'Twas the Summer of Love, 'twas. And Eric Burdon found himself a whole new band of wild and free cats (coincidentally called "The Animals") to assist him on a mystical search for the ultimate psychedelic psyounds of L.O.V.E. As he states in text on the FRONT COVER, "The new world different from the old with new jewels to be consumed, new frontiers to be won, and much more love to be given. The recognition of existence of pain and ecstasy to know that they are both there in the ... read more

Then tell him to LEAVE! Heh heh heh. Yeah, that was good stuff.

(*retires a proud man*)

(*returns three months later upon learning they won't give Social Security to a 32-year-old*)

This is the most perfect example I've ever encountered of an artist cynically exploiting the name of his old band to bamboozle fans into buying an album that sounds NOTHING AT ALL like said band. I don't have the contacts to find out whether the name "Eric Burdon and the Animals" was an idea of Eric's ... read more

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Contact:
Mark Prindle
MarkPrindle.com
[email protected]

OBSCURE ONLINE RECORD REVIEWER TAKES AIM AT THE ANIMALS' ANIMALISM
Foul-Mouthed 'Critic' Mark Prindle Awards Seven Stars to Legendary Band's Fifth U.S. Album

New York, NY - October 20, 2005 - Failed music critic Mark D. Prindle of Mark's Record Reviews (www.markprindle.com) today announced that he has awarded The Animals' Animalism LP 7 stars out of a possible 10. His previous album grades for the popular but ... read more

Ladies and gentlemen, please join me in welcomining Dave Rowberry on Hammond organ and piano, Barry Jenkins on drums (on some of the songs at least), Tom Wilson on production, and a fuzzbox on Hilton Valentine's guitar. Put 'em altogether and that spells a slightly brand new sound for England's The Animals! They're still doing the 12- and 16-bar r'n'b jive turkey thing with their different tempos and stylizations, catchy guitar licks and such, but the mix seems slightly less filthy under Tom's ... read more

It doesn't take a jellybag to notice that my incoming reader comment bag has been looking a little sparse over the past few years, so I am purposely gearing this review towards attracting a hefty dose of email correspondence from you folks out there in the Gallery Of Peanuts. Okay, here we go.

Only ten songs? Why, that's like only having sex with ten girls! Say, you out there - what was the craziest place YOU ever made whoopee?

Wow, five of these songs are originals! Still, I'd be hardpressed ... read more

Say, have you ever created a circle (or 'hole') with your right thumb and index finger, and then pushed your left index finger in and out of the circle in a coordinated hand motion? I saw a guy do this the other day, and I couldn't believe it. It looked EXACTLY like a man and woman making love! Now, I'm no erotic cocksmansmith by trade, but I must admit sensing a bit of giganticism occurring in my front pants region. I was beginning to regret wearing sweatpants to the funeral when suddenly it ... read more

Features such classic cover material as "The House Of The Rising Sun," (Bob Dylan), "The Night Time Is The Right Time" (Creedence Clearwater Revival), "Talkin' 'Bout You" (The Hollies), "I'm In Love Again" (Carl Perkins), "Around And Around" (Germs), "Girl Can't Help It" (Journey) (kidding), and "Memphis, Tennessee" (Elvis Presley), as well as such unforgettable original material as the band photo on the front cover.

If you ... read more

Metal Mike Saunders tried to put out a few solo albums in the interim but I guess they didn't sell too well, so in 1998, he grabbed the old Angry Samoans drummer and a couple of girls and recorded this eight-song lovey-dovey power pop crap project. Sounds just like the Huntingtons, Screeching Weasel, the Riverdales and all those other bands whose sole purpose in life is to sound as much like The Ramones as possible, while at the same time completely missing the elements that made the Ramones so ... read more

On this album, they make a slight effort to return some of the "fun" to their sound, but it's not FUNNY. A full quarter of the album devotes itself to unhumorously poking fun at rednecks (complete with vocals performed in annoying hick accents), and at least two tracks center around "hilarious" drug-related themes that Robert Klein and Buck Henry would have gotten a major kick out of in 1975. The rest of the songs are just the same sort of pleasant power pop that permeated ... read more

This has always been one of my favorite punk rock albums. This time around, the tempos are much faster, the riffs much more creative, the guitars much louder and the lyrics MUCH more offensive (believe it or not). Let's see - there's a song about poking your eyes out with a fork (later to be covered by The Accused!), one called "They Saved Hitler's Cock" (featuring the ridiculous couplet "If Hitler's cock could choose its mate/It would call for Sharon Tate"), a vicious ... read more

