'll do
Return of the whack sicko
Head spinnin' like Invisibl Skratch Piklz
Yeah, Shady's back, see the bat signal
It's time to go bat shit, like you accidentally ate a Louisville slugger and crapped it
I'd like to introduce myself
Hi there, bitch...
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
My name is Marsh and, I'm out this world (This world)
S on my chest (Superman) like it's plural (It's lit)
Call me extra, extraterrestrial
Extra, extra, extraterrestrial (Skrrt, yeah)
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2]
I could keep beefin', fuck is the point?
I could make it really difficult for motherfuckers to come to Detroit
If you're still looking for smoke, I already gave you an L
I'd rather just see you in Hell, but I should get Puff on the joint (Diddy)
Wait, run it back, I said give you an L, inhale
Puff on the joint, I am the blunt you avoid
Used to get jumped for my ProWings
When I was growing up they said a Slinky's a wonderful toy
My mother thought I was such a fun little boy
"Oh, what a bundle of joy"
Until the morning she suffered a punch in the groin
From a tantrum I was throwing
Like a motherfuckin' disgruntled employee
I don't cut the beat 'til I fuckin' destroy it
Once I get going, rain, thunder, it's storming
Puddles are forming, I hear somebody's voice
In my head, say it's still a dream
Then he said kill emcees
Trippie Redd, with pills and lean
Sipping meds in the limousine
Getting head, guillotine
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
My name’s Marsh and, I'm out this world (This world)
S on my chest (Superman) like it's plural (It's lit)
Call me extra, extraterrestrial (Yeah)
Extra, extra, extraterrestrial
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3]
Yeah
So all of y'all can just suck a penis (Suck a penis)
I'll do the opposite (I'll do the opposite)
Eat you pussies like cunnilingus (Like cunnilingus)
There ain't no stoppin' it (There ain't no stoppin' it)
They say I'm such a genius (They say I'm such a genius)
When that Kamikaze hit (When that Kamikaze hit)
Now they call me "butterfingers" (They call me "butterfingers")
'Cause I just keep droppin' shit (I just keep droppin' shit)
You wanna butt heads? Shut up, Beavis, haha
I got your bitch with her butt out
I'm hittin' a lick 'cause she stickin' her tongue out (Bitch)
You got no hitters, you might be pitchin' a shut out
She 'bout to give up the dugout (Yeah)
I should just live in a nuthouse
Right now, I live in an igloo (Yeah)
And I'm not chillin' the fuck out
Treat you like a stepparent, does to a stepchild with red hair and
Plus I get dough like Ed Sheeran, so call me the ginger bread man
I'm a stan of Redman, X-Clan and I'm a Treach fan
But I look up to myself (Yeah)
Dec 18, 2020
Like a fucking headstand (Yeah)
So why, w-w-why else would I call myself an alien?
How could I hit a dry spell? (Yeah), I'm named after the wetlands
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
I'm Marsh and, I'm out this world (This world)
S on my chest (Superman) like it's plural (It's lit)
Call me extra, extraterrestrial (Yeah)
My name is Marsh and, my name is, my name is
My name is Marsh
Dec 18, 2020
River
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Ed Sheeran]
I've been a liar, been a thief
Been a lover, been a cheat
All my sins need holy water, feel it washing over me
Well, little one, I don't want to admit to something
If all it's gonna cause is pain
Truth and my lies right now are falling like the rain
So let the river run
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1: Eminem]
He's comin' home with his neck scratched, to catch flack
Sweat jackets and dress slacks, mismatched
On his breath's Jack, he's a sex addict
And she just wants to exact revenge and get back
It's a chess match, she's on his back like a jet-pack
She's kept track of all his Internet chats
And guess who just happens to be movin' on to the next
Actually, just shit on my last chick and she has what my ex lacks
'Cause she loves danger, psychopath
And you don't fuck with no man's girl, even I know that
But she's devised some plan to stab him in the back
Knife in hand, says their relationship's hangin' by a strand
So she's been on the web lately
Says maybe she'll be my Gwen Stacy, to spite her man
And I know she's using me to try to play him, I don't care
Hi Suzanne, but I shoulda said "Bye Suzanne"
After the first night, but tonight I am
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Ed Sheeran]
I've been a liar, been a thief
Been a lover, been a cheat
All my sins need holy water, feel it washing over me
Well, little one, I don't want to admit to something
If all it's gonna cause is pain
The truth and my lies now are falling like the rain
So let the river run
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2: Eminem]
A one-night stand turned a two-night stand
It was "come sunlight, scram," now we hug tight, and...
He found out, now she feels deserted and used
'Cause he left, so what? He did it first to her too
Now how am I supposed to tell this girl that we're through?
It's hard to find the words, I'm aloof, nervous, and Sue
Don't want this to hurt, but what you deserve is the truth
Don't take it personal, I just can't say this in person to you
So I revert to the studio, like hole-in-the-wall diners
Don't have to be reserved in a booth
I just feel like the person who I'm turning into's
Irreversible, I preyed on you like it's church at the pew
And now that I got you I don't want you
Took advantage in my thirst to pursue
Why do I do this dirt that I do?
Get on my soapbox and preach, my sermon and speech
Detergent and bleach is burnin' the wound
'Cause now with her in the womb
