More than half of the songs are cover tunes, but the Byrds make them like 58 billion times more gorgeous with their chiming 12-string guitars and vocal harmonies. This is one of the greatest albums of the mid-60s. So heavenly, you'll cry. It's a sin that all these beautiful voices ended up in the same band singing together.

We saw a bachelorette's party at the Mexican restaurant we ate at tonight. They all wore tight t-shirts saying "Guaranteed Sex." So I raped all of them, the ... read more

Isn't Hollywood Records owned by Disney? What the hell is Disney doing signing the "Butthole Surfers"? They do know that's a fag joke, right? For that matter, what the hell was Disney thinking when they released that director's cut of Pocohontas where she gets a DP from Lewis & Clark?
But enough about my home life. Let's speak of this rearranged version of After The Astronaut that has finally been made available to the public. First of all, for those of us who own the original ... read more

Both more mainstream AND more fuqt-up than the last album, this one seems just the teeniest bit weaker, possibly because it doesn't kick quite as much teenage pimply hormone ass. Well, "Birds" is okay, and "Ulcer Breakout" is faster and furiouser than anything Rancid will ever do, but most of this is a whole lot mellower. Be it the weak balladry of "The Jingle Of A Dog's Collar," the surreal C/W genericism of "TV Star," the simple druggy mood music of ... read more

Engineered by John Paul Jones of Led Zeppelin fame, this is pretty much a 70's heavy metal album produced as if it were a 90's pop album - with some actual pop and humor thrown in for diversity. It's not brilliantly frigged-up like the Buttholes of old, but, like Pioughd, it's really fun, and unlike Pioughd, it has an abundance of actual melodies!!! Plus, Leary's lead work (accompanied here by underground hero Helios Creed) is as impressive and idiosyncratic as always.
In fact, he does an ... read more

I know I'm supposed to lower-case the title of this record, but I simply don't feel like it. Just be thankful I don't own any K.D. Lang records. I hated Pioughd (pronounced "P.O.'d) when it came out, but I've grown to enjoy the crap out of it. It's just a 45-minute dumb joke! There's a song called "Revolution" that's actually about Garry Shandling, "Hurdy Gurdy Man" again, a stupid country-western goof that just keeps reprising itself all over the album, an old BH ... read more

Thus far, their last real stroke of genius. This time, the goal was to create well-written, well-played, and well-produced SONGS - pop, rock, blues, psychedelia, folk, etc.; the strange thing is - they're completely successful, but this band's idea of what constitutes a "normal song" is so bizarre, it's still probably the most creative (and, well, WEIRD!) album to be released in 1988 by anybody! The songs don't have listed titles (just drawings), but man overboard, do they ever have ... read more

This is the one. My god, what an unholy racket! The concept this time is frigged-up blues metal. A semi-cover of Black Sabbath's "Sweet Leaf" starts it off rather uneventfully, but then it really gets weird. Little bits of songs, sludge guitar recorded at the wrong speed, thrash parody, Indian music (recorded off of a record, I'd wager), a sexual assault nightmare taped off of talk radio and tacked onto a frighteningly heavy bass line, more industrial noise, and ONE semi-normal rock ... read more

Their art record. I bet this alienated some fans. NO guitar noise! Very minimal. Extremely loud tribal rhythms accompanied by pianos, organs, twangy surf guitars, and distorted vocals. Some of the songs have melodies; others just have moods. There's another terrific deconstruction - this one of the Guess Who's "American Woman" (done tribal/industrial!). Other highlights? The violin on "Creep In The Cellar," the cool whipping guitar drone on "Whirling Hall Of ... read more

Man, the guitar gets REALLY screwed up on this album - as do the vocals. Unlike "Cowboy Bob," a fairly normal and really friggin' catchy rock song, the rest of this album is full of under-produced, tinny, hissy racket. But in a good way! Track-by-track, you ask?
"Concubine," as far as I can gather, has no guitar line. All I can hear are bass, drums, vocals screamed through a megaphone, and a bunch of noise that may or may not be coming from a guitar amp. "Eye Of The ... read more

After Simon and Garfunkel split up, guitarist Joe Genaro decided to that's no what The? Adse FTHIS is rilNOOO! Dcmo ne t; you're NOT A REAL COP lgge th'at s not what NO styio pati!!!

