Burial - Untrue
Apr 8, 2019 (updated Dec 26, 2019)
I'd like to talk about my day if you don't mind?

I woke up today at 8:43 AM wanting McDonalds. I couldn't understand why, I'm so sick of McDonalds. Most of the time the thought of a Big Mac makes me sick, but here I am with an unrequited lust for mcnuggets. Like holy shit I want me some nuggies. I talk myself out of it:

"You're supporting corporate billionaires."
"You need to lose a few pounds."
"You need to save your money."

I get out of bed and walk into the kitchen for breakfast. I couldn't find anything and I ate my last bowl of mini wheats just last night. My parents are in the kitchen talking about my dad's stress. Naturally, I try to comfort my dad and somehow the conversation turns into a life lesson. My dad shrugs it off and says he's "got it good". I smile for him, but I make a subtle joke on how I'm feeling on the subject.

"Meanwhile I'm getting underpaid." I jokingly mutter. My mom gives me that typical motherly look, picking up on my hint.
"Well, you're at the age where it's all about the hustle. You just gotta keep pushing."
I go blank in the face.
"Well. I'm still stressed out." I thought about saying more, but I hesitated. Feeling astranged, I walk out of the room. I've had this conversation way too many times to know it's a fruitless endeavor.

I started a load of laundry and I went to go tend to my plants. My favorite pastime! I even found some new sprouts! A sunflower and a baobab.
"This year is getting off to a good start." I think to myself.

My phone buzzes and I go to check it. I get a tell on tellonym (an anonymous question app) and I get a little giddy. Usually this is a time where I feel heard in the world. I open it and my energy just sunk to my shoes.

"Name the most attractive friends you have"

I get questions like this more often than I like to. I asked for it to stop, but they just kept coming. Romanticism is a sensitive subject to me. The last time I answered a similar question it led to a two week on and off again stint with a friend. I put my phone away.

"I'll answer it later." I tell myself.

I walk inside to my room. I'm suddenly exhausted despite not doing much. I realized I haven't eaten. I think about McDonalds again.....I start browsing their online menu. A minute later my mom walks in.

"Hey, I'm having you drive your sisters to feed your aunt's cats later on today." She says to me. I just say "okay." and she walks off. I start to get frustrated. It's a little task, but something about the way she said it hit a nerve. I shrug it off. I can grab some McDonalds and get some gas for work this week. I go with my sisters. I buy them slurpees while we're out. Talking about snake care and what anime they've been watching recently. Fruits Basket and Death Note to be exact. Sibling bonding at it's finest there. After getting gas at Arco, I'm driving back to home deciding if I REALLY want McDonalds or not. I see a Deli Delicious and I think out loud.

"I haven't eaten today." I said.

My sisters become flabbergasted. Understandably so. We pull over and I go to grab a sandwich. I've never ordered at a Deli D before so I ask for the #43 (buffalo chicken & jack on Dutch crunch) expecting chips and a drink. They didn't tell it up and I felt too embarrassed to ask. My sandwich is unsatisfactory. Was it really worth the $6? I'm still hungry too. I finally get around to answering the tell I recieved earlier.

"I'm sorry, but I can't answer this one again. I have the same level of admiration and love for all my friends" I responded.

I really want something to drink. Something in particular, but I can't put my finger on it. At this point I'm just depressed and I need to do something. I walk over to arco. I think about a soda, but I see an organic energy drink. When I'm depressed I want all the unhealthy shit so I force myself to buy this drink and a Mexican Coca-Cola for tomorrow. I get home and have my drink. It's nasty. It tastes like cherry laffy taffy. I finish it anyways. I didn't want my $4 to go to waste. I sit in my bed for a few hours listening to music. Mostly Have a Nice Life. I think about writing a review, but I decide not to. I see my phone is buzzing about my tell. I have three notifications. One I answer but divert the conversation towards something else, one I leave on read and one I ignore. I still haven't answered it.

I hop on an app called amino for the first time in ages. I check to see if a certain person is on. I'm trying to give them space...
Coast is clear!
I talk with some online buddies. We joke around and share music like usual. Nobody asks why I've been gone for quite some time and I'm better with that honestly. Despite having a good time I actually wanted out of the conversation sooner then I thought. Not because we were talking about prom or anything like that. I wasn't really sure why. In a way, I think I was just more comfortable being alone. Was I building a wall? Someone called me out on it recently so I'm aware I'm doing it subconsciously. I'm just afraid of being hurt or hurting others. I start to overthink my situation and I leave without saying a word.

