Boy, it's great. Theft World by Lip Critic just informed me that Frankie Munez is famous for being the spokesman for kid cuisine. He was so in with this brand that he had to go undercover as a child actor and commit to several Hollywood projects lasting decades, thus solidifying his place in pop culture and allowing him to sneak into Paris Hilton’s pack of Beverly Hills criminals. Once he had an entire armada of A list marketing jockeys he brought them all to his house in the valley ... read more

It's so fun, every self titled album should be like this.

Scratched an itch I thought would've gone uncharted for eons within 3 seconds.

Boy, it's ok. Piss In The Wind by Joji accidently spin kicked the head off of a street performer on the Venice board walk for doing a fairly good impression of stand-up comedian, William Montgomery. This album has nothing against street freaks or funny ginger men but would play Kill Tony compilations featuring The Big, Red Machine exclusively before bed and leave them playing overnight. William's Aphex Twin related screams would sync themselves into the alarm clock and as a sort of ... read more

Boy, it's great. Good Girl Gone Bad by Rihanna owes 40 million dollars to the Coca-Cola company for uploading a sketch video to TheBomb.com set behind the counter of an independent movie theater. Behind the counter were two soft drink dispensers from Coke but because they were made and operated by an entirely separate movie theater not associated with Coca-Cola, they included a line for Dr. Pepper. Unbeknownst to me, this was against Soda law and because these were two different companies ... read more

Boy, it's great. EUSEXUA Afterglow by FKA twigs recently bought the New Raspberry Holiday Pie Bar Ultimate Hydration Body Cream from the Bath and Body Works Collaboration with Milk Bar, NYC's #1 Bakery that ships desserts nationwide. I first applied the cream on November 1st of this year and the scent has not gone away in the two weeks since I put it on. Everywhere I go people ask me if I fell into a delicious Raspberry pie or if I brought dessert to the office and spilled some on my ... read more

Yeah, I'm up in the swamp. Yeah, I'm feelin' like Donkayy

Boy, it's whatever. Save Rock and Roll by Fall Out Boy saved me from falling out of a collapsing room in a high rise building and rolled my body to safety. My name? Rock. this album is about how it feels to save a life, my life. Each track is a chapter in the four second story of the time half of K-mart HQ fell into a sink hole and my work husband Gog grabbed my huge bicep connected to necco wafer sized wrist and rolled my ass into the breakroom, providing me with at least another 20 ... read more

Boy, it's great. Psycho Warrior: MG Ultra X by Machine Girl just recently celebrated their Twelve Trundenth birthday and had no friends to cut the big cupcake with. This album has killed everyone they have ever met and to their own deep regret has been longing for the sweet laughter from an adequate companion. Speaking of companions, how cool was it when you got to become a werewolf in Skyrim. One second chillin' with a pack of lowkey racist vikings in an upside down ship and the next ... read more

I fucking hate you Rolling Stone

Boy, it's great. Carpe Diem, Moonman by Psychedelic Porn Crumpets has recently became a spokesman for Cysco Foods. After four decades of service as a line cook in New York's most familial and rough-around-the-edges kitchens on the East Side 132 L train harbor avenues this album was contacted by a sickly little goblin man in an all black suit with a red tie asking if they would like to represent the biggest food supplier in the United States and take trips to restaurants all across ... read more

Boy, it's good. punk2 by brakence has recently been on a bit of a fried pizza kick. For those of you who live under a rock, this album recently attended a a roadside carnival that had a large variety of experimental slop. Everything from grilled ice cubes to pop vinyl pudding. One vendor was even selling aged parmesan on an expired Duracell battery. It was magical. But, oh yeah I was talking about the fried pizza. Uh, it's when you take a pizza and airfry it. I've seen a lot of ... read more

Boy, it’s amazing. Getting Killed by Geese put Planters Peanuts in their great value tiramisu. This album didn’t even know Walmart carried their own brand of gelato but for $2.80 they would have to be a wet chunk of concrete not to purchase it. When this album cracked open that plastic enclosure they were greeted by the brisk aroma of cold coffee and the scent of milk from the smartest cow in Hemet California. I once took a trip through Hemet to celebrate the death of my greatest ... read more

Boy, it's bad. The Life of a Showgirl by Taylor Swift stole my priceless solid emerald statue of Roronoa Zoro from the hit series One Piece. It was the center piece to my desert orchid garden and now that it's been stolen I only sleep every 5 days as I spend the extra hours trailing the masked bandit's location and setting up checkpoints with the local movie theater ushers as the thief in question is a huge fan of Taylor Swift and, luck be a lady, her new hit album is in theaters ... read more

Boy, it's good. BLACKTHORN by Ayegy has been the victim of identity theft perpetrated by a crafty individual known online as Billy Bass using MY face and website for the purpose of financial gain in a quest to make a billion dollars and cover the medical bills for an experimental elixir that cures memory loss. In his path towards literal understanding he got his thieving little hands on some deepfake software and access to all of my personal accounts including admin permissions to ... read more

Boy, it's Brutiful. Based on a True Story by Willow's dad follows the story of the concept of an idea infused with a sense of self undefined as it enters a transition of relating to the truest being active at a time of one's struggle to find peace in an overwhelming personality incapable of being contained in a vessel too perfect for current mentalities and medicine. This is about a journey of healing, thoughts and prayers, love, light and literature. The Rolling Stone ... read more

Boy, it's amazing. In the Court of the Crimson King by King Crimson recently beat Dark Soul's 3 the Ringed City DLC for the first time and has no one to tell about it so this album is shouting out for the world to hear on AOTY.com. On the contrary to popular opinion, I really only like the bosses. The Demon Prince, Darkeater Midir, Slave Knight Gael, they're literally the best in the entire series and I enjoyed them quite a bit but the regular enemies like the ringed knights and ... read more

Boy, it's great. MG Ultra by Machine Girl longs to live the life of a discharged ex marine mechanic with a big fucked up group of friends in Chattanooga Tennessee, laws don't seem to apply there and the people don't seem to apply themselves to anything other than a warm case of miller light, a couch tied behind a ford ranger and crate of industrial fireworks. I was meant to live this life, blowing things up in an open field in the hot heat with my group of 20 friends who all have ... read more

Boy, it's great. Instrumental Relics by Clams Casino got kicked out of a K-mart in 2003 for creating a fort out of packaged bed cover sets and accidently tipping them over, crushing a little Chilean man named Maximo Muñoz who was a pillar of the community, had a loving family and just so happened to have 51% stake in the company. What followed was a brief police chase, a moving set of eulogies on a brisk Monday morning and a slippery slope of financial disasters as well as marketing ... read more

Boy, it's good. Loss Prevention Reloaded by KFC Murder Chicks revived Red Lobster from its impending bankruptcy. With the help of Flavor Flav, Hannibal Buress, Tom Holland and disgraced comedian Chris D'elia this family restaurant was saved. The industry may be on the brink of collapse but this business stands for more than nautical themed decor and microwaved food that someone you know complains about the conditions of having to serve (everyone has worked for a place that has a ... read more