We can't bring her in this world, shoulda knew
To use protection 'fore I bit into your forbidden fruit
Fuck!
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Ed Sheeran]
I've been a liar, been a thief
Been a lover, been a cheat
All my sins need holy water, feel it washing over me
Well, little one, I don't want to admit to something
If all it's gonna cause is pain
The truth and my lies now are falling like the rain
So let the river run
Dec 18, 2020
[Bridge: Eminem & Ed Sheeran]
My name's (ooh), my name's (ooh)
River (ooh), river run
Call me (ooh), call me (ooh)
River (ooh), we'll let the river run
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3: Eminem]
Always the bridesmaid, never "The bride, hey!"
Fuck can I say? If life was a highway
And deceit was an enclave, I'd be swerving in five lanes
Speeds at a high rate, like I'm slidin' on ice, maybe
That's why I may have came at you sideways
I can't keep my lies straight
But I made you terminate my baby
This love triangle left us in a wreck, tangled
What else can I say? It was fun for a while
Bet I really woulda loved your smile
Didn't really wanna abort, but fuck it
What's one more lie, to tell our unborn child?
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Ed Sheeran & Eminem]
I've been a liar, been a thief
Been a lover, been a cheat
All my sins need holy water, feel it washing over me
Well, little one (I'm sorry)
I don't want to admit to something (I fucked up)
If all it's gonna cause is pain
The truth and my lies now are falling like the rain
So let the river run
Dec 18, 2020
Remind Me
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1: Eminem]
Yo! I bust in, devilish grin, disgustin'
Asshole, freckled cheeks and a butt-chin
Callin' all party animals, get
On the floor when I pop up on some Whac-A-Mole shit
In search of a chick who's stacked and so thick
And implants are so big
She can hang me up on that rack, big ol' tits
Like Anna Nicole Smith
Body's bananas and sass to go with
I spot you at first glance and go "shit!"
You wearin' those pants that don't fit
That butt won't ever give up
That's why you stick it out no matter what, huh?
'Cause you got an ass that won't quit
So, get on the horn, my saxophone
Grab hold of my instrument, get a grasp, and blow "whee"
You just laugh and go heehee
'Cause you're just as nasty so that's appropriate
That's why—
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem / Joan Jett & the Blackhearts]
I love you, 'cause you remind me of me
That's why I love you, 'cause you're like me (Yeah, me)
I said I love you, 'cause you remind me of me
That's why I love you, 'cause you're like me, nasty (Yeah, me)
Dec 18, 2020
[Interlude: Eminem]
You know, I'm wearin' a new shirt tonight too
With me on it
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2: Eminem]
I'm lookin' at your tight rear like a sightseer
Your booty is heavy duty like diarrhea
The plan's to bring you to my house
You're drinkin' Jack and Beam
I'm thinkin' soon this tramp'll lean so we should bounce
But you're outta your tube-top
If you're thinkin' that mi casa es su casa
Yeah, you're a cute fox
Perfect ten so back that up like a moonwalk
Girl, you're smokin' like Snoop Dogg
But you must be tokin' if you think you're takin' over my quarters
There goes the dime into the jukebox
Two shots of blue Hpnotiq and soon I'll
Turn this pool hall to a barroom brawl
So, Rick, scratch on the break like the cue ball
Turn the volume all the way up on your boombox
And excuse the locker room talk, I'm just too raw
But apparently, so are you, ma
'Cause you just kicked me in the balls and told me to screw off
And that's why—
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem / Joan Jett & the Blackhearts]
I love you, 'cause you remind me of me
That's why I love you, 'cause you're like me (Yeah, me)
I said I love you, 'cause you remind me of me
That's why I love you, 'cause you're like me, nasty (Yeah, me)
Dec 18, 2020
[Bridge: Eminem & Joan Jett & The Blackhearts]
Said "Can I take you home, where we can be alone?"
Shorty, you the shit, girl, I ordered you to sit
I know you're probably feelin' me more than you admit
Pull up a chair, sweetie, let me order you a drink
I only go to meetings court-ordered from a shrink
So from the bottom to the top, floor to ceilin'
You ain't run of the mill, you're one in a million
'Cause real tits are still fun
But everybody knows fake tits are still better than real ones
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3: Eminem]
So come and spend the night with the guy most are terrified of
But tonight, curiosity overrides ya
Beside ya fired up like a starter pistol
Crystal, let's slide hon, tonight I'm your pilot
'Cause you should be up in the sky, girl
You're so fucking fly, you belong in the mile high club
So come on, baby, the night's young
Don't string me along, I'm high-strung
We might wind up on mound like we're tryin' for the Cy Young
Fuckin' 'fore we get to the house
Screwin' our brains out like changing a lightbulb
That's why I like ya, 'cause I'm crazy just like ya
Now every time I get brain, you screw mine up
I barely can think straight, your head game is a mindfuck
So ready, set, aim and fire
Yes, babe, I’m fallin' in like, that's kinda, why I love
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem / Joan Jett & the Blackhearts]
I love you, 'cause you remind me of me
That's why I love you, 'cause you're like me (Yeah me)
I said I love you, 'cause you remind me of me
That's why I love you, 'cause you're like me, nasty (Yeah, me)
Dec 18, 2020
Like Home
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro]
Yeah, shout to everybody
