Sooooooooooooo....

I’ve decided to check this album out. This “review” is nothing like I’ve done before. I was just writing notes during my listen (like I usually do) but I just decided to post them without edit as a “first listen experience” if you will. I honestly couldn’t be bothered into forming these thoughts into a full review. This album didn’t deserve that.

Now I proudly present my journey. Enjoy:

PRE ALBUM

>I’m gonna go into this with an open mind.
>I know everyone thinks this is terrible, but they thought the same about Speedin Bullet 2 Heaven and I thought it was pretty fine
>Melon says it’s worse than Supermarket, and 3 out of 4 reviews has this at a 0/100. I’ll be optimistic and go in with the mindset of: “it’s been misunderstood”
>oops almost forgot my snack
> here weeeee goooo!!

TRACK #1 - “Bathtub”

> awwwwwwww fuck.
> why are there such long silent pauses?
> he is sounds exactly like how imagine a heroin addict Pennywise to sound like.
> ok his voice is getting annoying
> ok now an instrument is here!
> wait it’s just a fucking keyboard and he’s playing 4 single notes off time
> these lyrics are unintentionally hilarious

“I took off my high heels and looked around the suite /But I had to take a piss first, that's when I saw her in the bathtub”

> come on, he’s not even fucking trying
> my practice sessions sound better than this. And I would never in a million years have an ego so big I’d think it’s a good idea to release them.
> worst opener I’ve heard this year. It’s Corey Feldman level, but at least Corey “tried”


TRACK #2 “Fair Leather Friends”

> these lyrics. Holy fucking shit.
> My little bro has a better idea of how to write a song. He is also 12 fucking years old.
> This song has a decent message. However it’s executed Tommy Wiseau style.
> this motherfucker took the most generic drum loop and didn’t edit it LOL
> once again, my Z sides practice sounds better than this
> ok this is actually hilarious
> my ex-postman Rashad had a better delivery than this guy. Side note - Rashad would regularly give my deliveries to the address across the street. He got fired after getting over 40 complaints in 2 months.
>
“And I guess I'm just naive, because I never expected / That the woman I loved could be so disrespected / By her fair leather friends dishonorable shit talkers / And mine who are just conservatives that think they're punk rockers / The truth is that they couldn't stand our sexual feats”
LMAOOOOOO
> oh god, oh fuck, oh god these lyrics get even worse
> Jesus fucking Christ I need alcohol
> that was a 2nd 0/10 song in a row... can’t get worse than this surely?

TRACK #3 “The Queen Is Dead”

> I feel so happy for Naja. She got away.
> He’s so off key lmao. At least correct it in post production dude...
> this motherfucker doesn’t sound like Pennywise anymore. He now sounds like one of my old friend’s uncle after he got drunk when we used to go round their house to play poker
> side note - that same uncle became a registered sex offender last December. In some way, I really thought that was relevant to this artist.
> Ok at least there is SOME development
> well, so far this is twice as good as the first 2 tracks.
> 2 x 0 = 0.
> thank fuck these tracks are only 3 and a half minutes.
> Suddenly... I really want to listen to The Smiths??


TRACK #4 “Swing and a Miss”

> Ok this is actually pretty fucked up.
> Dude if you wanna tell the story about how your close friend committed suicide, just write about it. Who wants to listen to this for fun?
> Suddenly... I really wanna do a Jagerbomb.
> On a serious note, if you’re gonna tell a story so devastating as this one, please for the love of god don’t sing it like this or have this type of mood and sound. It’s actually taking the piss.
> He’s talking about Mount Eerie level of sad, yet I feel nothing. I’m numb
> “I heard him hit the floor while I was cooking beans / He said the whip broke and he split his head on the sink / That's when a normal person probably intervenes / But the actual words that I said to him, were, Dude don't do that again”

FUCK YOU FOR THESE LYRICS. FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU, FUCK YOU

> As somebody who’s struggled with depression and suicidal thoughts, this is the worst fucking song I’ve probably heard. How dare you release this.
> I’m debating if I should continue listening.
> Jerry deserved better. R.I.P

TRACK #5 “Down with the Ship”

