Had this come directly after Wild Planet, it would have felt like quite the letdown, relying on pre-programmed drums and bass to an unparalleled degree, but with the cruddy Messobullameia in its wake, it sounds A-OK! At least the fun is back, even if that special B-52's vibe is history. There's still some guitar on here, but it's almost unnoticeable - basically treated like a rhythm instrument in a sound dominated by voices and keyboards. Lots of the songs are still catchy as a baseball or ... read more

Very similar to the first one, and nearly as good. The main difference on this one is that the dark shattered underbelly of the American dream is creeping away, replaced by the moody sorrow and high-speed goodtimes of tunes like "Dirty Back Road," "Give Me Back My Man" and "Strobe Light" (three fantastic songs). Get it? Less surf and spy, more Nerf and cry. (I wrote that "clever" turn of phrase about a week ago, and looking back at it now, I am genuinely ... read more

Great record. And by "great," I mean "I've enjoyed it all four times I've listened to it." Isn't it time for a little honesty around here? Sure it is! We're tearing ourselves apart! Four times is enough, though. If an album isn't truly great, its false first impression wears off after a couple of listens. This first impression still hasn't worn off. And I've spent over THREE HOURS with the record!
Nosy neighbor (as portrayed by Bob Newhart): "Three hours? Wow. That... ... read more

The Avalanches are a group of vitriolic Australians hell bent on destroying nothing in particular by merging and looping a whole slew of samples into a modern pastiche of electronic orchestral disco. Their palette is filled with cheesy '70s funk bass lines and ELO-style violin swoops, and their paint brush contains some high- pitched vocals, classical Spanish guitar, bird & water sound effects and a few funny samples here or there. Unfortunately, no matter how interesting the garden tools ... read more

Okay, that was kind of a rude joke. As most fans of this underappreciated, short-lived '70s hard rock band know, the group had to break up because singer Keith Relf electrocuted himself while playing guitar in his home in 1975. 'Tare a large shame too, because their one album is REALLY good!!! Keith started life in the mid-60s as the singer for the Yardbirds until they turned into a Dread Zeppelin tribute band, then he left that dying outfit to form Renaissance (which was probably not much to ... read more

Every once in a while, domestic abuse is A-OK. Let's say the woman burned your dinner. Certainly, a bit of domestic abuse would be in order when you come home from a hard day at work earning money to support your family and find that the bitch burned your goddamned dinner. At a time like this, it would be perfectly fine for you to grab the whore by the neck and scream, "Do me! Stic a bus! E!" However, if she is not in the mood to make love to you or insert your child's toy schoolbus ... read more

Supposedly this one was recorded in a studio (and actually PRODUCED by somebody), but the mixia as muffled as the first one. The guitars may be slightly less reverby, but the "Four Goddamn Girl Drummers" are just as hidden in the mix as the one heavenblessed boy drummer on the debut. Musically, the rhythmic samples are much less in attendance this time around, replaced by a higher percentage of really catchy lead guitar lines (as opposed to the rhythm guitar chugs that drove the ... read more

Originally released on cassette only, but now available on the Drill Ye Tarriers Drill CD, the debut ABC recording was played by a three- piece: James Dillon on vocals and percussion, Jay Paget on guitar, bass and percussion and Brandan Kearney on guitar, bass, tapes and percussion. James just didn't have it, if it wouldn't be impolite of me to say that he sucked shit off the floor every time he opened his mouth. This CD would have been a pretty nifty collection of intriguing guitar interplay ... read more

THE WEEPING CANCER OF AGONY
Shooting Script
Narrator: That young man in the jail cell is 16-year-old Jimmy "Woody" Woodruff. Once was a time Woody felt that relaxing classical music was Kicksville and brain-rotting rock music strictly Squaresville. Then one day a slick fellow at his school convinced him that he would be more popular with the gang if he listened to 7th Symphony, a dangerous new record that combined the instruments of classical music with the anti-social attitude of ... read more

Much like The Byrds' Ballad Of Easy Rider, this record is slightly more creative than its predecessor, yet it still only hints at the power and majesty that the band once possessed. Another similarity between BOER and WC (aside from their self-deprecating initials) is that each record features a larger-than-usual selection of lead singers. However, Apocalyptica chose to hire the vocalists from Rammstein, Lacuna Coil, Slipknot and Three Days Grace rather than pulling a Jim McGuinn and just ... read more