Who's been on this trip with me
You don't have to, agree
But if you feel like me
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1: Eminem]
Someone get this Aryan a sheet
Time to bury him, so tell him to prepare to get impeached
Everybody on your feet
This is where terrorism and heroism meet, square off in the street
This chump barely even sleeps
All he does is watch Fox News like a parrot and repeats
While he looks like a canary with a beak
Why you think he banned transgenders from the military with a tweet? He's tryin' to divide us
This shit's like a cult, but like Johnny he'll only unite us
'Cause nothin' inside us drives us like this fight does
Similar to when two cars collide 'cause
Our spirit's crushed, and this spot's a tight one
But here the jaws of life come
To pull us from the wreckage, that's what we get pride from
When we can’t from our stars and stripes cause
This type of pickle that we're in is hard to deal
But there's always tomorrow still
If we start from scratch like a scab, get the scars to heal
And band together for Charlottesville
And for Heather, fallen heroes, fill this wall with mur
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Alicia Keys & Eminem]
And here's to where we all began, all began (Stand up!)
Here's to the land that made me
And made me who I am, who I am (Hands up!)
Here's to the land that raised me
This one for the only place that really knows me
For the cracks in the road that drove me
There's no place like home
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2: Eminem]
Didn't wanna piss your base off, did ya?
Can't denounce the Klan, 'cause they play golf with ya
You stay on Twitter, way to get your hate off
Nazi, I do not see a way y'all differ
And all you got are race cards, bigot
The swastika with your name carved in it
Should be your trademark, 'cause hate's all you played off
And you just lick the plate off
So I guess it pays to feed off of chaos
So basically, you ate off Hitler!
But you ain't ruinin' our country, punk
Or takin' our pride from us, you won't define us
'Cause like a dictionary, things are lookin' up
So much, got a sprained neck, know we would rise up
Against this train wreck and take a stand
Even if it means sittin' when they raise the flag
To sing "The Star-Spangled Banner"
This man just praised a statue of General Lee
'Cause he generally hates the black people, degrades hispanics
Take it back to the Shady national convention
Wish I woulda spit on it before I went to shake his hand
At the event or maybe had the
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Alicia Keys & Eminem]
And here's to where we all began, all began (Stand up!)
Here's to the land that made me
And made me who I am, who I am (Hands up!)
Here's to the land that raised me
This one for the only place that really knows me
For the cracks in the road that drove me
There's no place like home
Dec 18, 2020
[Bridge: Alicia Keys & Eminem]
I won't give up
I won't give up on my home, that so many died for
You already know that I won't give up
I won't give up on my home, that so many died for
You already know
There's no place like home, no place like home
Wherever I go, no place like home
No place like home, no place like home
Wherever I go (Yeah)
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Alicia Keys & Eminem]
And here's to where we all began, all began (Stand up!)
Here's to the land that made me
And made me who I am, who I am (Hands up!)
Here's to the land that raised me
This one for the only place that really knows me
For the cracks in the road that drove me
There's no place like home
Dec 18, 2020
Chloraseptic
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1: Eminem]
Instinctive nature to bring the anguish (Yeah)
To the English language
With this ink, you haters get rode on like a piece of paper
This rap shit got me travelin' place to place
You barely leave your house
'Cause you're always stuck at your pad, it's stationary
Yeah, that's why when I brainstorm, gotta write it out
Simon Cowell of rhymin' foul, that's why you sound so shook
Wire bound notebook got tied around your throat
Hook it inside your mouth, go—hruh
That's what it's like when the mic is out
'Cause I'm tearin' at your flesh with it
'Til your larynx and neck are split
With these lyrics, weapons, expert with
Like hair extensions, extra clips
And you're scared to effin' death of it
Bitch, you're starin' at a legend that
In a pair of Skechers, sweatshirt ripped
And hoodie black, should be strapped
To a chair or stretcher, electric, swear on every record, bitch
Finger so high in the air, I'll bet your senses flip
Like a barometric pressure switch
Dec 18, 2020
Carin' less who I offend with this
I'm at your neck like Pez dispense
Go 'head, spit your flow, bitch!
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: PHresher]
I'm at your throat like Chloraseptic, 'septic
And you got strep, I'm too complex with it, 'plex with it
This shit I wrote is on some next shit, next shit
I'm at your throat, I'm feelin' reckless, reckless, yeah
Dec 18, 2020
[Post-Chorus: Eminem & PHresher]
And I'll take a hundred of you, hundred of you
All at once like I had nothin' to lose, what can I do?
My appetite for destruction is loose, destruction is loose
And all it wants is to have somethin' to chew
Somethin' to chew, somethin' to chew
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2: Eminem]
Yeah, uh (Haha), and still conjoined at
The hip with hop, still on point and poignant
Skilled as Floyd is
In this field, and still no filter, boy
I'll put you in your place (Yeah) like a realtor, boy
You still ain't in the buildin', boy
I will destroy shit, even as I build it
