Cokie the Clown - You're Welcome
May 22, 2019 (updated Jan 27, 2021)
0
Do not listen to this record. Do not. Get away from this album as far as possible. Curiosty getting the better of you? Don't. Don't listen to this. It's a horrid album by someone who clearly only cares about himself. And if you have mental issues that you can't overcome on your own and are having suicidal thoughts, then please check this link: http://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Suicide is never OK, no matter what this album says.

So i've heard this thing is...interesting. Not only has Fantano called this record the worst of the year so far, but several people on the site have given this album a big whopping goose egg. Zeroes around the board, making this one of the lowest rated albums of 2019. Jesus Christ. How the fuck did Cokie the Clown, alter ego of NOFX's Fat Mike, get people so fired up? (from my brief research into this album) and drumming from Travis Barker, it can't be that bad. It just CANT. Hell, i've got a friend who thinks this is his AOTY, so there has to be some redeeming quality to the music here. There is no way this album is a unironic 0.

That was what I wrote before hearing this album.

So I haven't gone back to edit these next sections. Sorry if it's inconsistent, or not well written, but I wrote this after a pretty harsh time, so take that for what you will. I'm doing better now, but it's gonna take some time till i'm better. Also: MAJOR CONTENT WARNING: Suicide.

Jesus Christ.

I do not mess around when I give things zeroes. Every record has some positives, right?

Well, I had a 3 hour panic attack listening to this album, which I couldn't ask for help since I was supposed to be sleeping. I couldn't move or ask for help. I couldn't even pull the headphones out of my ears. I just had to listen to this. It took my parents walking into my room at 2am to realize this, and helped. That's why i'm giving it a zero. This album fucking harms people.

First off, even before the HORRID lyrics, the music is produced and played like ass. This guy should NOT have a track where it's just him and a piano. The sound this album has is annoying as hell, and not in an interesting, shocking or funny way either. It's just that his voice doesn't suit this type of music. I get this is intentional, but just because it clashes and doesn't work doesn't make this album any meaningful piece of art. Because this is what this album wants to be so bad. A piece of art. Which it isn't, by the way. This isn't a Downward Spiral. This is Fat Mike looking back in his life, and saying 'Look how fucked up I am, i'm more fucked up then you, look at all the horrible things i've done/will do!'. This isn't Fat Mike's attempt at making art from his emotions. It's just shooting off his depressive episodes at you in audio forms that annoy, distract, or are just plain bad. Fat Mike, for all of the sounds that he's attempting in this album, shouldn't be doing any of them. It just doesn't suit the mans voice.

This album is tough to sit through, and NOT in a good way. There is the painful lyrics of records like The Downward Spiral, Wildlife and A Crow Looked At Me, and then there is this. The lyrics are never here to help. The only person that benefits from making this record is Fat Mikes unhealthy lifestyle, because he is blatantly profiting of low quality recordings of 'Cokie' 'singing' about friends deaths, depression, suicide and many other fucked up subjects that paint Fat Mike as a degenerate asshole who has no qualms with making money off of singing about other peoples suffering. Please tell me that the money made from this record is going somewhat to help the families of those effected from the events in this album. I get if you want to tell these stories in a book of some kind (because I could see that being damn interesting) but don't make a fucking album about you just detailing this events. Talk to a therapist about this. Please.

And if these events are in anyway created or fabricated from Fat Mikes brain, then here's a message for him: Fuck you. If any of this is just made up, then your hurting, attacking or fucking with people who have mental issues, including myself. I haven't had suicidal thoughts in so long (Thank fuck) but by the end of the piss pool of a record you created, there they were. Thanks, you have literally put me in the worst mind set I've tried so hard recently to avoid. You really are only helping yourself when your making these songs. Sort this out in fucking therapy dude. I don't want to hear about how people who commit suicide are coward or that your making jabs at people who went through with this type of stuff. I have enough of that with my own mental health. You know your damaging so many people by making this, right, you fucking clown?

Fat Mike, please for the love of GOD, no matter how I've talked about you in this review, don't do anything that would harm yourself. Go see a therapist, please, because you clearly need to see one. And it's not But you need to understand this album sickens me. This album hurt me. This album is god awful, both musically and emotionally. Suicide is not the easy way out you fucking idiotic cunt. Don't profit off of others suicides you fucking ass hat dick. This album will help no-one. It's not helping the victims. In order to help with music, you need to make sure that there is the message of 'you can do this' or 'this is not ok'. But you are presenting this album as if this is just life, then you seriously either need to change, edit or delete this album. I'm being fucking serious, in the state of this album, this will never help anyone going through any mental issues. Ever.

This is a harmful record. It's just Cokie jumping around for attention. Don't give this man any of your attention. This is not OK. And you know what, this album has put me off ever listening to NOFX for the rest of my life. Fuck these guys. I can't risk it.

Fuck this album. I hope this record burns in hell. And so can the cover. Or anyone thinking this album was anything other then a VERY bad idea. And Fat Mike...don't do this again.

Favorite Jams: No

Lest Favorites: Fuck You All, Down With The Ship, Swing and a Miss, This Album, Fat Mikes Views Towards Suicide

EDIT: Also if you think i'm clickbaiting people with my views towards this album, I just have to say this: the fuck is wrong with you?

