Ken M - Climb
Jun 5, 2020
cw: Suicide, Depression, Anxiety

OK. Let's talk about this.

There is a reason i'm talking about this but not for AOTY Days. After putting this review off by making music, listening to nothing but Run the Jewel's or, weirdly enough, binging Scott the Wozz reviews like an actual boy, I feel like I need to give this album and its contents the correct review that they deserve. But in order to talk about certain themes in this record, it has become abundantly clear that I need to talk about something that makes me, people I know and many of you reading very uncomfortable. Suicide. I usually bleep the U in that word in reviews and in messages, but it's time to truly sit down and have a discussion about this with myself.

If you don't want to read this review because of those themes, I understand. I really did not enjoy writing this, but felt it was necessary for A) me to move on from past trauma by admitting to myself that yes, it did happen, and B) to be able to separate myself from my emotional attachment to these themes to review the record the way I want/need to talk about it.
And, if you want my thoughts on the record without all of the emotional attachment, then I think it's a really great emotional synth pop record, extremely good lyricism, weighty and in your face vocal delivery but I overall think the mix can be improved and cannot weight to see Ken M iron out these problems.

OK. Here we go.

I cannot, and I mean, cannot talk about the track 'Fear' without bringing up some extremely open portions of my life up into the public. So, let's get this out of the way. The lyrics in 'Fear' touch me in a way that makes me extremely uncomfortable, because about 2 years ago, I made an attempt to jump off a bridge. The details of 'why' I cannot fully say in confidence, but in honestly, you can listen 'Fear' and that portrays almost EXACTLY why. A combination of depression and anxiety. It's a fucking brutal feeling, standing there. Knowing that you don't want to do it, but your brain keeps yelling at you 'Why not?'. Yes, uncomfortable. But it did happen. And so, every-time I hear this song 'Fear', i'm overwhelmed with emotion that I cannot fully articulate. It's...powerful, in a way I never wanted to hear. we are.

For completely transparity, i've attempted suicide twice, once at the bridge and another after a Brockhampton show. And, for those reading now wondering if i'm ok, at the point of reading this, I am fine. I'm in a much better mental state right now and I don't feel this sense of despair and suicidal tendencies as much, so i'm doing better. A lot of people see people overcoming depression and anxiety and think that they are cured, but really they are just 'better' and more 'comfortable' with it. It's something that lingers forever, but (at else right now) I am not letting it control who I am or how I act. I am not speaking for everyone: I am speaking for myself.

So hearing 'Fear', 'Glisten' and pretty much every track on this album completely destroyed me, in the way where now this album has plunged its way into my heart. Ken M talks with such honesty that it makes me not cry, but become completely and utterly numb when I listen to it. Some people have 'Twin Fantasy' as their go to sad record, but recently it's been 'Climb'. Everytime I listen to this album, it sends a lot of nostalgic sense of sadness and horror into me that is difficult for me to talk about the sonical qualities correctly.

I could sit hear and say that the albums flaws do lie more in the lofi aspect of this record, which makes songs like 'Hospital' and 'No Immortals' a little grading on repeated listens, and when Ken tries to go into falsetto vocals, it just doesn't work out for him. And I could say that some songs are a little short, and it works much better as an EP instead of looking it as an album. It's a long EP, but an EP none the less. And I could list my favorite jams/lest favorite but that's just going to be impossible.

Every goddamn listen to this album is a cathartic listen. From 'You Did It Wrong's self hatred, to 'Glisten' and 'Fear's blatant themes of suicide, to the themes of drug abuse/toxic relationships 'My Perfect Drug' (and as someone who was addicted to Prozac which I was allergic to for a good portion of high school, this hit home to well), this is a bleak album. Sometimes overbearingly so. It's like a millennial version of 'The Downward Spiral' but so much more numb instead of purely destructive. The distant production just adds to the distressing amount of realness to the subject matter that this album provides.

So...yeah. I cannot properly review this album. And I feel a weird guilt in saying that. I pride myself in being able to say "Hey, this album is great because of X y and Z!" but I cannot do that here. So, sorry Ken M that I can't give your album a proper shake, but I will say that this album made me feel an immense emotional experience that very few albums give me. I hope that you grow as an artist and hope that you are doing OK!

For those who want to help mental health, then here are some NZ based links for you to look through. If you want to look through more USA based websites, then I implore you to find those links and donate. Every penny helps.

I do want to say, before this 'review' ends that this is really personal for me, and I really want to avoid the subject in the future. But, felt it was necessary here. I don't want to get 'free likes' for exploring mental health issues. I just want to talk about my experience with this issue. I hope it doesn't come off as preachy.

I hope everyone is having a good day. The account has been doing really well recently, so thank you to everyone that reads these! Now, let's continue with the dick jokes, shall we?
Jun 5, 2020
"So...yeah. I cannot properly review this album. And I feel a weird guilt in saying that. I pride myself in being able to say "Hey, this album is great because of X y and Z!"

Ironically this is the best reccomendation for this album I've ever heard. WOW man. This review it just.....WOW
Jun 5, 2020
Jun 6, 2020
I'm very proud of you <3
Jun 6, 2020
@TreyLikesBands @Toasterqueen12 ❤️❤️❤️
Jun 6, 2020
and @Plats an extra ❤️❤️❤️ to you
Jun 6, 2020
much love! glad youre in a better headspace than you used to be.
Jun 6, 2020
Funnily enough this just makes me want to listen to it more. You know I've dealt with a lot of suicidal thoughts and themes, I've talked about them a lot in my reviews. When music hits you in that way it's intense and it's difficult, but it's beautiful as well. Reading that made me cry and, me being my autistic self I compare it to my own experiences, because that's how my brain works. I'm not gonna repeat things I've already said, you can just read my telepath review if you want to cry but, I never got as close as you did, in that sense. I never stared death in the face and then backed down and... That's immensely brave, it's inspiring. You're strong whether you think you are or aren't. While I've definitely been more open about my experiences I'm just a lot more comfortable with the topic I suppose but it's difficult, it's so difficult sometimes to comprehend what you have done, or almost did.

You're strong, and you're so brave for talking about this ♥️💙
Jun 6, 2020
@Supertatory bless you, this made my night.
Jun 6, 2020
Jun 7, 2020
Thank you.
Jun 7, 2020
Holy shit. I do know this project is flawed and I'm trying to improve but seeing someone emotionally connect to it so much is really something else. It gives me a feeling as an artist I've never really felt before.
Jun 7, 2020
@Jebus thank you for making this album, I appreciate you for this ♥️
Jun 7, 2020
Pipe... I fuckin love you man. This is probably my favorite review from you. I'm so glad you're doing better. <3

also fuck yeah scott the woz gang
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