Get the drill bit, pen is filled with poison
Which is the source, easy to still pinpoint it
(Like what?) Like a real thin joint it
(What?) Comes on Quilted Northern
(And what?) In a built-in toilet
(Yeah) Bitch, I told you I'm a dog (Woof)
I wouldn't heal with ointment
Way I'm kickin' these fairies' tails
Should write a children's storybook (Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Million voices in my head
But still get a little bit of thrill and some real enjoyment
(Off what?) Off the feel of going in
(Like?) Like your bitch when she gives me brain
Like she thinks I'm dumb
Grabs the crown of my dick and blows me to kingdom come
'Til I feel anointed
She makes iller noises
Dec 18, 2020
When she's with me, must be from the Windy City, uh
Pretty apparent, she's a MILF when blowin' me
'Cause I conned her into
Rippin' the condom in two (Woo!)
Dick is a bargainin' tool
Now I'm gettin' blew like Klonopins, Rude Jude
I go there, you wouldn't
Well, I still have a few views in common with you
Just not YouTube, 'cause…
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: PHresher]
I'm at your throat like Chloraseptic, 'septic
And you got strep, I'm too complex with it, 'plex with it
This shit I wrote is on some next shit, next shit
I'm at your throat, I'm feelin' reckless, reckless, yeah
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3: Eminem]
You're a has-been
That has been the case since back when
You last went and threw your hat in the race
You've been trash (Bitch!)
Stick your raps in the trash bin
Or end up in my next rhyme
You're a fuckboy, so next time
It's gonna be heads flyin' like Dez Bryant
With a TEC-9 against Rex Ryan (Yeah!)
Now watch me set it like correct time
All you get is sloppy seconds like a Timex, I
Clock rejects into the next life
Talking reckless, but it's just my
Strongest suit, but you can get my Colombian necktie
Prostitute, just climb in the Humvee and let's ride
Why you hitching at night?
I put an end to your life, sex crime
Kidding aside, insidious vibe
Girl, you know you got the prettiest eyes
But all you're getting is bribed
Any old lie to try to get you inside
Then we gon' end up spending the night
And I'm skinning your hide like an Indian tribe
What kind of nut drives a Budweiser truck
Finds a slut, tries to surprise her, cuffs, ties her up
Binds up, cuts, slices her twice?
Dec 18, 2020
But the muff diver must just like it rough
Fuck right in her vagina, blood
Flies up on the visor, like a geyser, uh
(Music, please!) Enthusiast of the roofie
Goal is to get a floozy inside the Jacuzzi
And have a loosey-goosey as Cool C is with an Uzi
But I am to rap what blue jeans mean to Bruce Springsteen
Glued we be, I'm truTV, you're too PG
I'm Schoolly D, you're Spoonie Gee!
No diss there, just notice there
Are no similarities that we share
Besides the fact we breathe air
Happily married to rap and I'm glad that we buried
The hatchet and patched it up
Now I'm back to ratchet up my attack
And I'm at your mothafuckin' throat like—
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: PHresher]
—throat like Chloraseptic, 'septic
And you got strep, I'm too complex with it, 'plex with it
This shit I wrote is on some next shit, next shit
I'm at your throat, I'm feelin' reckless, reckless, yeah
Dec 18, 2020
[Post-Chorus: Eminem & PHresher]
And I'll take a hundred of you, hundred of you
All at once like I had nothin' to lose, what can I do?
My appetite for destruction is loose, destruction is loose
And all it wants is to have somethin' to chew
Somethin' to chew, somethin' to chew
Dec 18, 2020
Drips
Dec 18, 2020
[Intro: Eminem & Obie Trice]
Obie, yo
I'm sick
Damn, you straight, dog?
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem & Obie Trice]
That's why I ain't got no time (I think I got chlamydia)
For these games and stupid tricks
Or these bitches (Bitch!) on my dick
That's how dudes be gettin' sick (That bitch!)
That's how dicks be gettin' drips
Fallin' victims to this shit
From these bitches on our dicks
Fuckin' chickens with no ribs
That's why I ain't got no time
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1: Obie]
Yo, I woke up, fucked up off the liquor I drunk (Damn!)
I had a bag of the skunk, won in last night's tunk
Pussy residue was on my penis, Denise from the cleaner's
Fucked me good, you shoulda seen this
Big booty bitch, switch unbearable (Shit!)
French roll stylin', body like a stallion
Sizin' up the figure, while my shit gettin' bigger
Debatin' on a fuck or do I wanna be her nigga?
Caressin' this bitch, plus I'm checkin' out them tits (Damn!)
Sippin' on that fine shit I ain't used to buyin'
I gotta hit it from behind, it's mandatory
Like takin' hoes' money, but that's another story
For surely pussy on toast, after we toast
Her clothes fell like Bishop in Juice (C'mere)
The womb beater, clean pussy eater, insertin' my jock
In that spot hotter than the hottest block
"Don't stop!"—response I got when I was knockin' it
Clock's steady tickin', kinky finger lickin'
And can on, semen's at my tip when she moans
I gotta slow down before I cum soon
Dec 18, 2020
And work that nigga like a slave owner (Yeah)
When I dropped off my outfit she knew I wanted to bone her
She foamin' at them lips, the ones between the hips
Pubic hair's lookin' like some sour cream dip
Without the nacho, my dick hit the spot though
Pussy tighter than conditions of us black folks
We in the final stretch (C'mere), the last part of sex
I bust a fat-ass nut, then I woke up next (Holy)
Like, what the fuck is goin' on here? (Shit!) This bitch evaporated
Pussy and all just picked up and vacated
And now I'm frustrated, 'cause my dick was unprotected (Damn!)
