More back-up vox, horns, "funky" guitar (except during songs that are meant to "rock out," which feature "noisy" guitar), unnecessary backup vocal choirs, synths, big drums and an aging Britishman who is no longer capable of writing anything even remotely related to a melody. He sounds SO dim-witted and archaic here. Those who rave about Bowie's miraculous ability to predict trends before they happen (don't ask me for examples; I've never followed the guy's career) ... read more

When people, critics and fans refer to David Bowie as an "artistic genius," THIS is what they're talking about. The dark synth pop of "Loving The Alien," the anthemic glory of "Blue Jean," the leaking diarrhea-filled garbage bag of every other song on the album - Tonight is sheer slick featureless and instantly forgettable synth pop with occasional reggae aspirations. Consider it to be the last three songs of Let's Dance expanded into a rock opera of awkward, ... read more

David Bowie cleaned up his vagrant act for this slick, overproduced spandex thong. NO NOT A SPANDEX THONG! Damn that wife of mine for putting immoral thoughts in my red hot cock. NO! NOT MY RED HOT COCK! My Boston Bean. NO.. screw this

David Bowie used to be a messy, druggy- sounding buttpirate - on this release, none is such the case! Everything is perfectly synthetic, sterile and note-exact. The instrumentation is dull, but (pirate) the melodies are so appealing, he had a bunch of hits! ... read more

An oddball mixture of murky, grubby, clueless robotic dance/romance funk/pop/rock. Not nearly as "mature" or sterile as he would sound in three short years, Bowie at this point just sounds confused. Eno is gone and he's left with all these different influences yanking and pulling at him from all angles of his brain (one ghastly song even reprises "Major Tom," a little-known character that appeared in an obscure early album track!!!!). It's not an uninteresting record though ... read more

Da woild would have you believe that this is the least good of the Bowie/Eno collaborations, but that's like saying that You Can Tune A Piano, But You Can't Tune A Fish is the least good of the REO Speedwagon live LPs. It's not that these songs are any BETTER than those on the last two (though several of them are), but that there are more "songs" to enjoy. NO AMBIENCE! Instead, this is a collection of more normal new wave/rock - he has smashed the guitar/piano pop/rock and kooky ... read more

This is the second of three LPs Bowie did with Eno (called "The Berlin Trilogy" in homage to that song "Take My Breath Away" from Top Gun), and it features an even denser mix of electronics, guitars, pianos and rhythm section - instead of bleeps and bloops atop songs, the noises are now meshed and integrated into the songs, making for lots of disorienting, exciting noisescapes (not to mention some ugly vomitous crap like "Blackout"). Even something as deceivingly ... read more

"Low." What is "Low"? Webster's defines it as "near to the ground; depleted; soft; sad; trough (n)." But to the rest of us, it means simply "stumpy." To achieve the most accurate musical depiction of "stumpy" possible without the aid of hatchets, Bowie called up his best friend Brian Eno, former synthesizer fiddler with Roxy Music and ongoing electronics-freaker solo artist/pornography aficionado. The result is an album that sounds an awful lot ... read more

This was originally given a high 7 until Rich Bunnell confronted me in the gymnasium, roughed me up and said, "But it has "TVC15' on it." And that's all it took to convince me to change a high 7 to a low 8. This one only has 6 songs, but they run the gamut of poorly produced, muddy goodness all up. The title track starts us off with some rock that abruptly turns into a cheery Elton John-style pino corn stalk. "Golden Years" was the funky wonderful single, "World On ... read more

On this album, David Bowie refashions himself as a funky soul African-American with saxophones, wah-wah pedals, electric pianos, female backup singers and a coating of overserious disco r'n'b sex so thick and juicy, it's like walking into a strip club and taking a bite out of one of the naked people up there (usually frowned upon). This is the most unpredictable stylistic change you will find throughout his wild, woolly, eminently unsatisfying career, and a short-lived change it proved to be! ... read more

Whistle, whistle, whistle a happy tune! Whistle, whistle, whistle a merry tune! Whistle, whi - Oh! I didn't see you over there! Hello, and welcome to my work environment. As you can see, I am wearing a full suit right now - pin-stripe gray with a light blue shirt and grey tie with squares (aha! Spellcheck accepted BOTH spellings of "gray"! Let me try one more - "grae." Awww! Come on you fuckin' pissdick!!!!). This is because I am critiquing the Diamond Dogs product by artist ... read more

