I know most of my reviews are very wordy, lengthy excuses for me to expound infinitely on a listening experience I had on some fucking Tuesday when I was 15 or whenever, but come on, what can I say here? What words do justice to this experience. It needs to be witnessed first-hand, either by LP or anime. Every track slams (Fuck you, "Too Long" is not Too Long) and does something radically different that the last track didn't do. It just has you coming back wanting more each and every ... read more

This is a genuinely perfect song. Start to finish, they accomplish everything they set out to do with aplomb. More importantly, it stirs up some of the most sincere, heartfelt feelings of love and optimism of any song ever. It's a perfect storm of quality songwriting, soul, and magic that makes up one the single most pleasurable listening experiences put to a 45.

The 0th Björk single

One of the most unexpected and tragic developments in popular music that you could someday be considered a poser for standing by the fucking Clash. There's a lot that can be attributed to this - the band's inability to properly follow up their biggest album, their tragic dissolution, their self-merchandising, rock-and-roll lifestyle - but perhaps the biggest among them is that Rolling Stone would call London Calling the greatest album of 1979. Could there be a bigger kick-me sign in rock music? ... read more

I think the reason I've always preferred this, Blackstar, and the Berlin Trilogy to anything else in Bowie's career is the sheer level of intimacy. At least, as intimate as an artist can get without betraying their alien-sex-god-daemon persona. I feel like Hunky Dory just had a generally higher level sophistication than anything else the glam scene was putting out at the time, many equalled only by Roxy Music.

We find the artist in the awkward point between his early-career innocence and the ... read more

I would've shit my pants if I'd heard this in 1967, and I base that off the fact that I'm shitting my pants listening to this in 2021.

The "Amnesiac" of Bowie's career - a satisfying collection of great tracks from a seminal era for the artist, but ultimately lacking in enough cohesion and, bizarrely enough, identity to let it stand out on its own. In fact, identity crisis is exactly what this album seems to be about; it sees Bowie soak in his alienation and inability to capture the attention of American audiences, who had yet to warmly receive his high-brow pretentions. That contributes heavily to Aladdin Sane's ... read more

This album sits in its own comfy little corner of my favorite records of all time. Its nature is so intimate and personal that it defies hierarchy. No matter how I slice it, it just refuses to force itself into my mind, it just kind of peacefully resides in the background, putting a smile on my face whenever it happens to cross my mind.

If the immediate impact of this album is lost on you, I don't blame you. Its basic four-chord structures, quaint use of instruments, vaudeville aesthetic, and ... read more

One of the least pretentious, unashamed-of-itself songs ever released. It's designed to lick your wounds to, and I have eternal respect for Michael Stipe for releasing something so daringly, confrontationally honest.

Sorry, Bowie, you're still my favorite artist of all time, but man, did Nirvana blow you out of the water on this one. The simple fact is you didn't "sell the world" by 1969, you wouldn't do that for another 14 years. Kurt Cobain - HE sold the fucking world, and I mean that literally, the man was an actual victim of fame. Not to mention that guitar solo is a small chunk of heaven cut onto a disc, and it shreds way harder than your ghostly moaning.

And the craziest part? This isn't ... read more

Pain.

This song makes me feel like I'm stepping out of a train station, jet-lagged, sleepy, and half-sober, seeing the lights of Tokyo or Manhattan or something in one hazy, nocturnal blur, guided only by the vague assertion that I belong here; that I somehow tower over anyone who has ever lived here or anywhere, and yet am a part of something bigger than myself. It's exhilarating and it's spiritual. It's fulfilling.

Yeah, this is just too much for me, and I listen to Swans' early output for fun. I feel bad for even having a musical "limit", but fuck me, these are the sounds of hell. I guess as I get older I become more aware and, consequently, afraid of concepts like agony, decay, and death, and I don't want to spend my scant free time making myself miserable by choking down these unpleasant realities. Maybe I'm just a precious goody-goody who thinks it's constructive to waste people's time with ... read more

"Nah man, it's satirical, he's making fun of working-class indolence and-"

Nah. He's fucking thumping tubs, and it's better that way.

Brian: "Alright guys, I just wrote this swirling, majestic orchestral composition. Mike, you handle the lyrics."

Mike: "Uh, huh huh huh, California girls are like, hot and stuff, uh huh huh huh. They have giant boobs."

Allow me to put this to rest, all two of you who have never listened to this album - this is one of the greatest pieces of music ever recorded, let alone albums. There isn't one second of wasted record space. Each song is intensively crafted, orgasmic, wistful; just an absolute wellspring of melancholia and bittersweet optimism. If anyone tries to tell you this record is dated or has poorly aged, fuck 'em, they just want to sound cool. And that alone should speak volumes to this album's ... read more

The Stranglers really popped off in 1684 with this one.

This album has given me cause to coin the term "Inception Shitpost." As you might imagine, it's a shitpost's shitpost. The Room would be embarrassed to be seen next to it. It's going for the same effect as something like the aforementioned film but either lacks the self-awareness to make it work, or worse, simply reeks of desperation. It's the difference between The Eric Andre Show and that video of the guy at McDonald's rolling on the floor asking for szechwan sauce - one is an ... read more

One of my grievances with To Be Kind is the zeitgeist that it's created around repetitive album with lengthy tracks. To Be Kind wasn't a great album because it contained those things, it was a great album because it was nuanced, polished, ambitious, and fully committed to its larger-than-life scope. It FELT universal, and it couldn't have been made the way it wasn't unless it was such a sprawling, churning record. Simple, effective riffage works when it serves as a canvas for bigger ideas that ... read more

To me, Ichiko Aoba's "Windswept Adan" is really something beautiful. And reading this, you're going to think that means very little. In which case, let me rephrase - "Windswept Adan" isn't JUST something beautiful, it's a hand-cut chunk of beauty itself. It's a representation of beauty in music form. And, miraculously, it never crumbles under the weight of its pomposity, or lack thereof. It's not an epic record; Aoba instead ops for relaxation. This album is you on the ... read more