I was just in the other room throwing a turd at somebody out the window when it suddenly occurred to me that I haven't reviewed a GG Allin record in a while. As the Reverend Jim Jones once said, "Now is the time for all good men to come to the (Kool) aid of their GG Allin fans." Well, I'm nothing if not entirely naked and standing in the middle of a shopping district, so pass the Dr. Mustard and let's breast!

This record is still very early GG Allin, so the Johnny Cougar stupidity ... read more

Ahhhh now THIS is Pr. GG Addams! I'm not in the mood for quotation marks at the moment, so caps will simply have to suffice: HARD CANDY COCK, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT, DRINK FIGHT AND FUCK, I WANNA FUCK YOUR BRAINS OUT, I'M GONNA RAPE YOU, FUCKIN' THE DOG, COCK ON THE LOOSE, CLIT LICKER, BLOW JOBS. And I suppose there are a few others, but they don't contain curse words, so what's the point? No point! That is my answer to everything at this point in our society, as we kill ourselves with the ozone ... read more

According to the old clock on the wall, I will turn 30 years old in less than 12 hours. This is a major, major life change, and not one that I've particularly been looking forward to. 30 to me has always meant no more youth. One is expected to have his "shit together" by the time he turns 30. I, unfortunately, LOST my shit approximately two weeks ago, getting laid off after seven years of at least passable service. Granted, it wasn't the greatest job in the universe but it paid pretty ... read more

I don't like to throw the word 'genius' around, but when a guy sings a song called "Fags in the Living Room" while strumming an unplugged electric guitar with such force that all you can hear is the tuneless CHACKA CHACKA CHACKA of his pick slashing across the strings, mister tha

I don't like to throw the word 'visionary' around, but when a guy rips off The Kinks' "She's Got Everything" for a song called "Sixty Nine" that has nothing to do with the year, well call ... read more

Upon learning of my protracted career difficulties, GG Allin of the Jabber Corporation made an offer. Unfortunately, I soon learned that, like most CEOs, he was not to be trusted.

HIS PROMISE: "We can't afford a dental plan at the moment, but you'll have the opportunity to hobnob with some of the highest ranking executives in the sector, including 'Brother' Wayne Kramer and 'Third Cousin by Marriage' Dennis Thompson."

THE REALITY: A bland Johnny Thunders riff with some jerk soloing ... read more

As the title of one of his own live albums acknowledges, GG Allin suffered from Antisocial Personality Disorder. He exercised lack of empathy or remorse towards others, poor behavioral controls, recurring difficulties with the law, promiscuity, a tendency to violate the boundaries and rights of others, aggressive and violent behavior, inability to tolerate boredom, abusive relationships, irresponsible work behavior and disregard for safety. Other Allin characteristics that support this ... read more

The most important thing you need to know about this single is that the title is not a metaphor.

Sure, you could imagine a similar title being used for nearly any record by the Grateful Dead, Dave Matthews Band or Phish, but GG Allin is none of those things and the title is not figurative.

This 7" includes the gritty but gleeful rock n' rollers "Sluts in the City" and "Tough Fuckin' Shit" (the latter a parody of Nancy Sinatra's "Sorry 'Bout That"!), an inept ... read more

If you're only familiar with the public image of GG Allin, you will be astonished when you see and hear this album. He's a snotty little twit! Clean shaven face, full head of hair, looks about 20 with an ugly scowl on his pissy little face, wearing a denim jacket with the name "GG Allin" above the pocket. Then put it on and what do you get? Poorly mixed punk rock (the drums are WAY the hell back there) with cleanish guitars and a curled lip American trailer trash redneck jerkoff ... read more

This one is sort of a cross between the last two albums, as well as yet another Alice Donut project that puts all its weakest songs up front. Although the production is much stronger than on Three Sisters, TGA's first half recalls that album by being downright drenched in simplistic '90s-style three-chord alt-rock/fuzz-pop. Tomas Antona and Sissi Schulmeister are both in good voice throughout, but the first five songs sound like they were written by non-musicians -- simple, straightforward, ... read more

Before we get to the best Alice Donut album in 15 years, I simply must address a query that came my way yesterday. I was "hangin' loose" with a top radio disc jockey of the day (not Rick Dees, but very, very close) and this platter-spinner posed the following question to me, Mark Prindle: "Say, Mark Prindle, how come GG Allin gets a 10 while no Miles Davis album gets more than a 2 and a half?"
Now first of all, this was clearly a hyperbolic enquiry; I clearly recall giving a ... read more

