Garage rock for people who can't sing (compliment)
Breakup album from hell (compliment)
Music to confuse aliens (???)
Apocalypse tunes by 12 year olds (compliment)
Punk rock for sad cowboys (compliment)
Room On Fire's edgy cousin (compliment but also derogatory)
The Cure for heroin addicts (compliment)
Arcade Fire for people that aren't assholes (compliment)
Math rock for people who don't like math rock (compliment)