Choosing to skip The Byrds' final pop masterstroke The Notorious Byrd Brothers altogether, Apocalyptica has chosen instead to record a bland, tepid collection of tracks not unlike the traditional country numbers found on Sweetheart Of The Rodeo. It's possible I'm just sick of cellos, I guess. But I swear to God, every "lead cello melody" on here sounds identical. Just cold depressed gothy suicide crap like some black metal bunch of boring string-laden jerks. Plus there's a few songs ... read more

When the board of directors at Universal Records got together in the early 00's to release a remastered version of The Byrds' 1967 Younger Than Yesterday LP, little did they know that they would accidentally record over the original studio tapes with a bunch of cellos playing heavy metal. It was an unfortunate incident for most, but Apocalyptica found a way to turn AIDS into Lemonade and the result, Reflections, is one of their best albums ever.

Why? What could have changed to turn this band ... read more

Failing the hundreds and thousands of fans who hoped that this would be a whole album of 'real winners' like "Love Removal Machine," Cult is Apiscopalian's first attempt to create a whole album of original music all by their lonesome (aside from an orchestral classic and a couple of Metallica songs at the end). They're basically good at what they do; i.e. be that the art of playing sorrowful bombast on the saddest-sounding instrument known to man (aside from 'the world's smallest ... read more

Branchin' out! Much like The Byrds' Turn Turn Turn album where they bragged that they weren't just a Bob Dylan cover band by only covering TWO Dylan songs, Apocalyptica here prove that they aren't just a Metallica cover band by presenting classical cello versions of hits by Pantera, Sepultura and Faith No More, along with a few originals (!) and only FOUR Metallica songs! WOW! Excitingly, most of the original material is really cool, emphasizing the HEAVY LOW tones of the cello and not looking ... read more

Obviously a cover band is only as good as their material, but the Apolypticas pick some darn fine material to vwhump away at here! Eight classic Metunes including "Enter Sandman" (as heard in the fine film Your Friends And Neighbors and "Wherever I May Roam" (as heard in my apartment this morning when my dog was chasing a purple tennis ball up and down the hall). Neat effect, that chunka-chunka cello sound. Doesn't work for James Hetfield's vocals though. Too ON-THE-NOTE ... read more

It took me a full 22 years to finally get the title, but indeed I finally did! You see, ANIMALS were on the Ark! And you're welcome for saving you two decades of nonstop concern.

"Ark - De Triomphe!" would be something great to say if this album were any good. Instead it's the original Animals reunited in 1983 to perform music with no connection at all to the original Animals sound. This is strictly early-'80s pop/rock - lots of 'dark' songs along the "Don't Pay The ... read more

Following three albums with War and some solo whatnot, Eric Burdon somehow managed to reunite the original Animals line-up for a late '70s reunion. Cute album title, but unfortunately it promises much more than the record can deliver. Even though it's credited to "The Original Animals," the Animals were not the same band in 1977 that they'd been in 1966. By '77, they were older, slower, more conservative, and (strangely) much, MUCH whiter. With a weird nose and molesting children. And ... read more

Hey check this out -- I've got a "message in a bottle" to tell you! It's about the new guitarist that Burdon picked up for this album. "Don't stand so close to me" when I'm trying to tell you who the guitarist is! I'll give you a hint: because he was "so lonely," he later went on to fame and fortune in his own band about a decade later. I know that since I "can't stand losing, you" might feel the same way and are thus getting upset because you can't ... read more

The Animals have posed for a black and white cover photo in order to inform you that they have exited their psychedelic phase. It was fun while it lasted, but then Eric took a mathematics course and up the ass went his "All is One" theory. In its place we find REALITY. You know how bands like to get 'REAL' after waking up from the lysergic colorful fantasy of 1967: The Beatles did That White Album, The Rolling Stones did Beggars' Banquet, and the Animals were right there alongside ... read more

Animapsychedelia Part Two (out of two). All eight tracks on this LP are original compositions (for the first and last time ever), tackling oodleholes of different songwriting approaches and experimental arrangements while featuring the most godawful muffled mix of nearly any studio record I've ever heard. What the hell was Tom Wilson DOING!? Mixing it with his head inside a toilet bowl!? Where the hell are the drums? Why is the "Sky Pilot" guitar solo buried under unlistenably hissy ... read more