Not only is this the greatest single I own; it's also (objectively speaking) the greatest single ever released. Featuring two songs written and sung by Mr. Randy Winburn (no relation to my father Mr. Randy Prindle even though most people with the same first name are brothers, like me and charismatic Olympic swimmer Mark Spitz), this short blast of melodic '60s hard rockin' garage bubblegum is all the proof I've ever needed that radio success and musical quality have nothing at all to do with ... read more

My wife just sent me an email entitled "Cute Story" that reads as follows:

"One person here was reportedly sleeping over the weekend and dreaming she was petting a kitten… She woke up and realized there was a RAT in bed with her, snuggled up under her arm, and she was petting it!!!

(Then she ran screaming out of the house and made her dad kill it with a shovel. That part’s not so cute.)"

In 1978, 24-year-old Canadian Rob Wright said to his 16-year-old brother ... read more

Recorded for a mere $600, this record shows off the Nirvanas at their most musically inventive. The pounding drum tones (not played by Dave Grohl! He wasn't in the band yet!) hint at Melvins worship, but the guitar lines, enhanced greatly by bushelfulls of weirdass chords and feedback noise, have kept my ears entertained for years and a day. There's also a neat overall dark tone (probably resulting from the limited recording budget, and thus sadly missing from their other records) that creeps ... read more

The New York Dolls were at the heart of the glam movement, gussied up in make-up, sleazy women's clothing and big high heels to bring you catchy tales of drugs, sex and the urban life. Have you heard of Johnny Thunders? No no, not the Kinks song! ha ha1 Johnny Thunders was the heroin-addicted lead guitarist for the New York Dolls before forming the Heartbreakers and changing his name to Tom Pe

Have you heard of Johnny Thunders? He was the influence for the Replacements' "Johnny's Gonna ... read more

A fizzantasic debut - all the songs are upbeat and sugary, but with really thick distorted guitars and fun bubbly Cars-style synths AND I DON'T GODDAMN MEAN THE GODDAMN GARY NUMAN SONG - Sometimes when I'm in the local Pizzeria Uno enjoying their special Chicago-style pan pizza, I hear a Turtles song or a Dave Clark Five on the stereo and I think to myself, "What happened to music like this? Uptempo. Melodic. Sugar sweet - and not BORING!" The New Pornographers have reclaimed that ... read more

It's always a problem when your first LP is one of the greatest albums ever recorded. How do you follow such a thing up? The rest of your career seems unnecessary! But let's get to that in un momento.

Oh! Did you bring me a delightful momento back from your trip to New Brunswick? Oh, thank you so much for the delightful momento!

Although this record is on Crypt alongside such questionable retro bands as Thee Headcoats, Thee Mighty Caesars and the Gories, it is definitely punk rock. Like, ... read more

However!!!! However!!!!! Oh yeah. This is the Negativland classic by my standards! Not only as conceptually bright as a flaming bag of dog poop, but also as pleasing to the ear as a warm pat of margarine!
The concept is as follows: After Escape From Noise, Negativland wanted to tour. Unfortunately, they had no money. At about the same time, some freaker kid named David Braum (Brom?) killed his parents and sister with an axe. Thinking quickly (and absolutely tastelessly), Negativland put out a ... read more

I guess this is a collection of singles or EPs or something because half of it features the modern-day lineup (long songs) and the other half is the unmodern-day lineup (short songs). Before we begin, did I mention that their lyrics focused on social and political issues? Not sickening bodily mutations or things like that. Some of the lines were awfully clever too. Here's the second verse of "Social Sterility": "Must inebriate my senses/Into a state of delirium/Before I turn to ... read more

How did they get that signature sound? From what I can tell, it seems to be mainly the result of a distorted bass, beautiful background vocals, and most of all, layers and layers of electric guitar overdubs, some of which are distorted to white noise unlistenability, others of which feature the guitarist using his tremelo bar to give the melody an ethereal rising/falling feel with the change of the notes. This effect (however it was actually done) was put even more to use on the next album; I ... read more

Boy oh boy - it's not til you sit down and listen to something like this that you realize exactly how great a rock band Mudhoney were. Not metal or grunge -- just straight-up garage rock right out of the 60s. This is a double-CD compilation with not a single weak track. Disc one is supposedly a "greatest hits," but since they never had any hits, I'm not clear on exactly how they decided which songs to include (for example, wasn't "Thorn" released as a single? It's not on ... read more

Fatigue and bloatedness prevent me from giving this album its absolute due at the moment, but a sense of responsibility and obsession is forcing me to jot some words down anyway, so let me quickly try to paint you a picture of a house.

