I just spun the Marshall Mathers LP for the first time today and I'm just realizing that I have no strong feelings for this track one way or the other.
It's just there, man, and I don't know what to do with it.

BabyTron is whatever, I've never cared for him as a rapper. I think the only quality that sets him apart is his hair, THERE, I fuckin' said it!
Big Sean does really good surprisingly.
And, you know what, credit where it's due, modern Eminem is capable of ... read more

Musically and compositionally, this is the best FIR record.
I'll even argue that this has Ronnie's BEST singing ever.
The songwriting? While not great and occasionally petty, I AM convinced that Ronnie actively tried to write better lyrics and hooks on this album.
But OH MY GOD WHY IS THE MASTERING SO FUCKING LOUD MY EARS AAAAGH I FUCKING HATE THE LOUDNESS WAR

XXL didn't include you because yr a poser, Mabu.

I don't hate Imagine Dragons.
I can name you several mainstream bands worse than them. And I'll confidently defend Smoke + Mirrors and (most of) Night Visions as solid, catchy, stadium-sized pop-rock. No, my gripes with the Dragons come after those two records, when they reeeeally started exhausting that shouty, glossy, commercial, arena pop sound. Even back when I didn't really listen to music, I could still tell I didn't like the unwarranted melodrama of Believer, Natural, ... read more

Today I learned that Jax once won a John Lennon Scholarship in songwriting from New York University.
You'd never tell with songs like "Neurospicy" and "Victoria's Secret", or "Holiday" where she literally just lists holidays, or "A Song for Chelsea" which is the most damaging, doomer bullshit song dedicated to an actual kid.

Even when you look past all the shitty internet-speak woven in the lyrics, the badly tackled topics, and GODAWFUL ukulele ... read more

Some people are just meant to write children's music.

The only thing keeping me from slapping a full 100 on this track is that I kinda wish they swapped the placement of some of the lyrics on the girl's rap verse. Like, maybe "I'll get real high" should've come before "Like Peter Pan up in the sky" since, you know, flying gets you high. Maybe they thought that reference would've been too on-the-nose; oh well.

Otherwise… this is probably the greatest "indie" party song of the 2010's ... read more

The radio at my workplace refuses to play Carly Rae, Kesha, Usher, ANY alternative music, almost ALL R&B, and absolutely ALL rap unless it isn't as pop as sonically possible.

But they have no problem playing the new Lukas Graham song that doesn't chart anywhere.

Funny how that works.

If you think this song "isn't that bad", try listening it fourty more times on repeat. Without pausing it.

By then you'll feel a mere fraction of the torment I was subjected to when this song was being played at work in 2021. I'd never hear it again until one day in '23 when it played at a mall.

Nothing music.

THE TOP 5 MOMENTS IN LUKAS GRAHAM'S HIT SONG "7 YEARS"

5. The really passionate way he says "will I" on the last verse
— WILLAH

4. "Remember life, and then your life becomes a better one"
— This is such a deep lyric about life and memories, it means that if you remember life then what the fuck does this shit ass line mean.

3. "By eleven, smokin' herb and drinkin' burnin' liquor"
— This lyric really explains how ... read more

Above all things, Hey Ya! by OutKast is the ULTIMATE execution of the "happy song/sad lyrics" musical trope.

You can find tens of thousands of acoustic covers of Hey Ya! online, where the stripped-down sound allows the crushing lyrics (about a miserable, loveless relationship trying to hold itself together with nothing left in the tank) to reverberate, and it fucking REVERBATES.

Everyone and their mother knows that "Hey Ya!'s actually a sad song". But there may never be ... read more

Sigh.

I'mma be honest with you guys. The only Eminem album I've ever listened to was his Slim Shady LP. Aside from that, I know two handfuls of his hits, very few deep cuts, and a very basic summary of his artistic falloff.

So I don't know if Houdini is his first (kiiiiiind of successful?) attempt at recapturing and modernizing his old Slim Shady schtick.
He pulls ALL the classic tricks (ba-dum-tsss): a dated ass beat that would sound like shit beneath anyone but Eminem, oddball rhyme ... read more

For this review, I'd like to compare this song to ANOTHER song; one that, like "I Don't Wanna Wait", shamelessly interpolates the melodies from "Dragostea Din Teï" , or Numa Numa, whatever the hell you know the iconic one-hit-wonder as.

"My Life Is a Party" is an old 2010's Hands Up track by now-defunct German band, ItaloBrothers. (lol)
It doesn't just pull the same schtick as David Guetta's song over here, "My Life Is a Party" interpolates the ... read more

AI has no place in art, period.

This to me is Maroon 5's crowning moment. Adam's signature white-guy-soul voice (a factor that'll sometimes put a suffocating layer of cheese around a M5 track) actually maneuvers the song flawlessly. Also the musicianship on this track is next-level. Everything from the jazzy piano chords, the tight drum work, the little organ at the start of the second verse, that crazy showtune-y sax/piano bridge, to the outro where everybody just goes off; it's just amazing vibes all around.

When I hear ... read more

After months hearing this guy and his two singles on the radio literally out of nowhere, I think I figured out what I think of him:
Teddy Swims is a good SINGER, but he's not a good ARTIST.

Mr. Teddy Swims DOES have a nice voice, and you know what, there are some nice grooves, production, and sentiments on "I've Tried Everything But Therapy".

My favorite moments include What More Can I Say, a funky little soul track with a nice hook and some great backing vocals. ... read more

Ah, this must've been the "Last Night" of the 2000s.

- An extremely saccharine, "contemporary", poppy, vaguely "country", vaguely "ballad", monogenre song
- It's sang by a smug, douchey voice
- It hit #1 in the Adult Contemporary chart, and eight other countries, because of course it does, it's the most unchallenging shit ever
- It gives me what the kids call "the ick"

I'm lucky I avoided this song as a kid, this shit woulda drove me insane.

Auto-pilot blue-eyed soul. Melodramatic, repetitive, mastered WAY too loud, and ultimately, boring as all hell.

Sure, Teddy has a good voice, but the lyrics are literally strictly written in cliches. You'd find more substance in a Bryan Adams song.

NOTHING about this song warrants how big it became, and it gets lamer and lamer each time I hear it.

I can't imagine what Flo was going for here, singing about getting his dick sucked over vacation resort commercial music.

There is a deep, dark, special spot in Hell reserved for this band.