Talk about a ball of suck.

You are invited to an important talk being held on the subject of the recent Ball of Suck, a kissing-focused party thrown by t

Yesterday it was brought to my attention that between the Buzzcocks' breakup and reunion, Pete Shelley released several electronics-focused Thomas Dolby-style hit singles like "Homosapien" and "Telephone Operator." I urge you to check out the ghastly music videos available on YouTube; "Homosapien" is ... read more

Position: Chief Executive Officer
Organization: Best Friends Animal Society
Location: Utah
Date posted: 3/5/2009

In the late 1980s, when Best Friends was in its early days, roughly 17 million dogs and cats were being killed in shelters every year. Despite the commitment of shelter workers to the animals in their care, the conventional belief was that little could be done to lower that terrible number.

QUALIFICATIONS, KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS
·Demonstrated track record of success as the ... read more

Yeah, more like BuzzCROCKS!!!

Of SHIT!!!

After a brief full-band reunion, the rhythm section said "Up your ass, Stinky" and went back to work on the carrot farm. As such, Whatsisname and Roger Ebert got the, okay I'll look up their names.

As such, Peter Nelson and Dave Winfield got a new rhythm section and okay I still didn't look up their names. I'll do so now.

As such, Castor McOilField and Steve Diggle got a new rhythm section and okay I still didn't look up their names but I ... read more

How is it that a compilation of eight different records sounds more cohesive than its studio follow-up? This album is a complete mess! It's clear from the beginning that something is awry, as the very first song (punker "Paradise") jumps from chord to chord seemingly at random; whoever told Pete Shelley this song has a 'hook' must've been high on the dope! And I don't mean President Reagan!

Though the record definitely improves after this trainwreck of a beginning, it remains ... read more

If I know you right about now, you're out there worrying, "I wish Mark would stop reviewing this English band. It's as if he doesn't love America anymore." But this is simply not the case. I love America as much as I always have, and maybe even more. To celebrate, here's a little 'Get To Know America' quiz that I've prepared for all the foreigners out there in the audience tonight:

Q: Why did John Wilkes Boothe assassinate President Lincoln?
A: To impress Jodie Foster.

Q: How many ... read more

Something unbelievable happened to me last week, and when I tell you about it you're going to think I'm lying, but it's TRUE! My wife was there and she saw the entire miracle come down to Earth and take place. I had set my alarm for the ridiculous time of 9:52 AM (it's a long story) (shockingly, involving OCD), and like many kids of today aged 35 and younger, rather than using an old-fashioned ring alarm like a 36-year-old bag, I set my alarm to a rock and roll radio station playing all the ... read more

The sticker on the cover brags that Rodney is the star, bringing his hilarious comedy jokes to a kooky new wacky band on a zany label in the funny town of Laughadelphia, Pennsylvania. And laughs? OH! How you will laugh!

Uproarious Highlights Include:
- "Sweet Angel of Forgiveness look down from above on the people that you say you love" (HA!!!!! MY MANY SMELLS INDEED!!!!)
- "They say this life is a terrible thing/That's why you can never hear the Angels sing" (ANGELS??? AS ... read more

This is a for real 10. I'm too old to be into hipster kitsch silliness, and I don't pretend to like things just because they're from a bygone era and seem ridiculous and laughable to today's knowing, jaded youth people. I like what I like cuz I like it - oh yeah! And that includes the album Pac-Man Fever by Buckner & Garcia.

My father purchased the album for me when I was nine years old. At the time I was a videogame fiend and extremely excited about this brand new album of songs devoted ... read more

San Antonio, TX's "The Bubble Puppy" was a handful of furry young men who played earthy hippy rock music with three-part vocal harmonies. "Oh great, another bunch of long-haired reefer hairs playing ass-long solos on top of forgettable shit riffs" is probably what you're thinking, according to my seismograph. But see no that's inaccurate. Aside from their ridiculous name, what separated The Bubble Puppy from so many other no-name earthy hippy rock bands of the late '60s was ... read more

The Breeders are BACK! And this time they're DIVERSE! Check this out, then I'll get more general:

"Overglazed" - Gorgeous psych-fuzz-pop
"Bang On" - Playful, simplistic bullshit. I HATE this song.
"Night of Joy" - Eerie early '60s girl group
"We're Gonna Rise" - Lullabye with a dark twist
"German Studies" - Punky! And German!
"Spark" - Moody blueprint for never-completed song
"Istanbul" - Hipster song with keyboard wigglies ... read more