I've been following this band around in my car since before Mule came out, so if anyone is qualified to say that their reunion album blows, I do. But "blows" is a violent career-nulling term that I prefer to save for the truly deserving (Weezer), so I'll just say that Three Sisters is as weak and disappointing as Pure Acid Park, and we had to wait a lot longer for it.
The main problem from the getgo is that there's only four goddamned people in the band now, which completely ... read more

And suddenly Alice Donut turns into a midtempo fuzzed-out alternative rock band, complete with fantastically overprocessed guitar tones piled on top of each other in an entirely professional, commercial and accessible manner. This would be all fell and wine, but the entire first half of the CD is made up of weak songs. The engineer (toot toot!) piles on lots of different noises and tones, but there's no saving compositions as simplistic and uncatchy as "Millenium," "Big Cars ... read more

A slip. They've lost their bassist and one of their guitarists, and the music is split between "funky metal grooves" and "repetitive overlong melodic things." Still good, but weaknesses we haven't heard from this band in ages are showing through in icky leaps and bounds - irritating vocals, weak melodies, attempts at serious drama that fail miserably - it's all very unexpected and disheartening. Not bad, though. "In My Head..." and "Every Body Is On Sale" ... read more

Here's where they get addicted to groove. Good groove, though. Slow and plodding, but not dull. Tom's voice is buried, there are three guitarists listed on the sleeve, and the humor is close to gone, leaving in its stead a sort of gross artsy social poetry. Very good, though. The first two songs in particular will really get your head a-noddin' and your butt a-thumpin', and the rest are no slouch their own selves. "Telebloodprintmediadeathwhore" is uneventful, and the novelty cover of ... read more

Like the last two, but perfect. Every song a tiny gem of absolute genius. The lyrics, whether dealing with subjects as common as corporate dehumanization or as intriguing as the events which might surround a "cow's placenta to Armageddon," are absofantastically splendiddlyoskenskew.
And the music? Even more creative and catchy than on teh last one ("teh" is one of my all-time favorite typos, so I think I'll leave it in just this once), what you have here is a guitar-heavy ... read more

Coincidentally enough, I ran across the drummer from Alice Donut at a Cows concert at the time I was reviewing these albums nine or so years ago. I was just standing there after the show when this big fellow with lengthy dreadlocks eyed my Dead Kennedys T-shirt and shouted, "Dead Kennedys! Whooo!" And there he was! The old drummer from Alice Donut. I asked him if he had a favorite Alice Donut album and he said probably this one. So there's your answer!
This is the record that got me ... read more

The scent of a very young band. They show promise, as well as a handful of memorable, catchy songs (pop ode to the Exorcist girl "Green Pea Soup," speedy country-western "Windshield Of Love," and flaming ballad "Joan Of Arc" are personal favorites), but lots of early weaknesses are sitting around waiting for you to point at 'em and go "eww."
For one, Tom flaunts his irritating voice like it's an admirable trait to be able to sound like Fanny Brice sucking ... read more

It's all snowy today! That didn't prevent me from sleeping until 4:20 PM though.

Skite reveals my ignorance of late '70s British pop culture; I simply don't GET a lot of these parodies. Half of the songs are great compositions in and of themselves, but I know there's more going on here than meets the ear for dinner, and it infuriates me that I lack the anthropological background to appreciate the subtleties of its referential offerings. For example, I absolutely love the fast, fun glammy ... read more

You'll laugh so hard, you'll be shittin' somebody ELSE'S pants, let alone mine! You'll be pissin' vinegar and gorghin' zola! You'll be overheatin' and wearthemeatmin'! Best of all, you'll be carrying a fat bankroll of laughter and wearing a wet suit of uncontrollable bowels after 45 minutes with Alberto Y Lost Trios Paranoias tickling your rib-condomed dickle with the scandalous entertainment of humor! That's why I declare Italians From Outer Space not only the greatest Alberto Y Lost Trios ... read more

Alberto Y Lost Trios Paranoias introduced themselves to the world through ten succinct and occasionally witty works of stylistic parody. Specifically, they parody (a) funk, (b) early rock and roll, (c) sleazy '70s country-western, (d) reggae, (e) acid rock, (f) southern rock, (g) Lou Reed, (h) Frank Zappa (I think), (i) old-timey religious country-western, and (j) art rock. If you like any or all of these styles, consider yourself a fan of Alberto Y Lost Tr;a jesus I'm tired.

My cholesterol is ... read more