31 Comments
4y
Hey, I'm really sorry about what this album did to you. I really should've given some sort of warning out, considering I was like the second to review it.
4y
I love you man
This album would have made my day worse should i say for the past 2 weeks

For the past 2 weeks I've been not having enough sleep,having breakdowns at schools and my classmates seeing me at my lowest affects me
4y
Im sorry you had to go thru this
Im here for you if you need any help
4y
I'm really sorry that this album put you through that. This is easily one of the most vile, putrid, disgusting and despicable things I've ever had the displeasure of hearing and I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
4y
@Benny stay far far far away from this album, thanks so much for the kind words, and know that you yourself are not alone. And I'm also here if you need help as well ๐Ÿ’›
4y
@thomasny your fine, u didn't make the album you just reviewed it. Hope your doing ok.
Same goes for you @JustSomeGuy. I'm gonna be much better after some time, and hope you guys are gonna be ok too ๐Ÿ’š
4y
Curiosity was gonna get the better of me, thanks for telling me to stay away. This would've had A LOT of triggers for me, thank you so much.
4y
Also if you ever need to talk I'm here :)
4y
@fakeplasticrose even if it seems entertainingly bad or odd, please don't put yourself through this album. also here if you need a vent dude
4y
Your review convinced me not to listen to this. Great review
4y
great review, i am so sorry you had to experience that but nevertheless that was an excellent write up that scared me out of listening to this lol
4y
@bradtastemusic and @Kanye, i feel as if my work here is done
4y
I was gonna check this out, but after reading this review, I'm gonna stay the fuck away from this. I've been dealing with autism my whole life and other mental issues throughout high school. It's only recently that I've started to see a therapist. With that in mind, this album will probably keep me up at night and give me horrible anxiety. Ima back the hippity hyuck away from this album
4y
You clickbaited me tho, this album doesn’t promote suicide, it just sounds like garbage and is boring
4y
@BradTasteInMusic but it's calling suicide victims cowards and glorifys the horrific act to the point of disgust
4y
The fuck?
4y
I’m gonna stop responding to anything controversial, I’m so bad at wording things in the way I actually mean them. Sorry about that, didn’t mean it that way
4y
It’s a sensitive topic, and I shouldn’t make spontaneous comments like that, sorry.
4y
@TheRealGunna it's allg, just make sure you think about stuff like this before you comment on REALLY sensitive topics
4y
Jesus Christ. How the hell does anybody actually make shit like this? Fuck Fat Mike.
2y
thank you pipe, this review has inspired me to listen to this album just to get that final little push to kill myself
1y
I don't know, I thought it was a good album. And no, he's not profiting off of the awful experiences of others, he's profiting off of horrible episodes in his life that he decided to get off his chest. It's not that different from any other album made about awful life experiences by troubled people, it's just that the lyrics are stark, harsh, and brutally honest with nothing to hide the ugliness that comes with such experiences. It's a deeply personal record made by a guy who has made many poor choices in life, and it shows. As for the music itself, it's not that bad.
1y
I normally don't like to "correct" people about their opinions on music/art, but here I felt that some things should be clarified. First, this album isn't THAT bad as many here say. Yes, it is brutal, bleak and depressing, but not to the point that it would be dangerous. Then, the music is nowhere that bad. Most arrangements are actually quite decent, and the instruments are played quite well. The only thing one could argue about are the vocals, which are really an endurance test. But I think it's intentional and, at least for me, it works. Then, for the general concept, this album is meant to be challenging, abrasive and devastating, lyrically and vocally. It fulfilled all of this with great success, and to give it 0 points for being exactly what it wants to be seems unfair to me. If you don't like this style of music, thats completely okay. But wouldn't it be better then to write about music you like and understand?
1y
2/2 Also, little PS: I think some parts of this review are quite exaggerated and almost a personal insult to the artist. That was another reason for my comment. And, personal unpopular opinion: Wouldn't it be one of the greatest achievements for art if it was really able to invoke such intense feelings. For me this is the crucial point about art, art should disturb, hurt and provoke. But this is just my personal comment on albums like this, I'll probably write an own review if I have time where I can explain this and other thoughts on this project more in depth.
1y
@MF I would agree with this to some degree in the fact that yes, I do believe that art should provoke and allow people to access emotions that they wouldn't previously have. One of my favorite albums, The Downward Spiral, does exactly that for me. But for me, I still stand by what I said. I'm sure they were brought from a real place of torment, and in maturing as a person, I can see what people see in this record. But the way that it's portrayed here does not come off like Fat Mike is just simply using those moments to access the emotions needed to make a point, I.E a Downward Spiral or A Crow Looked at Me, but rather exhibitionistly using his trauma to just fling at these songs without the thought to flesh out. I'm glad you were able to get something out of this record, and if it helped you in your journey then good for you, but I will always stand by this review.
1y
@MF Art shouldn't do anything. Art has as much as an obligation to "disturb, hurt and provoke" as it does to uplift and inspire. I;E it has none. To just blindly accept that a piece of art is shocking and therefore "succeeded" is the most surface level reading of a piece of art. A photo of two gay men kissing in the 1980s is just as subversive as a photo of a guy shitting his pants but the meaning and artistic intent of them are so different that even though they both "shock" it is the meanings of the images that inherently matter. I think it's fair to say this album fails at developing a meaningful substance of anything that extends outside of pure shock value.
1y
Fat Michael
12mo
@Ryan Benis I should have listened to you man. The three songs I heard were disgusting. I literally got this dark feeling and I needed to turn it off. Dark shit.
4mo
I have more than 4K albums in my to-hear list, including Tom MacDonald, Lil Xan, Tones & I, basically all of the notoriously bad albums (obviously mixed with the good albums), and yet I refuse to ever listen to this in my life because of your review. Thank you sir.
4mo
@_gabeag god bless
4mo
NOFX kinda goes tho in all fairness
Sign in to comment.
Advertisement
Rate and review albums along with the AOTY community. Create an account today.
Become a Donor
Donor badge, no ads + more benefits.
More Reviews
JustSomeGuy
Toasterqueen12
JoaoSantos
cakenator
StygianHollow
notbuzzzila
surlace
MusicN
Kuru
joshxxi

February Playlist