And doctor Wesley tellin' me I really got that shit (Fuck!)
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem]
That's why I ain't got no time
For these games and stupid tricks
Or these bitches on my dick
That's how dudes be gettin' sick
That's how dicks be gettin' drips
Fallin' victims to this shit
From these bitches on our dicks
Fuckin' chickens with no ribs
That's why I ain't got no time
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2: Eminem]
Now I don't wanna hit no woman, but this chick's got it comin'
Someone better get this bitch 'fore she gets kicked in the stomach
And she's pregnant, but she's eggin' me on, beggin' me to throw her
Off the steps of this porch, my only weapon is force
And I don't wanna resort to violence of any sort
Though what's she shovin' me for? (Bitch!) Doesn't she love me no more?
Wasn't she huggin' me four minutes ago at the door?
Man, I'm this close to goin' toe-to-toe with this whore
What would you do if she was tellin' you she wants a divorce?
She's havin' another baby in a month and it's yours
And you found it isn't, 'cause this bitch has been visitin' someone else
Dec 18, 2020
And suckin' his dick and kissin' you on the lips when you get back to Michigan
Now the plot is thickenin' worse
‘Cause you feel like you've been stickin' your fuckin' dick in a hearse
So you're paranoid at every little cold that you get
Ever since they told you this shit, you've been holdin' your dick
So you go to the clinic, sweatin' every minute you in it
Then the doctor comes out, lookin' like Dennis the Menace (Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha)
And it's obvious to everyone in the lobby it's AIDS (Sorry)
He ain't even gotta call you in his office to say it (Sorry)
So you jet back home, 'cause you gon' get that ho
When you see her, you gon' bend her fuckin' neck back, yo
'Cause you love her, you never would expect that blow
Obie told you the scoop, how could she stoop that low?
Jesus, I don't believe this bitch works at the cleaner's
Bringin' me home diseases, swingin' from Obie's penis
She's so deceivin', shit, this ho's a genius, she G'd us
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus: Eminem]
That's why I ain't got no time
For these games and stupid tricks
Or these bitches on my dick
That's how dudes be gettin' sick
That's how dicks be gettin' drips
Fallin' victims to this shit
From these bitches on our dicks
Fuckin' chickens with no ribs
That's why I ain't got no time
Dec 18, 2020
[Outro: Eminem & Obie Trice]
I'm busy, yeah, fuck these bitches!
Fuck 'em all!
Get money, Shady Records
Ha, whoa!
Obie Trice! Eminem, motherfucker!
New millennium shit, yeah
Turn this shit off, man
Turn this shit the fuck—
Dec 18, 2020
ok fack one last time
Dec 18, 2020
FACK
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, goddamn!)
I'm gonna facking cum! (Oh, shit!)
Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)
I am, I'm going to cum (I'm cumming!)
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 1]
(Oh yeah, God!) I never seen no chick like this
This bitch can twist like a damn contortionist
Condom on my dick? Of course it is
This bitch don't know what abortion is
So I can't cum in her, fucks like a porn star
Looks like Jenna, fack, I'm gonna
Cum, I think my rubber's comin' off
But oh, it's so fucking wet and soft
Fuck, I'm gonna start lettin' off
I'm squirting and she's not gettin' off
And she's on top, I'm gonna facking
Oh, God, oh, don't do that
Don't, stop, stop, don't, I don't mean "don't stop"
Ow, wait a minute, ow, ow, fuck
I, I'm gonna fucking cum! *squirt squirt squirt*
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, goddamn!)
I'm gonna fucking cum! (Oh, shit!)
Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)
I am, I'm going to cum (I'm cumming!)
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2]
(Oh, yeah, God!) Ooh, wow, boom that pow
Ooh, ow, I need a cigarette now
Ow, I'm so fucking hot
And you're so fucking hot
Oh my god, I wanna facking fack
No not "fuck", I said "fack"
F-A-C-K, F-A-C-K
Fack, fack, fack, facking freak me!
Oh yeah, girl see, baby, they call me Mr. Freaky
Let's call your sister, three-way
Have some threesome, me so horny
And you're such a fucking babe
I wanna go down on you—fuck, you shaved?!
Oh, goddamn, here I go again
I'm gonna cum, I am!
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, goddamn!)
I'm gonna facking cum! (Oh, shit!)
Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)
I am, I'm going to cum (I'm cumming!)
Dec 18, 2020
[Interlude]
I'm Slim Shady, uh, uh, uh
I'm Slim Shady, uh, uh, uh
I'm Slim Shady, uh, uh, uh
I'm Slim Shady, uh, uh, uh
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3]
Okay, I'm done, I already came twice
You ain't gonna make me cum
I'm all outta gas, not so fast
Uh, your finger just went in my ass
Ow, that hurts, take it out now
Oh, wait a minute, aw
Put it back in, in-in-in
This don't mean I'm gay, I don't like men
I like boobs, boobs, boobs
Now see that gerbil, grab that tube
Shove it up my butt
Let that little rascal nibble on my asshole, uhh
Yeah, right there, right there
Ahh, I'm cumming, oh, yeah
Fack, I just came again
Okay, pull it out now, enhh
Oh, fuck yeah
Wait, he's not out, he's still crawling around up there
Ow, fuck, I think it's stuck
Ow, but it feels so fucking good
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, goddamn!)
I'm gonna facking cum! (Oh, shit!)
Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)
I am, I'm going to cum (I'm cumming!)
Dec 18, 2020
[Outro]
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube
Ew, ew, ew, ew
Dec 18, 2020
@Basic_Garci @Cry @Chode @CLJesse

