The Chinese call it "Curt Crassic." HA HA! AHHH HA HA HA!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!! HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! AH HA HAHA HA HA AHHAH! AH HAH !!!!

I suppose I would find that less amusing if my name were Curt Crassic, but it's not and it's impossible to make fun of "Mark Prindle" so HA HA HA FUCK YOU PISS-SKINNED RICE ASSES!!!!!!!!!!

Oh don't worry - it's okay to refer to the Chinese as "piss-skinned rice asses" as long as you do it over the Internet. Similarly, ... read more

This isn't really a Blue Oyster Cult album, though it features all of the members at various times. It's some concept album dating back to the early BOC albums - developed by ex-BOC drummer Albert Bouchard and producer Sandy Pearlman, and featuring the unique talents of such unique and talented talents as Robbie Krieger (from The Doors!!!!), Joe Satriani (from Joe Satriani!!!!) and Marc Biedermann (from Blind Illusion!!!! HOLY FUCK!!!! BLIND IFUCKINGLLUSION!!!!! I JUST FUCKED MY SHIT UP THE ... read more

This is an oddly scattered record that tries to be an awful lot of things at once. First of all, what would YOU think if you brought home the latest album by your favorite hard rock band and discovered that the first THREE songs (out of a mere 9) were all written by outside songwriters -- as is a FOURTH track later on the disc? You'd have to figure that either your favorite band is in creative turmoil or the record company is pushing them around for not selling enough records. And then wouldn't ... read more

I don't like to cuss, so I'm going to restrain myself here and simply ask, "What the fornication is this defecation?" Bad pussy metal, that's what it is. Bad pussy metal with godawful chord sequences that make you feel like you're listening to Poison or the Bullet Boys, but without those bands' highly developed senses of charisma. Disgustingly bad. One of the choruses is: "B! O! C! You can be whatever you wanna be! You got the power, we got the key! B! O! C!". I think it's ... read more

I really enjoy odd melodies. Like "Don't Turn Your Back." Simple, but there's just something *different* about it. Bass guitar bouncin' around between those tentative, questioning chords. Blue Oyster Cult are good with stuff like 'at. You've heard "(Don't Fear) The Reaper," right? Just strange little riffs. Not necessarily SCARY and definitely not heavy metal (thank god -- they'd suck at that); just slightly strange. It's when they go OVERBOARD trying to create a threatening ... read more

FUCK YEAH!!!! The Blue Oyster Corporation is back playing GRITTY WEIRD GUITAR ROCK again!!!! No more dippy pop aspirations, this is the Cult as they began and should have always stayed - a little off the mark, a little too skrewy for mainstream success, but perfect for guitar rock fiends like me. The song titles still aren't as cool as they were back in the old days, but the riffs and slightly menacing air are! For example, dig the first song "Black Blade" - That ain't no guitar ... read more

This was their attempt to leave their macabre image behind and 'go pop,' with Cheap Trick producer Tom Werman along for the ride. Looks like somebody's run out of inspiration though, because even the BEST songs on here sound more suited to Boston and Foreigner than that cool band who once serenaded us with "You're As Beautiful As A Foot." And yes, it's hilarious that the Bouchard brothers wrote a parody of The Cars' "Just What I Needed" that wound up making the final track ... read more

Great news! The success of "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" made Blue Oyster Cult start trying too hard for hits and more coke money! Their songs are no longer fucked up beyond repair, instead relying more on tired "scary" riffs that aren't scary, as well as incredibly stupid audience pandering like disco beats, predictable hard rock chord sequences and a song entitled (I'm embarrassed to even write this) "R. U. Ready 2 Rock." And oh yes, the song is every bit as inept as ... read more

Has "(Don't Fear) The Reaper" on it. Not sure why "Don't Fear" is in parentheses. This album (another super-high 8 on the Mark Prindle Scale Of Death!) features more piano in the mix than the others and more sort of "arrangements" going on the songs rather than the straightahead creep cock rock they put on the first three records. Might have been an attempt to have some radio hits, dunno! Worked though. Really enjoyable, diverse and accessible album with forboding ... read more

More great goodness from Ian Astbury's Blue Oyster Cult. One thing I should mention is that part of the overall Flue Oyster Bult approach is to throw in jazzy guitar chords where you'd expect normal r'n'r Johnny Thunders chords to go. For example, instead of "E-A-D," you might get "E-A-jazzy chord that you weren't expecting". Which I find neat because in the history of rock music, nobody has ever used a jazz chord. One question for you though, while I've got your ear in my ... read more

OBSERVATION: One of the key figures in the history of the Blue OYSTER Cult is producer Sandy PEARLman. OYSTER??? PEARL??? Am I the only one who smells a conspiracy here????