> This shit fucking sucks.
> “Steered the ship into the cliffs” ???
> this fucking instrumental is painful
> is this song about how suicide ruins the life of others in your life? If so did he really think that calling suicidal people “cowards” and “selfish” was really going to help?
> oh if you’re reading this and have the same type of opinion as this guy when it comes to people struggling with mental health, depression, and suicidal thoughts: go ahead and block/unfollow me. Fuck You too.
> As someone who’s struggled with these issues for such a long time, I really hope people receive a better education regarding mental health and realise WHY it’s the number 1 epidemic in Western society today. Just please educate yourself.
> this is a fucking train wreck of an album. There is no redeeming qualities. But I’m in too deep, might as well finish it, past the halfway mark now.
> God help me, this is Angelic 2 the Core 2: Electric Boogaloo

TRACK #6 “Negative Reel”

> “l see patterns no one else can see, in Switzerland I see reverse Nazis / I'm an opposite, I'm a negative reel, I don't understand how other people feel”

Noooooo dude!!! God is dead. We killed him.

> “Why waste a night laying naked together when we could be confined in latex or black leather? / I love to kiss right before I'm gagged, I like the challenge of breathing inside a plastic bag”

Why THE FUCK did you write this? Who thinks up of this shit Jesus Fucking Christ...

> “That's why I like to hang on meat hooks from the ceiling / The only way I can turn off my brain is through exquisite pain”

> I don’t need to explain why this is the fucking worst right? We’re all on the same page here?
> This album is fucking disgusting. I’ve never wanted an experience to be over as much since my last colonoscopy.

TRACK #7 “That Time I Killed My Mom”

> Haven’t heard a second of this yet, but honestly this is the most fucked up song you can do and if it’s anything like I imagine it to be I’m skipping it.
> Bro why the fuck am I laughing at this??? “sweetie, you gotta take me out.” LMAOOO
> Fuck you Clown for making me feel like a terrible person, but you literally shat over your own mum’s grave. If hell exists, you’re going there after this 1 chief.
> I’ve paused this at 1 min in and refuse to listen to the rest of this song.
> I read the lyrics and it’s a fucking joke. It’s so bad, it’s funny. The fucking Percocet line has me in stitches...
> Your mum deserved much better than this... R.I.P.


TRACK #8 “Fuck You All”

> No. Fuck YOU, you piece of shit.
> I can’t bear this.
> I was gonna comment on the songwriting, but nah. I can’t be bothered. I’ve already put way more effort into this than it deserves.
> So far its 0/10. Let’s see if there is ANY saving grace in these last 2 tracks. Something tells me to not hold my breath though.. (except this fucking clown)

TRACK #9 “Pre-Arraigned Marriage”

> LMAO THIS SONG
> Suddenly, I hate sex.
> This is the funniest song of the year hahahahahahababzbzv
> Seriously considering trolling people with this
> I’d rather snort cocaine off James Charles’s dick every day, for the rest of my life rather than listen to these songs again.

TRACK #10 “Punk Rock Saved My Life”

> I agree with this one. Your dad WAS a shithead. He didn’t use a condom.
> this is one of the worst Punk rock songs I’ve ever heard. AND IVE HEARD A LOT of shitty punk songs
> Suddenly NAV doesn’t seem like a bad choice of music
> what is happening to me???
> this isn’t real. this isn’t real.
> fuck, it is.
> you know what fuck it.
I give up.
I’m exhausted.



Aaaand that was it! I can now say, I 100% hate clowns. Yep, this album gave me Coulrophobia. Fuck You, Mike, you fat bastard.

Everything about this is fucking disgusting and awful. If it’s not the sound, it’s the lyrics. If it’s not the lyrics, it’s his voice. The fucking subject matters are just the toppings of this Cake of shit. This album makes Supermarket sound like one of Mozart’s symphonies and Jake Paul being 2Pac’s ghostwriter. This is the same alternate reality universe this album thrives in.

This is unquestionably, 100% the worst piece of shit album of the year. You get a fucking 🍩/10 for this one. WAOTY 2019.


Corey Feldman would be proud.
3 Comments
May 19, 2019
This is amazing. Sure, I hate this album, but if it leads onto this review is it technically a masterpiece then?
May 19, 2019
Holy shit Fat Mike’s a genius?!?
May 22, 2019
So I left a comment before about this album with "What are these lyrics". But after listening to this album, I can safely say that this review is the only enjoyable thing about this album.
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