dont do drugs
Dec 18, 2020
im gonna pass out

bye bye
Dec 18, 2020
A historic moment in the history of the website.
Dec 18, 2020
Wtf
Dec 18, 2020
aoty moment
Dec 18, 2020
That extra Fack at the end *Chef's Kiss*
Dec 18, 2020
World record
Dec 18, 2020
@ParthanyJobtano You're right, drugs are bad, don't do them! Take some rest! Bye! :)
Dec 18, 2020
Lmao🐢🐢🐢🐢
Dec 18, 2020
224 comments....
Dec 18, 2020
@Basic_Garci

"She's like, that's harassment, I'm like, yeah, and? (Woo)"
Dec 18, 2020
That’s an awfully hot coffee pot
Dec 18, 2020
@spicyb

Should I drop it on Donald Trump? Probably not
Dec 18, 2020
Goated
Dec 18, 2020
Parthsny fucking jobtano. I wanna marry you. I ain’t gay but.
Dec 18, 2020
@SMTCubes

THEN WHY DONT I FEEL LIKE ONE??????????????
Dec 18, 2020
@TomBejoy

lets fuckinnggg goooooooo
Dec 18, 2020
@ParthanyJobtano you are a king, don't forget it
Dec 18, 2020
@SMTCubes

no u
Dec 18, 2020
jesus fucking christ
Dec 18, 2020
what have i done
Dec 18, 2020
this is insanity
Dec 18, 2020
im insane
Dec 18, 2020
Post nut clarity
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, goddamn!)
I'm gonna facking cum! (Oh, shit!)
Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)
I am, I'm going to cum (I'm cumming!)
Dec 18, 2020
(Oh yeah, God!) I never seen no chick like this
This bitch can twist like a damn contortionist
Condom on my dick? Of course it is
This bitch don't know what abortion is
So I can't cum in her, fucks like a porn star
Dec 18, 2020
Looks like Jenna, fack, I'm gonna
Cum, I think my rubber's comin' off
But oh, it's so fucking wet and soft
Fuck, I'm gonna start lettin' off
I'm squirting and she's not gettin' off
Dec 18, 2020
And she's on top, I'm gonna facking
Oh, God, oh, don't do that
Don't, stop, stop, don't, I don't mean "don't stop"
Ow, wait a minute, ow, ow, fuck
I, I'm gonna fucking cum! *squirt squirt squirt*
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, goddamn!)
I'm gonna fucking cum! (Oh, shit!)
Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)
I am, I'm going to cum (I'm cumming!)
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 2]
(Oh, yeah, God!) Ooh, wow, boom that pow
Ooh, ow, I need a cigarette now
Ow, I'm so fucking hot
And you're so fucking hot
Oh my god, I wanna facking fack
No not "fuck", I said "fack"
Dec 18, 2020
F-A-C-K, F-A-C-K
Fack, fack, fack, facking freak me!
Oh yeah, girl see, baby, they call me Mr. Freaky
Let's call your sister, three-way
Have some threesome, me so horny
Dec 18, 2020
And you're such a fucking babe
I wanna go down on you—fuck, you shaved?!
Oh, goddamn, here I go again
I'm gonna cum, I am!
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, goddamn!)
I'm gonna facking cum! (Oh, shit!)
Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)
I am, I'm going to cum (I'm cumming!)
Dec 18, 2020
[Interlude]
I'm Slim Shady, uh, uh, uh
I'm Slim Shady, uh, uh, uh
I'm Slim Shady, uh, uh, uh
I'm Slim Shady, uh, uh, uh
Dec 18, 2020
[Verse 3]
Okay, I'm done, I already came twice
You ain't gonna make me cum
I'm all outta gas, not so fast
Uh, your finger just went in my ass
Dec 18, 2020
Ow, that hurts, take it out now
Oh, wait a minute, aw
Put it back in, in-in-in
This don't mean I'm gay, I don't like men
I like boobs, boobs, boobs
Dec 18, 2020
Now see that gerbil, grab that tube
Shove it up my butt
Let that little rascal nibble on my asshole, uhh
Yeah, right there, right there
Dec 18, 2020
Ahh, I'm cumming, oh, yeah
Fack, I just came again
Okay, pull it out now, enhh
Oh, fuck yeah
Dec 18, 2020
Wait, he's not out, he's still crawling around up there
Ow, fuck, I think it's stuck
Ow, but it feels so fucking good
Dec 18, 2020
[Chorus]
Owwww, owwww, owwww (Oh, goddamn!)
I'm gonna facking cum! (Oh, shit!)
Fack, fack, fack (Fuck, I am!)
I am, I'm going to cum (I'm cumming!)
Dec 18, 2020
[Outro]
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube
Ew, ew, ew, ew
Dec 18, 2020
Pulled up on your bitch, she sucked my dick
And then you kissed her (Goddamn, 21)
Dec 18, 2020
This is now officially the most commented review on the site
Dec 18, 2020
Let me💁🏾‍♀️get a Big Mac 🍔 💯 supersize 😳🦆my fries 🍟 why you staring at me 👩👀bitch go get my apple pie 🥧 I need a Diet Co 🥤- Ma’am this is a chick fil a 🏳️‍🌈🚫
Dec 18, 2020
is this actually the most commented review?
Dec 18, 2020
damn
Dec 18, 2020
I'm gonna have to comment on Kidwithguns born like this review more...
Dec 18, 2020
MOST COMMENTS BRAZIL
Dec 18, 2020
COME TO BRAZIL
Dec 18, 2020
BRAZIL MAN 2020
Dec 18, 2020
get money!
Dec 18, 2020
awesome crazy BRAZIL PLEASE
Dec 18, 2020
wow man
Dec 18, 2020
what?
Dec 18, 2020
didn't expect you here!
Dec 18, 2020
wdym
Dec 18, 2020
on this review! Remember?
Dec 18, 2020
ohhh yeah. I remember
Dec 18, 2020
crazy how time flies, GeMann
Dec 18, 2020
it was only like a week ago when we last talked.
Dec 18, 2020
well, sometimes big things happen in small time periods.
Dec 18, 2020
ribbit I am groag
Dec 18, 2020
who is groag?
Dec 18, 2020
me I am a froge
Dec 18, 2020
crazy
Dec 18, 2020
Kendrick Lamar loved cum. There was no politer way to say it, but he did. He realized his love for it when he had first given in to mastrubation and had harbored a secret passion for it, which confused him mildly at first, seeing as he had viewed himself to be straight. He could never forget the feel of his own semen as it spurted over his fingers for the first time and coated his cock his with a slick warmness that kept him hard for another wank directly afterwards.

Every since he “abused” himself during a sleepless night eight years ago, Kendrick had been on a one man quest to find the perfect cum. He was now twenty-six and still nowhere near to finding it; or so he thought. Every time he had come close to a man as he orgasmed, he found the end result always tended to be too runny; almost like milk, or too thick, like large globs of shaving cream which never vacated the penis in an arousing way.
Dec 18, 2020
No, the perfect cum had to be something in between these two extremes, a perfect consistency that jetted out of its bearer’s cock with speed and landed on its destination in the desired fashion. Kendrick thought that he would never find it, until...

Kendrick did most of his detective work through spying, just ,Ike any real detective would when needing to find answers during tricky situations. It was what Kendrick had settled to on the first night of his tour to Paris. Besides seeing ‘fellas in paris’; he spyed on J. Cole who was getting awfully caught up in the wanking that he had been forced to do due to a lack of companionship.
Dec 18, 2020
The young rapper was so focused on his actions that he failed to notice when the door, which adjoined his bedroom to his and Kendrick’s shared bathroom, opened slightly. He was too far near completion to even think straight and it was with a stroke of luck that he begin to moan obscurely as he came.

