Do you have any friends who record homemade music, with their guitar, keyboard or whatever else they have lying around, the silver spoon trust fund pricks? I know lots of people are boring, but if you make enough friends, you'll eventually find one that composes and records wonderful little songs that you can enjoy singing in your head for the rest of your days, and SCREW the rest of the world who will never get to hear them. I am blessed with two such friends: Christian "Christian ... read more

Now see I've just made a typical critics' faux pas and none of you stopped me. So now I have to stop myself and explain my error. Flipper was NOT a slow band. They played punk speed, like the Sex Pistols. They just didn't play hardcore speed like all the other punk bands in California in the early '80s. Plus every once in a while they'd throw in a jeeper creeper where'd you get those peeper like "I Saw You Shine," a 15-year-song about banging your head against a wall.

The sound of ... read more

Incredible. Wayne has completely blown away the limits of the format. They're gone. Blammo! Gone. For now anyway. Have you heard of this one? It's four CDs meant to be played simultaneously two, three or four at a time on different stereo systems. I know it sounds dumb and arty, but that's only because you haven't heard it yet. It is... mind-blowing. Different parts of the songs come out of different parts of your room! And it sounds like you're in a huge arena! And then one of the CDs starts ... read more

This is the crackerjack sparkler - every riff is a killer, whether pulling from `70s Sabbath-style "funky but bleak" metal, surf skatercore or modern thrashcore (resulting in alternately Blissfully Kickass guitar runs like "Faction" and Brilliantly Stomach-Turning hooks like the chorus to "Dogsperm"), Every instrument - every drum beat, guitar note, bass bumple - is tied together in a tight-as-panties unified assault on the American people. The mix is underground, ... read more

A classic. Oh how a classic. Appearing on the back cover with gas masks on their faces, then in smaller pictures with really stupid arrogant smirks and scowls, Fear deliver the goods here like a milkman for the lactose intolerant.
Classics include the pounding "Let's Have A War" ("It can start in New Jersey!"), the sex blues parody "Beef Boloney," the hit single from which they made all the money "I Love Livin' In The City" ("My apartment smells just ... read more

If anybody in the English-speaking world is capable of putting together the absolute pinnacle of Fall compilationism (I disqualify non-English speakers only because we're all tired of hearing how much Idi Amin loves Room To Live), that fellow just might be the band's former bassist Steve Hanley. And this is what he statefully did back in early '99, pacifically scrounging through 17 different John Peel radio sessions conducted by various conjugations of the verbose band between 1978 and 1993 ... read more

More like "The SHRILL Thing," if you ask anybody with two or more goddamned ears on their head!!! Shooting for massive studium success (and succeeding), the band and record company mixed this thing much more trebly, shiny and MTV-friendly than the first two records, which -- obnoxiously enough -- was a perfect match for the newly anthemic songwriting approach and helium-voiced new lead singer (his voice sounds like a bunch of HELIUM floating around!). This singer was of course Mr. ... read more

I tend to focus on 'melody' in my reviews, but there are also of course other sonic qualities that affect one's enjoyment of a particular work. One of these is 'timbre,' or 'the characteristic quality of a sound.' For example, although I enjoy some of Elvis Costello's 'melodies,' I can't stand the 'timbre' of his voice and thus hate his music so much that I want to strangle the stuffed-nosed bastard with his own tie. Similarly, I would rather listen to 10,000 fuzzy guitars for 16 hours a day ... read more

If you've been down to the Shiznit Store lately, you've probably noticed that every shelf is stocked with copies of Taking Tiger Mountain by the band Strategy. Well, there's a good reason for that -- this album IS the Sh
Also, it's not by a band called Strategy; that's actually part of the album title. The album itself is of course by top-selling '70s act EG 1974. You see, when Denny Laine was caught with his tongue up Lind

There are many who say that a "writer" shouldn't ... read more

Don't be fooled as so many have before - that band called "Embrace" that have an album called The Good Will Out are imposters to the throne. The REAL Embrace was an old DC band featuring Ian MacKaye post-Minor Threat and pre-Fugazi, along with three guys that Ian completely STOLE from The Faith, a band led by his poor defenseless brother Alec. After completely STEALING them, destroying Alec's f(F)aith and forcing him to create a truly mediocre band called Ignition, Ian and his Embrace ... read more

