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Soul-Rupturing Sandstorm: A Collective's Peak

(Sources and footnotes are included at the bottom.)

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The scene: a quiet, still, mellow Daytona evening in November 2018. My boyfriend (now husband :3) had splurged on a shiny new bong. We were lounging on frayed folding chairs in his cluttered garage, one of us packing a bowl with tacky, purple, potent marijuana. The weather was pleasant; dense Floridian humidity ... read more

Farce to Farce

One of those unsatisfying low pressure farts that doesn't even have a nice pungent odor. You know, when it feels like the gas doesn't even give a shit if it escapes your butt. No glory, no triumph, no catharsis. Just a sad piddly poot.

This record foreshadows the slightly more tolerable dumpster fire that was Making a Door Less Open: wack-ass lyrics (the ones that were changed, I mean), fugly electronic ornamentation for which I suspect Andrew Katz is to blame ... read more

Talent and Toil

As far as music goes, my mom skews further towards accessibility than do I. But insofar as singing voices, she's prickly as pine needles. Billie? Straight to the the bin. Elvis? Helluva performer, but no business on any serious list of all-time vocalists. Lennon, Dylan, Byrne, Madonna, unlistenable.

For her, vocal greatness is embodied by Aretha Franklin, Donny Hathaway, Whitney Houston, Marvin Gaye, Christina Aguilera, Stevie Wonder, Al Green. Artists with firepower, ... read more

They Are Like Us

This diss is like a funeral home flooded with six inches of sewage. Stagnant, decrepit, and reeking past disgust into numbness.

Drake has wobbled on a tightrope of plausible deniability regarding his interactions with young women for years. For some he's unambiguously plummeted into predation. He did it to himself. Who gets on stage and mack modes a 17 year old? What 30-something man sends mushy texts to a minor? Why do rumors and whispers of him getting close to ... read more