Oh Lord.
I mean, Brian Eno's classic album was always going to be one that I liked, but It's seriously AMAZING. This took everything I thought could be improved on with Taking Tiger Mountain and almost definitely improved on it. It's sprawling, messy and weird, despite it's relatively brief forty minute runtime. It starts out with some absolutely gorgeous art rock/experimental rock songs, and melts into ambient tracks, a change so smooth I don't even notice when it ... read more
I can punch the shit out of ya, I can punch the shit out of ya
Anything ya want, I can, I can get it for ya
You just did the stupidest thing ever, now I'm really gonna kill ya
I can beat, I can beat, I can beat ya up
Bruises, you got it, got it
Trauma, you got it, got it
Jail time, I don't got it, got it
M-M-My fists, you got it, got it
I can, I can kill ya, I can, I can kill ya
Rebecca Black. Wow.
That's kind of crazy to hear, isn't it? Her career got off to a devastating start back in 2011, where, under the supervision of an amateur music label, she released her first song, Friday. It was quickly called one of the worst songs to ever exist, and Rebecca Black, even though the song had propelled her to stardom, she was still hated tremendously and marked as a rich kid hack who used money to get themselves fame and respect.
There's two things wrong with that ... read more
The amount of quotables here is more than most artist’s entire careers.
Genuinely please stream this song. It’s one of the more interesting failed influencer-to-musician crossovers, plus there are multiple laugh-out-loud lines (although it may not be for the reason she intended).
I was walking through the streets of New York City when something happened that I'll never quite forget.
It was, admittedly, not a great time to be outside where I was. I don't even know where I was, for that matter. All I knew that there were a lot of shady figures shifting around, trying to sell you whatever bullshit they had. I was trying to keep my head down low, not talk to anyone, when someone shook me very forcefully from behind.
If you know anything about me, it is that I'm easily ... read more
VERY OUTDATED
After Todd In The Shadows put Anti-Hero at his number one spot on his favorite hit songs list of 2022, I figured I needed to finally collect my feelings and do a review of this album. There’s been an agonizingly saturated buzz around Taylor as of late, and part of me didn’t want to contribute to it as everything I’ve said at some point has been said by someone else. But c’mon, Taylor Swift has been one of my favorite artists for a while, and I ... read more
If this is unironic... It's awful. Everything about it sucks, and I really do think it's objectively the worst Christmas song of all time.
However, I can't take this seriously. It's so weird. Everything is poppy, but incredibly off-kilter. It sounds like it was made by some 13 year old in Garage Band instead of a member one of the most celebrated bands to ever live, and that alone is so fucking funny to me. I love this song with all my heart despite the fact that it's blatant garbage. In fact, ... read more
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Recent Review Comments
On Toasterqueen12's review of Mafuba - waiting by the phone
"Kevin Gates and Baby Keen taught me there's at least two types but beyond that I'm not sure"
On Siggerssss's review of Metro Boomin - Metro Boomin Presents: A Futuristic Summa
"Mark as low quality and move on"
On Suma's review of JPEGMAFIA - I LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR YOU
"Oh, a 20/100? Really? That’s the number you’re going with? For ILDMFLY? I just want to understand the galaxy-sized leap in logic it takes to listen to a record like this — dripping in experimentation, emotional depth, and boundary-pushing production — and say, “Yes, this is objectively bad music.” Either you’ve never listened to an album without a trap hi-hat in your life, or you’re willfully missing the point because you don’t like what JPEGMAFIA represents: innovation that refuses to bow to mainstream taste.
Let’s start with something simple: JPEGMAFIA is the GOAT. That’s not just hype, that’s reality. Who else is chopping up samples like he’s disassembling the American dream and reassembling it with duct tape and spite?"
On Quadeca - Vanisher, Horizon Scraper
"@cypre read it and see for yourself"
On verniers's review of The Dismemberment Plan - The Dismemberment Plan Is Terrified
"It does help it's also one of the best-written songs out there, lol"
On Rollo_P's review of Vince Staples - Summertime '06
"Totally agree, if this was a tight ten-track album or even mixtape it would be one of the best albums of the 2010s, and yet... the second disc exists"
On eksallages's review of Henry Cow - Unrest
"Can you stop using such big words? It's giving me a headache. Thanks."