My mom asks me to do some dishes and at this point I'm shaking in my bed. I'm emotionally worn out and tomorrow is work. I don't know how I'm going to pay for my license & registration ($386) and work is tomorrow too. I can't remember what I did this weekend other than work. Work work work....yet it still wasn't enough. I put on this album. I just want something ambient. Everything else is meandering to me. As I'm washing the dinner plates I start to think about my review for this album. I think about how forgettable it was. I didn't understand why it got on the popular page. I think I just wanted to write something despite not having anything to write about. I knew I'd come back to it. Maybe I subconsciously wrote a memo? I go to read it and I find an edit I made. It's a quote from Burial himself on a track fittingly called "In McDonalds":

"They seem to have people all around them, but that’s actually not true. Sometimes you’re surrounded by mates but you’re not surrounded by friends. You feel protective of people, because no matter who we are, we all return to quite a vulnerable place, a flat, mates, a family, a room or whatever. You can see through all that stuff, a lot of young people artificially take on adult issues, that have maybe been pushed at them, or maybe they’re living out an adult relationship, proper life issues, maybe their family isn't looking out for them anymore, other serious stuff that you can't take lightly. I've seen that if you take on that stuff early on, it fucks you up. My new tunes are about that, wanting an angel watching over you, when there's nowhere to go and all you can do is sit in McDonalds late at night, not answering your phone."

I seize up, holding back tears. I get the idea to write this conundrum of a post. It's 10:47 PM now. I tell my parents I'm going to buy french fries. I drive a few blocks to McDonalds. Dine-in is closed. Bummer. I go to the drive thru only to remember my window doesn't work so I open my door to order

- 20 chicken nuggets
- 1 large order of fries
... I think about a drink
- 1 snack size oreo mcflurry

Total: $11.07

That's not quite what I want though. I still couldn't place my finger on it. The car in front of me is recieving their order as I'm contemplating. I notice they take a large orange juice.

"THAT'S WHAT I WANT!" I think to myself. I feel too embarrassed to ask for an additional purchase, especially with me opening my door to take my order. For the third time today, I walk into arco. I buy an overpriced orange juice. I get home and give my sisters the mcflurry. I go to my room and in five minutes I eat almost everything.

"Fuck. This is all I've wanted today."

There's a reason why albums like this have been classified by it's biggest admirers as "experiences" rather than your typical listen. There's few words you can use to describe it to an audience. Often, our experiences are far too subjective to explain despite being incredibly impactful to us. I'm fully aware this post only really makes sense to me. Sometimes, you just have to write for yourself. What I'm currently experiencing with this album is a level of catharsis unique to 'Untrue'. It clicked in other words, if you want to use that term. Like a tell from tellonym, I feel heard. Understood by some random bloke who doesn't even know I exist. How Burial did that for so many people is beyond me. Breaking down this album does it no justice. You just need to go out there and experience it for yourself. You might just find yourself, unbeknownst to you, waking up like me really craving chicken nuggets. Something so sudden and out of place that it shakes your rather mundane schedule for the better. Oh, but don't worry though. It's just the hustle. It shouldn't stress you out too much.

Original memo:

Man...that album cover is accurate.

Honestly, what can I say that hasn't already been said? Literally!...just read the plethora of reviews here! Whether you're a casual listener looking for something breezy and challenging or a connoisseur who wants intricate detail this is the album for you. There's never a moment where this album falters! So pour some coffee or tea and let the sounds carry you away.
(Is it just me or does "texture" as a word have a certain texture to it?)
Apr 8, 2019
Gavin's Memoir #274: All About Mcdonalds
Apr 8, 2019
I swear these reviews get more and more engaging, interesting and well written. I swear you should just write a book.
Apr 8, 2019
Thank you Gavin, very cool!
Apr 8, 2019
How do you write reviews so good?
Apr 13, 2019
Never did I think I would be so entertained by someone telliing me about McDonalds. Context works I guess.
Apr 14, 2019
next review you're gonna be writing an entire novel, cause wow
Jun 15, 2019
I mean there nuggets are actually pretty good though not gonna lie
Jul 1, 2019
reading this while listening to the album really hits, jesus.
Aug 14, 2019
This...this is the best review I’ve ever read.
Dec 26, 2019
I just noticed an awful typo that has to be fixed. "Bondage" and "bonding" are two very different things. Sorry that this is reappearing in your feed y'all! Thank you for the kind words.
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