I don't find this one quite as compelling and tunefully obese as the debut, but it does offer some more cool menacing tunes, as well as some less mischief-laden but still great rock tunes like the hardcore speed rocker "The Red & The Black," rockabilly-riffed "O.D.'d On Life Itself" and of course the ... read more

Echoey drums way off in the background, slithery but sleazy rock and roll wankoff guitar lines with a touch of menace, a bass player and a fuzzy-haired D&D player by the name of Eric Bloom put out this weird, wild record way back when I was just a load in my daddy's diaper.

Let me start this whole thing over, in hopes that you haven't read this beginning section and will instead begin at the end of the review and read it backwards, like our friends in the Chinese Kingdom.

All I know is ... read more

More art rock (in case you couldn't tell by the album title). Singer Ham still trying to make the band sound like Traffic or King Crimson. Still doesn't come close to the same league as Mr. Jim Rutledge, Rock Warrior Of An Unknowing Generation. And most of the songs are every bit as despicable as the ones on Passage though. Sure, parts of it totally cook breakfast - the wonderfully energetic repeating guitar run in "Voices," for example -- but holy christ, did somebody in the world ... read more

Okay, so there are three important facets to the greatness that is Bloodrock: (A) Jim Rutledge's husky manly vocals, (B) Lee Pickens' stinging and occasionally annoying lead guitar runs and (C) awesome rock songwriter John Nitzinger. After USA, THEY ALL SPLIT. So what the fuck is this shit????

Answer: BAD BAD SHIT. They picked up a new singer/songwriter/flute player named Warren Ham who does his college best to transform the band into a sub-par prog rock band like Genesis or a really bad ... read more

More funky, catchy riffs. The Bloodrocks won't let you down - they're too busy bringin' ya up! Sure, there are a few riffs on here that seem more "generic" than "inspired," but they're still as good as anything Deep Purple ever came up with, and they're LEGENDS!!! Why, you can't enter a clothing store on the entire east coast without hearing somebody raving about the songwriting genius of Mr. Roger Glover, the bass playing prowess of Mr. Ray Gillen, the drum skills of Mr. ... read more

Is it Southern Rock? I've heard foolish critics (one) refer to Bloodrock as such, but I don't hear it. Because they have their own set, blocky, heavy, sludgey, rockin' sound. When they try to do pop, it's not light enough. When they try Southern rock, it's not twangy enough. When they try to get funky, you don't move your feet. It's not pop rock, southern rock or funk rock - it's BLOODrock. That means good old early '70s heavy rock -- like Deep Purple, but (in my opinion anyway) with more ... read more

Hey I forgot to mention something - not all their riffs were creepy or even angry. Bht Blloedrocks also liked a good fuzzy pop number. This was evident on the first album through such nifties as "Gimme Your Head," which kinda resembled a cross between the Monkees and Nirvana, with a smidgeon of John McEnroe tossed in and a little umbrella of Denver, Colorado along with a couple of ice cubes celebrating the number 53 and a little purple stuffed shark that jiggles around the floor when ... read more

Early 70s hard rock. EVIL dark themes and noodly guitar solos. Gruff singer guy and heavy fuzzed out Steppenwolf/Alice Cooper/Sabbath/Zeppelin-type riffs blastin' at ya. Keyboards like Deep Purple, but actually playing NOTES sometimes! And get this --

you ready?

a BLOODY ROCK on the cover!!!!! I know!!!! And you thought originality didn't enter the American psyche until 1987!!!!!!!!!! You couldn't have mistaken more been. Bloodrock is a very little known band, I think maybe from Texas? I ... read more

Decent! Even with Dio gone again and Tony Martin back again, they're going out of their way to make a 90s sounding record. It's really similar to Cross Purposes actually, with a nice emphasis on loud but not slick guitars and a singer who mostly sounds like a human being, having abandoned that awful 80's operatic yell thing. Only problem is that Iommi hasn't come up with a full album of killer riffs. Only about half of these make the grade. Still, that half is really nice -- there are some ... read more

Decent! Even with Dio gone again and Tony Martin back again, they're going out of their way to make a 90s sounding record. It's really similar to Dehumanizer actually, with a nice emphasis on loud but not slick guitars and a singer who mostly sounds like a human being, having abandoned that awful 80's operatic yell thing. Only problem is that Iommi hasn't come up with a full album of killer riffs. Only about half of these make the grade. Still, that half is really nice -- there are some weird ... read more