Kendrick gasped as he watched the warm spurts of Cole’s come coat his stomach, leaving long white trails down his torso and around his pubic hair. Kendrick had found his perfect cum; his quest had ended.

He made no sound as he fully opened the door and walked steadily towards the sedated rapper who did nothing to stop his friend and tourmate as he mounted the bed that he had on. Kendrick then pushed himself between Cole’s legs and without so much as a greeting dipped his head and stuck out his tongue, which collected his most treasured prize.
Dec 18, 2020
After that night, where Cole managed to have two more orgasms, and Kendrick had two more cum-feasts, devouring of Cole’s perfect cum became a regular occurrence. He would always start by jacking off, but most the time, Kendrick would finish him off with his mouth and collect his reward immediately.

There was one night though, about three months after the initial agreement for what they were doing, where Kendrick confessed to something that even scared himself just a little bit.

“I want it inside me.”
Dec 18, 2020
Cole blinked at his friend a few times stupidly, almost questioning Kendrick’s motives before he realized what Kendrick was willing to do. He bit his lip and nodded as he saw him smile about him quickly, he looked down at his cock and took a deep breath. It was gonna be somewhere sacred.

Kendrick prepared Cole in the way that aroused him the most; with his cum, and gently pushed himself upon Cole’s pulsating cock. The younger rapper moaned as he was stretched and kept his thoughts on the end goal, and the sweetest of treats.

“Oh god,” he said as he could visualize and almost taste it; the goodness that he would unleash as soon as he moved.
Dec 18, 2020
Cole could do nothing but lay back and enjoy Kendrick’s movements. He rode him expertly and with piercing brown eyes locked with his. He knew the reason for Kendrick’s stare, it was something he always did at these times; he was waiting for Cole’s certain look, that one facial expression that told him that he would be coming any second.

It annoyed Cole that they were so close and Kendrick treated the event almost like a business transaction. He was riding Cole’s cock for one purpose only and it made him almost not want to cum. He contemplated trying to hold back for a moment but soon realized it would be impossible; he’d come soon and Kenny would get what he wanted. If only he could get what he wanted too.
Dec 18, 2020
That look was present on Cole’s face and Kendrick beamed as he impaled himself harder on his friends cock. He made moans of triumph as Cole let go and filled him with his seed, although he hadn’t planned on Cole pulling him forward against him causing their bodies to smack against each other things to their collective sweat. Kendrick was lost for a moment as he noticed something shine in Cole’s eyes, but then he remembered what he was doing and lifted himself off his friend.

Cole looked on with confusion as Kendrick hovered above him for only a few seconds, only to understand what he was doing when he heard the rapper grown appreciatively, and felt something wet drip on his abdomen.
Dec 18, 2020
“Mmm...” Kendrick hummed and shuffled down between Cole’s legs once the latters cum stopped dripping out his arse. In about five licks, he had Cole cleaned up and he smiled at him thankfully.

“You’re a dirty cum-whore, you know that?” Cole said and scared Kendrick momentarily as he sat up and pulled Kenny into his lap. “But I love you for it....” he added and kissed his tourmate. He kept a firm hold on the back of Kendrick’s head and moaned as he tasted himself on his tongue. He could almost taste the appeal of Kenny’s obsession.
Dec 18, 2020
@Basic_Garci

legendary
Dec 19, 2020
@basic_garci better than Craigold could ever have done.
Dec 19, 2020
what the actual fuck have you done
Dec 19, 2020
@Rater

Wish i know
Dec 19, 2020
@Rater don’t fucking worry about it xd
Dec 19, 2020
oh god
Dec 19, 2020
@patricia4221

facepalm moment
Dec 20, 2020
Wow this is the largest comment section I’ve seen on a review
Dec 24, 2020
looks like AOTY user ParthanyJobtano has finally lost it
Dec 24, 2020
We As Americans
Dec 24, 2020
[Verse 1]
A couple of cocktails'll send me to jail
There's a couple of cops hot on my trail, but this time
When I get pulled over there's a Doberman Pinscher
And a pit bull in the seat, these pigs'll get bit
Foolin' with me, quit foolin' with me
Bitch, you're gonna see, no pistol in the seat
Why it always gotta be an issue when you're me?
And which you're gonna see in the long run, I'ma be the wrong one
You wanna harass with this limo-tinted glass
Flashin' that flashlight on my ass — where was you at
Last night when them assholes ran up on my grass?
Rapper slash actor, kiss the crack of my cracker slash ass
They took away my right to bear arms
What I'm 'posed to fight with, bare palms?
Yeah, right! They comin' with bombs
I'm comin' with flare guns; we as Americans
Dec 24, 2020
[Chorus]
We as Americans, us as a citizen
Gotta protect ourselves, look at how shit has been
We better check ourselves, livin' up in these streets
Through worse and through better health, survivin' by any means
We as Americans, us as a citizen
We are Samaritans, what do we get us in?
We better check ourselves, look at how shit has been
Take a look where you live, this is America, and we are Americans
Dec 24, 2020
[Verse 2]
I make beaucoup bucks, wearin' beaucoup vests
Drama hangin' over my head, like a voodoo hex
I coulda been next to fly over the cuckoo's nest
With you-know-who, with an S tattooed to my chest
But I've finessed it, now I've got the industry pissy
Ever since me and Dre split it fifty-fifty on 50
It's funny, we got a buzz spreadin' quicker
Than makin' paper airplanes out of a twenty
Fuck money! I don't rap for dead presidents
I'd rather see the President [dead]
It's never been said, but I set precedents
And the standards and they can't stand it
My name shoulda been "Bastard", the shit shoulda been plastered
On my forehead with a stamp, I shoulda been blasted
I shoulda been had a cap put in my ass
But I'm too swift and fast for that, I'm past it
I'm too old to go and cruise Gratiot — fuck that shit!
I done seen how fast this rap shit
Can turn into some pap-pap shit, that quick, snap click
But this time, they got the fuckin' automatic
Ain't no one gon' test this man — clack (*click
Dec 24, 2020
[Chorus]
We as Americans, us as a citizen
Gotta protect ourselves, look at how shit has been
We better check ourselves, livin' up in these streets
Through worse and through better health, survivin' by any means
We as Americans, us as a citizen
We are Samaritans, what do we get us in?
We better check ourselves, look at how shit has been
Take a look where you live, this is America, and we are Americans
Dec 24, 2020
[Verse 3]
(Shht!) I got a secret if you can keep it between us
I tuck two ninas under my jeans, either side of my penis
Under my long johns, under my Sean Johns
One run-in with the long arm of the law, I'm long gone
I'ma do five years — no less than that, no questions asked
So it might be a good idea that I stop right here
And quit while I'm ahead, already in the red
Already got a steady infrared meant for my head
A target on my back, bigger problems than that
Bin Laden on my ass, he probably gon' send a task
I ain't gon' even ask, they ain't gon' let me pack
They ain't gon' give me my semi, but I got my weed back
Jan 4, 2021
@ParthonyJobtano please post the lyrics of Big Weenie again
Jan 7, 2021
@evancool