They are trying to sound like the first Breeders album, but their songwriting is kinda like on the second Breeders album, so it's generic boring pop music,. but recorded by Steve Albini so there's tons of space in the mix and everything sounds empty. Worked wonders for the first album because the SONGS were eerie. But these songs aren't. Most of them, in fact, are just boring. Only a few are up to Pod's level. Most of them are just simple chord sequences trying to fool you into thinking they're ... read more

Their big alternative rock album. No Throwing Muse but more importantly no Stiv Albany. Had a big alternative rock hit called "Cannonball" that got played at every college party I ever went to, meaning that I had to continuously watch drunk people bang their heads to the pussyass chorus as if it actually "kicked ass" instead of just dabbing at it with a soft penis. There's lots of happy big distorted rock songs like that on this album, to the expense of the weird moods and ... read more

An astonishing distillation of the creepy ambience and jaggedy song stylings that helped make the Pixies and the first Throwing Muses album (the only one I've heard!) such incredible additions to the musical catalog of an American Dream (copyright Crosby Stills Nash and Young). Pod has NO warmth. Even the songs that should be warm like "Only In 3's" exude nothing but cold detachedness. And yes, that's probably because live-mic-crazy woman-hater Steve Albini was at the helm and likely ... read more

I have this thing about Bowie -- I can't imagine EVER "loving" him and I am always astonished to hear about people who do (or did -- The Germs' Darby Crash, for example). When I look very closely at the problem, I think I can pinpoint it as his voice. I don't actively HATE his voice -- I just don't particularly LIKE it either. He just sounds like a guy that isn't any fun at all -- a haughty Britishman. So I'm never ever biased TOWARDS him - always against. This means that he has to ... read more

A lot of people levelled citizen arrest charges at ...Hours, the last David Bowie album, saying that it was a bunch of slow adult pop for old boring people who drive cars. I'd like to double that assessment for this Heathen thing if I may. Forget about any so-called ongoing comeback -- a good portion of this album is as stodgy and church-boring as anything on Tonight. Lots of smooth synths abound, with active lead guitars kinda buried in the background most of the time. Occasionally, the bass ... read more

NOTE: I ORIGINALLY GAVE THIS ONE A 10, BUT I'VE NO CLUE WHY. HERE'S THE 10 REVIEW:

This is going to be a hotly contested decision on my part, but I'm a hotly contested young man so I feel I'm up (boner) for the challenge. In Mark Prindle, Famed Web Reviewer That Like Ten People Have Heard Of's opinion, this is the most consistent album that David Bowie has ever recorded. Out of 10 songs, only 2 strike me as not great - and even one of those is pretty good! Or maybe I'm just so happy to be ... read more

Can everybody keep it down please? I'm trying to listen to David Bowie making an ass out of himself. See, that's the thing - people always give credit to Bowie and Madonna for constantly re-inventing themselves, but. isn't that generally the sign of a midlife crisis? In what way is David Bowie's co-opting of Aphex Twin-style impossibly fake techno drums any different than a bald guy who hits 40 and buys a Trans Am? People can argue, "Well, he's just trying to keep up with the times and not ... read more

So it is said, this CD is actually called 1. Outside, as it was intended to be another 3-part trilogy with Brian Enough. Luckily, Bowie Constrictor gave up on it - hopefully forever. There's a little book inside telling a "non-linear Gothic Drama Hyper-cycle" called "The Diary of Nathan Adler Or The Art- Ritual Murder Of Baby Grace Blue" with story and layout revolving around dumbass techno-cyber buffoonery that has aged every bit as well as the ageless `80s synth drums of ... read more

This is an extremely rare CD that not very many people know about or own. In fact, they only made one copy and I own it now so if you want to hear it, too bad, it's mine. It's apparently a soundtrack to a British telly series (IMPORTANT NOTE: The British call a TV a "telly." In honor of Kojak's Telly Savalas, star of TV's Kojak), and it's pretty good! It's split between mostly instrumental background music and fully-formed relaxed, lush pop songs. What I like about it is that it's ... read more

Like a sarcophagus awakening from the vestiges of a long cold winter, David Bowie decided to leave boring synth pop behind to dazzle the kids with a boring rock band called Tin Machine. After two or three hours of this boring project, he went back to doing what he does best - boring solo material. I have NO clue where he got the term "White Noise" for this album title because there is nothing on here that even approaches the kind of guitar feedback tension that that term implies. ... read more