Weezer - Van Weezer
May 7, 2021
300th Review Special!... yeah, this isn't that special anymore

So, just some hours ago I had posted an extremely lackluster review on this record, which was totally half-baked and absolutely just done to be done, so... I've decided to remake it because c'mon, this is literally the thing I have been waiting for the most since 2019, and for as much as it isn't what I wanted, I still want my review to reflect the way I feel towards this record.

And yeah, for as much as I wanted to stretch it, this album is a genuine disappointment. I mean, I know it's Weezer, a band that either makes the worst thing you've ever heard or an album that you'll love for the rest of your life, this is easily the most inconsistent band I know of, but, I think that genuinely shouldn't be an excuse for what they ended up delivering here. They're literally playing to their strengths, doing what they do best, which is making dumb fun guitar music, and this time, they couldn't even do that? They had already done it once with "EWBAITE", this time it seemed as if the guys were actually enjoying what they were making, yet, they once more let us all down with a record that lacks in almost any imaginable aspect.

Hear me out, I do enjoy the first 4 songs, they're amazing, and I'd even argue that "The End of the Game" and "All The Good Ones" are two of the best modern Weezer songs. I want to point out the latter of the two I just mentioned, which to me, is the song that literally saves the album from being a bunch of smoke, just like "The Black Album" was, this song is seriously amazing and it's such a shame that it's the only actual decent deep cut on this thing. I also liked the final two tracks... but not that much. "She Needs Me" is really dumb, like, really really dumb, but, I can't deny I enjoyed that chorus, and that kinda saves the song for me. "Precious Metal Girl" is fine I guess, it tries doing something like what "Endless Bummer" did on "The White Album", but it sucks because there's no real emotion to this song, it just closes the record down and then the album just fades away, leaving nothing but the first 4 songs to actually look forward to.

Then the rest of the tracks that I haven't mentioned are either extremely forgettable or just bad. "1 More Hit", what the hell is this song!? It just flat-out sucks, "Blue Dream" is also really bad, just... oh my god what the hell!? Then "Sheila Can Do It"... no, she can't do it, she will never do it. Finally, and my biggest complaint, what did they do to "Beginning of the End"? Oh my god man, this version sounds terrible comparing it to the one that came out last year, it sounds rushed and poor comparing it to the Wyld Stallyns version and I don't know why, after hearing that version, they still pushed for this one.

There's not much I can say, the first 4 songs are actually really good, but that's pretty much it, the album had so much potential to be great, yet Weezer once more prove that they haven't recovered from the three trainwrecks they released before "OK Human". It's also such a shame because this could've been Weezer's second big return to being good, but I guess we'll have to wait even longer to say that. This record is simply one more addition to Weezer's discography, and nothing else, sadly.

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