i gotchu fam
Jan 7, 2021
Big Weenie
Jan 7, 2021
[Intro]
I don't understand
Why are you being so mean?
You're a mean, mean man
Jan 7, 2021
[Chorus]
You're just jealous of me 'cause you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things about me
'Cause you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
'Cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things, 'cause it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
Jan 7, 2021
[Verse 1]
Alright, listen, I need you to focus
I need you to go dig deep in your mind, this is important
We are going to perform an experiment of the sorts
I'm going to have to ask you to bear with me for a moment
Now I need you to open your mind, your eyes, close 'em
You are now about to be placed under my hypnosis
For the next four and a half minutes, we are going to explore
Into your mind to find out why you're so fucking jealous
Now why did they make yoo-hoo? Pippity-kaka-poo-poo
Psych, I'm kidding, I just wanted to see if you're still listening
Okay, now I need your undivided attention
Sir, I have a question, why do I always sense this undeniable tension?
From the moment that I enter into the room it gets all quiet and whispers
Whenever there's conversation, why am I always mentioned?
I've been dying to ask, it's been itching at me, is it just because...
Jan 7, 2021
[Chorus]
You're just jealous of me 'cause you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things about me
'Cause you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
'Cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things, 'cause it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
Jan 7, 2021
[Verse 2]
Alright now I (Shit), I just flubbed a line
I was going to say something extremely important
But I forgot who or what it was, I fucked up
Psych, I'm kidding again, you idiot, no, I didn't
That's just what you wanted to hear from me is that I fucked up, ain't it?
But I can bust one take without looking at no paper
It doesn't take a bunch of takes or me to stand here in this booth all day
For me to say the truth, okay? You're drooling, you have tooth decay
Your mouth is open, you're disgusting, what the fuck you eat for lunch?
A bunch of sweets or something? What, you munch a bunch of Crunch 'n Munch?
Your tooth is rotten to the gum, your breath stinks, wanna chew some gum?
"Yes, I do, sir, what am I on?" You, sir, are on truth serum
"Marshall, I'm so jealous of you, please say you won't tell nobody
I'd be so embarrassed, I'm just absolutely terrified
That someone's gonna find out why I'm saying all these terrible
Evil and awful mean things, it's my own insecurities"
Jan 7, 2021
[Chorus]
You're just jealous of me 'cause you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things about me
'Cause you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
'Cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things, 'cause it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
Jan 7, 2021
[Verse 3]
Alright, now we, we're going to conduct
That experiment that we were talking about earlier
Just to see what a frog looks like when it takes two hits of ecstasy
'Cause that's exactly what your eyes look like, wanna check to see?
Here's a mirror, notice the resemblance here?
Wait, let me put these sunglasses on, now look in this mirror
How 'bout now? What do you have in common?
You're both green with envy and look like idiots with sunglasses on 'em
You look like I sound like singing about weenies
Now take my weenie out of your mouth
This is between me and you, I know you're not happy
I know you'd much rather see me lying in the corner of a room somewhere crying
Curled up in a ball, tweaked out of my mind, dying, there's no denying
That my weenie is much bigger than yours is
Mine is like sticking a banana between two oranges
Why are you even doing this to yourself? It's pointless
Why do we have to keep on going through this? This is torturous
My point is this
Jan 7, 2021
That if you say mean things, your weenie will shrink
Now I forgot what the chorus is, you're just as...

[Chorus]
You're just jealous of me 'cause you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it, you walk around and say
All kinds of really mean things about me
'Cause you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only 'cause you're just really jealous of me
'Cause I'm what you wanna be, so you just look like an idiot
When you say these mean things, 'cause it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie
Jan 7, 2021
[Outro]
Fuck off my dick
Jan 7, 2021
you're welcome @evancool
Jan 15, 2021
shall i preview the first part of the new Kendrick review here @ParthanyJobtano
Jan 15, 2021
@Basic_Garci

😳😳😳
s pls
Jan 24, 2021
historical moment
Feb 2, 2021
not historical anymore
Feb 2, 2021
@Rater

BUT PEEPEE IN FREEZER THO
Feb 13, 2021
just remembered to tell you that this is a historical moment again since eva deleted her review, what an unexpected turn of events
Feb 13, 2021
Almost as good as the C4 review
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