(six months later)

After the Dead Milkmen split up, guitarist Joe Genaro combined two of his pseudonyms from that band - Joe Jack Talcum and Butterfly Fairweather - into the phrase "Butterfly Joe." He then grabbed the drummer from The Dead Milkmen, a man named Dean "Clean" Sabatino (I don't ... read more

I’m so tired I literally have tires growing out of my body, but that’s no excuse for not penning a mediocre review of Burzum’s Fallen CD, so here:

With his second post-prison release, Burzum murders the competition, slashes away at convention and burns down all signs of

This album sounds just like all the other free range Burzum albums, but with three important upgrades:
1) Vocalist Varg Vikernes augments his trademark ethereal screaming with deep, uninteresting singing.
2) ... read more

Hello, this is Kristian "Varg 'Count (Burzum) Grishnackh'" Vikernes, and I'd like to thank the Wal-Mart chain of stores for allowing me this space on its MarkPrindle.com retail site to tell you a bit about my new CD Belus.

As many of you know, I've spent the last 15 years in the slammer (or 'slam,' as Steven Tyler calls it in "Rats In The Cellar," possibly my favorite song on Aerosmith's Rocks LP) for the murder of Oystein "Euronymous" Aarseth. However, as of late ... read more

More prison synths but even dumber this time. Evil sounds that aren't evil, circusy-tones that are fun but forgettable, even more endless repetition of simple little melodies that a child could have written -- occasionally enjoyable (especially the bizarre sound experiment "Frijos goldene Tranen," which appears to feature both ring modulation and acoustic guitar for a chilly feel not unlike early King Crimson, which I'm sure is exactly what Varg was going for. What black metallist ... read more

Funny how killing a guy and going to prison will put a damper on your rock and roll career. Just ask Eddie Money! So's Vargarie recorded this all-synth minimalist amateur classical-type album while cooped up in the pen. Is this what my tax dollars are paying for? Ensuring that convicted murderers can put out their least interesting works yet? Granted it's an exciting Rambo moving picture compared to Glenn Danzig's comparable Black Aria, but that's like comparing apples and really shitty Danzig ... read more

Nerps and sherps, baby! Nerps and sherps! That's what Varg is singing about this one, Nerps and sherps!

No, but venereous baby.... Listen at THIS shim - a feller at the Houston Chronicle - I'm not gonna give out his real name, but it rhymes with "Gwight Bilverman" - he says to me, "I'd love to review your site but you say 'Fuck' too many times! You know us family papers!" Can you believe that pussyshit? So now I'm a failure. A nobody. And it's all the fault of a guy at the ... read more

Four songs = 45 minutes! As ever always and eve, interesting stuff though. Kind of the And Justice For All of black metal, what with its endless repetitive riffing. Track one? Midtempo riffage typical of Varg - chords arising and a-lowering into the bowels of rockin' goth hell with a churchy synth background. Track B? Speedcore! Track M? A departure! Odd two-note bass line more reminiscent of Can than Burzum. All three become Business As Usual (copyright Men At Work) pretty quickly though, with ... read more

Less speed thrash this time aboundst, with the majority vote going to more midtempo Iron Maiden-ish riffitudinal viscosities. Also more atmospherics and keyboards for your listening pLEASURE TIME PRODUCTS. Vocals? Stiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiill ghastly! The production seems stronger this time 'rounds, with more bass and double-tracked guitars in the mix. And for a big superchange that would certainly stick around for decades to come, Mr. Varg has started penning his lyrics in some weird Norwegian ... read more

A landmark black metal recording. Varg handles all drums, bass, guitars, synths and vocals himself, blasting forth with boo-tih-boo-tih-boo-tih speed grindcore (not cymbal-crazy noise grindcore like early Napalm Death - just a solid 4/4 backbeat being played entirely too speedily) and abominably ugly and annoying shrieked vocals. The Pagan Horseman of Odin? Or just a really annoying young longhair making noise? A little of both.

The lyrics are all in English but you can't understand a word of ... read more

So much for that, I guess. It's back to power-pop-punk with loud vocals and unremarkable melodies. These songs are a bit more nuanced and less grotesquely happy than the TTT/All Set/Modern triumvirate, but aside from the impossibly pleasing tonic-subdominant opener and downright bouncy "I Don't Exist," there's not a track on here that holds my attention all the way through. Furthermore, I haven't heard this many obligatory-sounding backup vocals since the first non-Danzig Misfits ... read more

Well, leave it to Merge Records owner "Ass-Kickin' Mac The Ass-Kicker" McCaughan of SuperMotherFuckinChunk to get The Buzzcocks off their sissy fairy la-de-da asses and making some ANGRY BALLZ-TO-THE-WALL CHUNKY FUZZY LOUD THICK RICH BASSY DARK ROCKKKKK MUSIC! Have their guitars ever been this loud and heavy? Have their voices ever been this buried in the mix? Has Pete Shelley ever written this many great songs in the past two decades? The answers are "No!," "No!" ... read more