On Calvin's review of ian - Goodbye Horses
"@ScoopTime It’s pretty rare for people to be forthcoming about criticism on here 😭 either way thanks for responding in a cognizant way! At the end of the day, you do what you want to do though, thanks for being honest and I hope I didn’t disturb anything too drastically- your review was thoughtful and extremely in-depth, I’m glad these kind of long form write-ups are still getting attention on the site"
On Calvin's review of ian - Goodbye Horses
"And please don’t take this as a specific attack on you, or as a disagreement with some points you make! But your whole argument doesn’t seem founded upon much, and that’s an issue when talking about such broad and complex issues- side note: whether or not you see a cultural issue with Ian’s music or not saying “stop supporting this waste of time people call music” ends the review on a pretty close-minded note- “I don’t find enjoyment in this” is infinitely better than “you are wrong for enjoying music like this” and even if that’s not what you meant that’s certainly how it comes across"
On Calvin's review of ian - Goodbye Horses
"wanting more variety but it seems odd to be so pissed off at what is at worst an album that is just a standard 2024 trap release. Your points about the music industry being nicer and more willing to promote white artists over black ones is understandable but it rubs me the wrong way hearing incorrect points being made, and if your goal is to make a generalized argument for systematic racism in rap than relying on misconstrued data is not the best way to go."
On Calvin's review of ian - Goodbye Horses
""I will continuously call out Ian and other artists in the same vein that continue to waste away the hope I have that good music will prevail in the Hip Hop landscape instead of the formulaic and repetitive garbage that has infested the charts for a while now." Pop music has been formulaic and engineered to be commercially successful since recorded music was a thing! I understand wanting more artistic integrity or variety on the pop charts, even within Ian's lane of Rap music, but the bottom line is that most releases of any given genre will not be ones you particularly care for, and the amount of run-of-the-mill songs that are on the charts any given time is very very high just due to them being made to sell 🤷 again I don't fault you for"
On Calvin's review of ian - Goodbye Horses
""Rap is inherently a black genre born and raised, and yet decade after decade since the music broke into the scene it has unsurprisingly always been headed by white artists." No? At least, saying "always" is a vast generalization and even saying "most of the time" or "sometimes" is too generous, imo. The vast majority of best-selling hip-hop has always been from black people, and it seems in bad faith to bend that fact in order to strengthen your argument, even if you weren’t doing it intentionally- in fact, your whole argument about Ian’s appeal partially coming from white people uncomfortable with listening to black musicians is really a small minority of listeners, kind of disproportionate to the weight you give the issue in the review"
On Suma's review of Geordie Greep - The New Sound
"I did get one positive thing out of this review, though. I now have an outline for creating a hipster music album review that would get me indie cred. Hmm... it might be fun to follow through on that outline."
On Suma's review of Geordie Greep - The New Sound
"@blockoumi3 my comment was completely in jest fyi"
On Suma's review of Geordie Greep - The New Sound
"So true. When will this site realize the music they like is hipster and never makes any impact in the real world? AOTY is swamped with pretentiousness these days. Love the review."
On Lord0fDiamonds's review of Godspeed You! Black Emperor - Lift Yr. Skinny Fists Like Antennas to Heaven!
"This is one of the most massively misguided reviews I've ever seen, good work"
On MickyT's review of The Velvet Underground - White Light/White Heat
""I find the production to be way too muddy majority of the time and I feel like this thing could've turned out so much better." Most of the band agrees with you lmao"
On CT_Devourer's review of The Velvet Underground - Loaded
"Id argue otherwise but Reed was definitely influenced by him- an early version of I’m Waiting For The Man is basically a Bob Dylan pastiche"
On Johnny Cash - At Folsom Prison
"@Andrei Intimidation tactic"
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