For my monkey, this is the Electric - wait, that totally reminded me of this awesome ferret I met at PetCo today. His name was Snowball, he was long fuzzy and white, and had a cute little tail it would wag back and forth. Ferrets are so long and skinny! Don't make any dick jokes about ferrets though; they're adorable! Snowball was a sweet little man who wanted only to walk on the ground but his Mommy (adopted) didn't want him to because one of the doggies in the store might have tried to eat ... read more

Although I no longer find this album as flawless as I did ten years ago, I still think that it's the best bet for any listener who's having trouble getting into Bob Dylan. Mainly because it's the most melodic and traditionally musical album he's ever done, highlighted by extremely clear production, sparkling acoustic guitars, and Bobbaroo actually sounding excited by the project! His delivery in hot tracks like "Tangled Up In Blue" and "Idiot Wind" are among his most ... read more

In my opinion, this is one of the greatest hardcore records ever made. It sounds a lot like a slightly poppier version of The Misfits' Earth A.D. (another one of the greatest hardcore records ever made, even though most Misfits fans hate it, through some completely asinine reasoning that I've yet to quite get a grasp on) with incredibly loud guitars and inevitably speedy as shib drumbeats, but what's REALLY indelible about the record is the inglebinadle sense of melody displayed by this bunch ... read more

Their best. All dark, all the time. No silly upbeat "I Looked At You" carp here. Yes, carp, goddammit. The closest you'll get to summertime bliss on this record is "Moonlight Drive," which ends with the protagonists pretty much drowning themselves for no good reason. Elsewhere else you get drowning horses, strange people, dead love, unhappy lost little girls, backward keyboard lines, moog synths, and, most importantly, consistently capital melodies. If the piano/slide guitar ... read more

The ultimate hardcore record. 26 songs in 22 minutes, and it would have been even shorter if it weren't for that darned three-minute "Violent Pacification" epic. I guess this was recorded when they lived in Texas, but it's not a terribly cowboy-oriented record. In fact, the songs are every bit as vicious and fierce as you'd expect from taking a gander at the cover portrait of a skeleton in army gear busting into a house (the original cover was different - I'm just talking about the ... read more

The ultimate hardcore record. 26 songs in 22 minutes, and it would have been even shorter if it weren't for that darned three-minute "Violent Pacification" epic. I guess this was recorded when they lived in Texas, but it's not a terribly cowboy-oriented record. In fact, the songs are every bit as vicious and fierce as you'd expect from taking a gander at the cover portrait of a skeleton in army gear busting into a house (the original cover was different - I'm just talking about the ... read more

Although You're Living All Over Me is the critically acclaimed classic, I actually like this one better. Honestly, the albums are almost exactly alike except for two key differences: (1) the guitar noise on this one is hilariously overblown, especially in the gorgeous "No Bones" and the...eh...ungorgeous "Don't," and (2) this one doesn't have "Lose" - or any other losers, for that matter (tee hee, so sharp!). Almost every song is melodically beautiful regardless of ... read more

The supercharge you'll get when these first hot licks pour out of the speakers is comparable only to the first time you and your mama got hot and heavy to the searing guitar and pulsing bass lines of Journey's Escape. And by "mama," I DO mean your birth mother, Mr. Incest Guy.
Pterodactyls roamed the land for hundreds and hundreds of days before Man climbed out of the sea and speared all of them dead with his trusty spear. And that very same Man continues to rule the food chain even ... read more

This, in my opinion, is the greatest Didjits record. Feel free to disagree if that's up your tree, but this is total PUNK ROCK! And if Rick wants to position himself as Mr. Big Wildass Crazy Nuts Rock And Roll Guitar God, it would behoove him to keep the tempos and amps roaring like he does here. These tunes just KICK! The Didjits broke up shortly afterwards, but this was one hell of a going away present!
Really fast and fun, making your head bang for a good few minutes. He of course slams a ... read more

This is a GUITAR album. If you've always avoided Devo due to fears of keyboard overdose, BUY THIS ALBUM. Half of the songs are energetic 'up' rock anthems, the other half darker and stranger -- but all of them favor guitars over synthesizers. And this is the only Devo studio album about which this can be said, so appreciate it.

And yes, the main riff of "Uncontrollable Urge" bears a passing resemblance to "Misty Mountain Hop" but only barely so SHUT UP.

The production is ... read more