Apparently, near the end of his life, Seth became a fan of Motley Crue and the second Buckcherry album. This led to an overwhelmingly large number of the band's final songs falling into the subgenre of "hard pulsating cock rock" -- or as close as they were willing to come to cock rock without turning into girl-friendly hair metal. These tracks wound up on Fuckin' A, inside a cover that is absolutely identical to that of the first Motley Crue album. Surely this is completely ... read more

Let's say you OD yourself into a coma, and when you wake up you can't walk without a cane, your head won't stop jerking ridiculously up and down, and your speech is so slurred that you sound like Dee Dee Ramone. Would you feel comfortable going onstage and making fun of people? Nell ho!

Seth was no dumb-dumb. He let the insults wait and got himself back in the performance groove by reuniting the original song-free version of the band (Tim Morse and Mike Mahan) and playing a bunch of screaming ... read more

Well, this is certainly disappointing. On the cusp of mainstream success as America's most melodic pop band, Anal Cunt decided to mix an album in such a godawful way that the guitar sounds like a weak bassy rumble. As such, whenever Nate plays a blastbeat (pretty much 100% of the time), you can't hear the guitar at all, let alone decipher whether it's playing a riff or just making random noise. Worse yet, on the few occasions that the drums calm down and you can hear what Josh is playing, it's ... read more

Regardless of the many things they had in common, one important aspect separating GG Allin from Seth Putnam is that Putnam was actually somewhat intelligent. GG thought he was a transgressive visionary, but he was really just a white trash nut job who loved loud rock music. Putnam, on the other hand, as self-destructive and loathsome as he could be, was also a seriously clever and witty human being. This album, more than any other in the Anal Cunt catalog, is proof.

Picnic of Love is the ... read more

Listening to this album is like staring at one of those 'Magic Eye' pictures. At first, it just sounds like a bunch of noise. But if you take each individual track and listen to it over and over, concentrating very closely, you will eventually realize that there *ARE* actual chord changes taking place. They're just very hard to hear because the guitar tone is so heavy and bassy, and the blastbeats so ever-present. Nevertheless, once your brain finally learns to hear the riffs, you'll wonder how ... read more

We've now reached the era of Prime Anal Cunt, man! (PAC-man). With this album, the 'Cunt mostly tosses the "tuneless noise" gimmick into the ding-dong room, replacing it with an arm's fist of thrash, mosh, sludge and grind. Seth's annoying high-pitched shriek-scream is now being used in the service of actual lyrics (laugh-out-loud mean-spirited ones!), new guitarist Scott Hull of Agoraphobic Nosebleed fame rips out catchy chord changes aplenty, and guest vocalist Phil Anselmo of ... read more

Getting back to the whole "How big an asshole was Seth Putnam?" question, I read a number of online interviews with the man this afternoon, and he was indeed QUITE an asshole! In discussion upon discussion, he claimed to hate Jews, blacks, gays and foreigners; raved about how much he loved to shoot heroin and smoke crack; and stated emphatically that he didn't care about anything or anybody. One interviewer referred to him as "the grindcore GG Allin," and I guess that's a ... read more

This CD contains 58 tracks. 35 of them can go fuck themselves.

At this point, Anal Cunt had existed for SIX YEARS. Why on Earth did they continue to record almost nothing but brief snippets of screeching dissonance that all sounded completely identical!? How could they not have tired of it yet? Let me put it this way: in the six years between 1964 and 1970, The Beatles recorded A Hard Day's Night, Beatles For Sale, Help!, Rubber Soul, Revolver, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Magical ... read more

BORING CLASSICAL ERGH!

Look, there's a reason I generally only review jazz albums, and that's because I 'get' jazz (particularly long improvisational passages). But I don't know classical from a hole in the ground and even if I did, I'd still probably bury a corpse in it because what little I've heard of the genre is duller than a ding-dong. On the other hand, I acknowledge that heavy metal started with Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring" and I absolutely love a lot of classically ... read more

Hey everybody, this here's Tori Amos! Now before ya'all start busting my twat for reviewing my own album, let me express my gratitude to Music Critic Extraordinaire Mark Prindle -- the only hero with the guts to tell it like it is about my pathetic excuse of a discography. What, you think I'm happy with all that morose crybaby bullshit that comes out under my name? Jesus, take off the skirt! Shit no. As anybody who really knows me could tell you -- including all those great lil' fellers at the ... read more