What do I mainly look for in music? The ability to soundtrack anything. Absolutely anything you can think of, this album covers. The first time I had sex? Me and my half brother were listening to Haggstrom. Washing off all of my aunt's toys? I was bumping Wet Hands. Scrolling reels? I'm listening to Thirteen. Realizing halfway through the school day that I left my spoon and lighter at home? I had Moog City in my ears. The first time I fingered somebody? Dry Hands. First time trying ... read more

I'll admit, when the layered guitars come in on "Never Meant", I get aroused to the point where I desperately need to fuck the nearest object to me, whether it be my wall, my Maureen Tucker body pillow, my The Seer vinyl, or even my cousin if he's in the room with me. However, the rest of the album just doesn't reach that same level of pleasure. -4 points for that major shock and disappointment, and -.2 points after that because 58 is my favorite number.

I prefer the term, "Fashionably Late". I'm a little late reviewing this because I've had better things to do, along the lines of genuinely figure out how to fuck The Seer's back vinyl cover due to it gaping at me like an open mouth, being incredibly invested in Big Bang Theory, making sure my amnesiac uncle takes his medication on time, beating his ass when he DOESN'T take his meds and tries to fight me because he doesn't know who I am, and on top of ... read more

I for one have always believed in the goodness of mankind, and the restoration of our truest, caveman, 1800's-like ways, and there's no better soundtrack to achieving this goal than the smash hit that never ceases to get my dick hard.

I have such an insurmountable respect for Radiohead. That being said, though, that motherfucker's face both creeps me out and sexually arouses me to the point where I am likely the first human male to experience ovulation, and I am kinda split in that regard. I want him to have my babies and nurture them with his kind-hearted soul and caretaker-like behavior, but my BDSM test results clearly state that I am 94% sadist, which isn't ideal for the relationship he wants to have.

You know what? I kinda side with NME on this. Metallica themselves with an absolutely epic comeback on an album with perfect masturbation form on that wrist! Let me tell you, St. Anger is almost as misunderstood as the likes of Fred by Ween, or even BTS. This is genuinely some of the best tunes we've heard from this monolithic band ever! Now, while Invisible Kid is the reason this isn't a perfect 10/10 $100%, that's genuinely the ONLY reason I can think of as to why this ... read more

I'm split on this one. On the left hand, the music is pretty damn good. But on the right hand, its wrist is sore from being left alone with nothing but that cover to entertain me. I guess that since the pleasures brought forth were mediocre, it drags it down by 4 points. The extra 1 point is simply due to how badly my wrist hurts. Seriously, after doing some self reflection, none of that was even worth it in the first place!

I'm not sure why I let that one white girl that swears to everybody she's mixed with Asian and the Mexican Hello Kitty fangirl get my hopes up. Obviously these dumb bitches aren't going to make good music.

Nighly misunderstood. Are you people ready for the argument that Fred is one of Ween's best efforts? The Smersh song is kinda dogshit, but this 82 is for Fred in particular. Truly overlooked genius.

Now that's what I call a 10/10 album!

You know, I just never really GOT ambient music. It's JUST fucking BORING to me. It puts ME to SLEEP. It's ALMOST as unentertaining as INDIE rock. Seriously, WHAT the fuck IS this? It's MEDIOCRE and I only liked DELPHIUM.

Arguably the greatest video game OST of all time. I still remember the feeling of getting my Rare Grumpyre and Deedge during the annual Christmas event thing. Being a completely free to play broke boy, obviously some shit like that was bound to have me jumping for joy.

The ONE time I try, just TRY to connect with an album better on vinyl, I'm graced with that hairy butthole on the back cover?

It didn't even feel nice sticking it in. I'll be real with you; I wasn't about to TRY and fuck a vinyl, but how could you look at a piece of art such as That Freaky Ass Dog™'s asshole and not at least get a bit curious as to what would happen if you carved a hole and tried? It's not like it's my fault. TFAD was quite literally ... read more

Yeah fuck that. I'd like to request that Roger Waters be publicly shamed and hanged for his crimes; that is, making a piece of shit without most of his buddies. Whereas other Pink Floyd albums are capable of toe-curling sadistic pleasure, The Final Dogshit's emotions that come with listening to it are moreso unsatisfactory than anything.

This is music white/lesbian/depressed/furry niggas gatekeep on Instagram to "Not Give It Away For Free To The Normies." Also, this is their best album.

Do I really need to explain myself?

Yeah, fuck this nigga and his stupid-ass small dick and balls that made this piece of shit. Rot in a dumpster.

I don't like his name.

High quality, invigorating, good; orgasm inducing. I swear, my semen is perpetually drained out of my nutsack EVERY single time this album comes on.

Boring. My review will match this album's energy.

Why the fuck is this in the yellow? Lemme (fail to) change that, this EP is utter dogshit. Blasphemy that this could ever even exist in the first place. His lyrics suck, his melodies are soulless and without meaning, and he does nothing. Sleep Thru Ur Alarms is obviously a SoundCloud classic, but it's borderline unlistenable and Pulling On is one of his worst songs, period. The way the song uses ambient pads is literally the most clear-cut copy and paste bullshit ever; most ambient songs ... read more