This oldtimey keyboard seems to have been built without a "house picture" key. Would you be s

That was going nowhere. There is no ska or funk on here. Instead, it is influenced by jazz, world music, cartoon music death metal and creepy Haunted House ... read more

Can you imagine a human being not wanting to listen to 6 1/2 hours of Motorhead in a row? That very fiend currently occupies our nation's White House. "I can't sit here and listen to three or four tracks from every single studio album along with several BBC Sessions and rarities," he said to me on the phone last Tuesday. "And I'm afraid that I'm going to have to ask that fifth disc of all live material to 'bring it off' at the moment. Otherwise, we'll help in any way we ... read more

Not too many bands put out two truly magnificent albums in 1969. Even the Stones only managed one. The Who did two, but they were both Tommy. But those Moodies, awww, man! Same formula as the last one, except no R 'n' B for miles around. This stuff is straight-up classical pop rock in all the grandiose beauty they could muster. I'm cereal! This is the album that got me so heavily into the band in the first place!
This is a concept album about space travel, and the songs are slow, moving, ... read more

If you're in the market for B.S., you'd might as well just grab a compilation. You're not really missing out any artistic full-length aspirations or anything. I'm not sure what the other compilations are like, but this German one has all the hits, plus the previously singles-only tracks "A Little Bit Me, A Little Bit You" and "Someday Man," both of which you need!!!!! One complaint: they could have replaced "I Wanna Be Free" with "Porpoise Song" and had ... read more

Have you ever heard that Led Zeppelin song that goes "Been a long time since I rock and rolled"? Well, that's certainly how Bill Milano must have felt when Scott Ian, Charlie Benante, the other guy and that other guy refused to return home for a follow-up to their best-selling Eat Spanglish Or Dots! LP in 1986. But Bill wasn't born a quitter and he certainly won't die one, so he gathered together his skinny bass playing friend with the Corrosion of Conformity shirt, his permed ... read more

Now THIS is hardcore!!!!! The first Misfits record I ever heard, and it totally blew me away - starting off with blasts of guitar feedback and tortured moans, soon giving way to faster-than-Satan drumbeats courtesy of Black Flag's old drummer Robo, every one of these tracks slashes, screams, pounds, and thrashes across your scalp and into your soul.
So fast, so loud, so mean - decimeters more threatening (if you find music "threatening") than that pop fluff they'd been forcing down ... read more

A double-album featuring more great songs than most bands write in their entire career. There are 43 tracks on here and, at least in my opinion, a good 33 of them are so fucking great, I can't even smell straight when I think about them. The others have their moments too! Enough of them, in fact, that this album constantly makes rock critics' "Best Albums Of The 80s" lists.

So what does it sound like? Well, it's definitely the most accessible record that The Minutemen had done up ... read more

An absolute 10, Menos El Oso features the band's strongest production, most memorable melodies, most diverse guitarwork and most passable synth lines yet. The axemen are of course still all over the 'interplay' tip, but instead of relying on the old "tapping vs. arpeggiating" gag, they're coming up with strange, bizarre chord conglomerations and note combinations, then mixing them with weird rhythmic guitar noises -- backwards high-pitched 'fweets!,' speed-manipulated ... read more

The entire catalog on one low-priced CD! All songs from the previous two records are included, along with the Salad Days single, the non-EP "Stand Up" and two covers. "Stand Up" kicks several levels of total fargin' butt, and "Stumped" is hilarious. This is definitely one of the ten greatest CDs on the market, if you like this genre at all. The Speeding Bricks are good too, if you're gear on that Steve Miller tip.
Message to parents: Please be advised that Mr. Ian ... read more

I have memories just as every man has memories; mine are of visiting the "Hell" level of Atlanta's semi-legendary Masqerade club (Rock bands played in "Heaven," drunkards got drunk in "Purgatory," and goth teens danced in "Hell.") and realizing how amazingly well-mixed (and well-written, of course....) this record is. Even pumped up louder than a house, I could hear every last sample in "Thieves," every background shout in "Burning ... read more