I know this record has had the gays and dolls gagging this week, and I was really fucking excited for it too. All five singles are insane. Straight B.A.N.G.E.R.S. I’ve had “CRANK” (and the Trolley Song remix💀) on repeat since it dropped. That said, I’d be lying if I said the full album didn’t leave me a little disappointed.

“GAS STATION,” “YES GODDD,” "I'M ACTUALLY KINDA FAMOUS," and “$T. LOSER,” are all very ... read more

A fantastic album with one very obvious skip (“The Girl Is Mine”) and one song that’s just alright (“The Lady in My Life”).

🌟 Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’, Baby Be Mine, Thriller, Beat It, Billie Jean, Human Nature, P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing)

I know a lot of Whitney fans consider this her worst album. And to be fair, she was really going through it at this point, and you can hear it. Her voice isn’t what it used to be, which is genuinely heartbreaking. It’s cliché to say, but she deserved so much better than how things played out.

This is also the first Whitney album without that undeniable, era-defining smash. No “How Will I Know,” no “I Wanna Dance with Somebody,” no “I’m ... read more

I love Whitney down, but this is just not good. Like at all.

🌟 None

Sexistential was my most anticipated album of 2026, and man, it did not disappoint.

But before I go into a deep dive of this record, I feel compelled to start this review by defending the title track, because based on what I’ve seen here and on AOTY, people are just not getting it.

In 2023, André 3000 explained why he transitioned from making rap music to ambient flute music (lol) to GQ Magazine. He told GQ that he didn’t feel like he had anything to rap about anymore ... read more

Welcome to the penultimate Robyn review on my page in honor of Sexistential dropping in less than 48 hours. YAY!!!

Now… My Truth. Yeah, this one is rough. I’m not even gonna pretend otherwise. It’s easily her weakest studio album and there’s just not much here to grab onto. I don’t feel like going in on her right before a new era, but this is a miss. Plain and simple.

🌟 Play, Universal Woman

Wow! The way cis straight men on this app talk about Robyn is actually insane. Like relax. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think this is her best work, and I definitely wouldn’t put it anywhere near “greatest albums of all time” territory like Apple or Pitchfork did. But the level of dismissal she gets is wild. Even if you don’t love this album, it’s a crime not to acknowledge what it is.

This is THE electro-pop blueprint.

The list of artists influenced ... read more

This album is basically a blueprint for the Y2K teen-pop wave. You can hear its influence all over future pop classics like …Baby One More Time and Backstreet’s Back. Max Martin really started building his empire here.

That said, this sound just does not work for me. It’s that super polished, sugary teen-pop that I personally find kind of grating and not very pleasing to listen to. I get why it was huge, but it’s not something I ever feel the urge to come back to.

But ... read more

Welcome to Robyn week on my page, as we celebrate the upcoming release of this niche gay icon’s 7th studio album Sexistential. Schedule permitting, I’m trying to finish her first two records and Body Talk by Thursday night.

Quick context for anyone who doesn’t know. Robyn has been very open about the fact that her first three albums, including Don’t Stop the Music, were made with basically zero creative control. BMG (her label) was dictating her sound. It wasn’t ... read more

After a brief 8 day hiatus from Record Club while I was in Daytona partying, getting drunk, doing drugs, and raving on Spring Break, I’m back!!! And it’s only right I return with the album that carried me through a 15 hour car ride to Florida and multiple blackout pregames: Madonna’s comeback record Confessions on a Dance Floor.

Quick PSA before I get into the substance though.

This album was originally recorded and mixed as a continuous DJ set. Every track flowed into the ... read more

To be clear, I like this EP. It’s perfectly decent “beep boop, beep boop” dance pop. The production is clean, the hooks are fine, and it’s an easy listen.

But I don’t come to a Robyn record to hear “we dance to the beat” loop over some shiny little synth loop and ticking drum machine. I come to Robyn to cry on the dancefloor. I want that emotional push and pull where the song makes you want to move while also ripping your heart out. That’s her ... read more

The best way I can describe this record is a sound bath. It’s extremely cohesive, very sparse, dark, and a little unsettling. Everything feels submerged in these atmospheric, spacious soundscapes where the beats feel more implied than fully present.

I’m generally really intrigued by artists like Kelela and Oklou who make this kind of deconstructed dance music. The whole appeal is how they strip club music down to its bones and rebuild it in a much more ambient, emotional way. I can ... read more

This album was fun for me to listen to because my genre, spiritually, is Khia asylum dance music for the gays. And in that sense it was entertaining, because it felt like Cobrah was doing a tour through different niche gay pop legends across the tracklist. With almost every song I could immediately point to another artist it reminded me of.

“Torn,” “Hit Girl,” and “Charming” sound straight out of the EUSEXUA / MAGDALENE universe. The FKA twigs influence is ... read more

This score only applies to the remix tracks. The original BRAT songs aren’t factored into the rating.

Brat and it’s completely different but also still brat expands the BRAT metaverse in a genuinely novel way. Most remix albums just repackage the same songs with new features or club edits. This one actually rewrites and rearranges the material to comment on what BRAT became in real time. Charli is literally narrating the cultural moment while remixing it. The album feels like a ... read more

I can’t lie, “JUMP” is a fucking banger. The “Meet Her at the Love Parade” sample is chef’s kiss. And honestly, “GO” also hits. I know I’m going to get crucified for saying that, but if a song works, it works.

That said… why the actual fuck are we working with Dr. Luke in 2026. My god. Did the girls get lobotomized? Working with a rapist as a girl group is genuinely brain-dead behavior. And yet… the horn sample on “Me ... read more

I’ve had a particularly bad week, so I’ve spent the past several days emotionally purging my pent-up anger by reviewing an album from an artist I actively hate. There are very few artists I’d genuinely use the word hate for, but Harry Styles is absolutely one of them. So here is my dissertation I’ve spent the past four days crafting on why Harry Styles is one of the most obnoxiously overrated artists of the modern era.

For some stupid reason, Harry Styles has been the ... read more

Probably the strongest installment of the Body Talk trilogy. It’s solid and consistent from front to back. But even with that, none of the songs really blow me away. It just doesn’t have that je ne sais quoi that makes a project stick with you long after it ends.

🌟 Indestructible, Call Your Girlfriend, Time Machine

My reviews across the Body Talk trilogy are going to sound pretty similar. These EPs are far from my favorite Robyn projects. Yes, this installment produced one of the greatest pop songs of all time, and no, that is not hyperbole. “Dancing On My Own” is genuinely flawless. But outside of that towering highlight, the rest of the EP feels surprisingly juvenile. The production leans very “beep boop beep boop” in a way that sometimes sounds closer to Disney Channel ... read more

A heterosexual soap opera set to immaculate soft rock.

🌟 Second Hand News, Dreams, Never Going Back Again, Don’t Stop, Go Your Own Way, The Chain, You Make Loving Fun, I Don't Want to Know

For most of Britney’s career, she was the vessel for someone else’s pop auteurship. Max Martin, Timbaland, will.i.am, whoever happened to be steering the ship that era. But Blackout is the one album where Britney actually had creative control, and it fucking shows.

This record is wacky, off-kilter, glitchy European club music glued together by Britney’s voice. A lot of people love Blackout because they read it as her most personal record. Songs like “Piece of Me” ... read more