I realize that it seems a little condescending to give one of the highest grade to an ALL-COVERS album, but the fact is that Bowie is apparently much more capable of recognizing a great song than writing one of his own. Check you out all these cover tunes that he and Mick Ronson all glam up: Pink Floyd's "C. Emily's Play," The Who's "I Can't (have) Eggs Plain" and "And He Weighed Annie Hall's Underwear," The Easybeats (featuring George Young, older brother of ... read more

This album shows David Bowie at his most glamourous - his guitars are so loud and his voice is so confident and his songs are so sexy and his picture on the inner sleeve is so embarrassingly homosexual. The hit single is glam classic rock and roller "The Jean Genie" and don't even TRY looking for another hit because you won't find it here.

I saw Nick Cave last night and thought again about "entertainment for a living." I have tremendous respect for anybody who can pull it ... read more

Have you heard that song that goes "Ch-ch-ch-ch- changes!"? Aw man, it's the coolest. It goes "Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes!" It's not on this album though.

Let this serve as official public notice that I stand by my original conviction that this album is overrated.. Now don't get me wrong - it DOES have a bunch of killerass wicked boner songs that tear up your radio dial like an angry Moroccan looking for a DVD copy of The Secret Of Nimh (hey, similes don't grow on trees) - but as ... read more

Or perhaps the REAL problem is that those first three albums were geared towards my DICK. And my dick, she don't have good mustical taste's! With Humphrey Dorby, David Booie has found a piano-filled style of such garnish and clear vision, it's hard to imagine that he is the same artist who floundered his way through The Man Who Sold The World Of David Bowie, Space? Oddity!. Every track features a catchy normal melody, strong, mature playing, clear production (Hornys! Violince! Sexophones!) and ... read more

I need to come clean about something here. I've never been terribly impressed by David Bowie (pronounced "Boooee"). He has always struck me as an extremely normal person of average intelligence who has been told over and over again that he is a genius so he goes out of his way to dress like a clown and create pretentious "art" that hardly ever rises above generic rock, characterized by unexpected shifts into odd, unappealing chord sequences and topped by a nothing British ... read more

The guy has hereby left childlike folk mostly behind and is trying to replace it with slightly more "real" adult music with snatches of psychedelia, blues and pop rock. Sidenote: I'm suffering from a horrible hangover right now, so this review is going to be pretty disjointed and boring. Bowie's emphasis is still mostly on acoustic guitars and his own weak voice - he tries to hit WAY too many high notes on this one and sounds just awful - but the tunes are much less sing-songy ... read more

Another short blast of insane screaming headpoundnoise from Bjorn Aganzarra. The songs aren't quite as consistently catchy, or even as INTENSE, as those on the first record (and am I nutso crazy schizoid 21st century, or is the singer guy starting to sound like the dude from Fearless Iranians From Hell?), but the lyrics are great stream of consciousness political rants ("Murder The Sons Of Bitches!!!," "This Trash Should Have Been Free," "Set Your AM Dial For White ... read more

They rocky rolla's and they gots shits to say to you! They don't like organized religion and they don't like how the government sends people to war to die. Most people like both of these things, but the Born Againsts are not representative of Everyman. They are three skinheads and a singer who looks about 12 years old. And their songs are great! Picture me this: the overwhelmingly overloud guitars of an Unsane smashed together with the generic, competent hardcore of a Sick Of It All, with a ... read more

Not perfect. But still, THIS is the comeback album. FINALLY! No more (or at least, very little) dumb 80s-style hard rock. These riffs are straight out of the 70s and all the better for it. Reach in for a grab bag of very melodic hard rock, ranging from poppy "Burnin' For You" type stuff to funky Deep Purple keyboard jams to odd time-signature trickery to straight-up Chuck Berry rock and roll stylings with a TWIST! Buck produced the record by himself (YAY!) and pumped the guitars way ... read more

Back from the ghostly dead of nightfall, Blue Oyster Cult find themselves in a bizarre supernatural world where nobody really cares that they exist. And for good reason - you'd have thought that they'd have gotten "bad metal" out of their system on Imaginos, but such is not the case. This CD is smothered in stupid cock rock riffs and tight leather pant macho tough guy vocals. It gets off to an enjoyable start with "See You In Black" (with interesting lyrics about wanting to ... read more