Yeah, I don't think I'll ever get Polyphia. I feel like these guys should be well up my alley - I usually ADORE guitar wank music. I usually ADORE any sort of instrumental wankery music. You got the talent and want to show it off? Hell yeah I'm gonna be interested in finding a new artist to be jealous of! But time and again, Polyphia completely fail to actually make an all-round interesting song.

When the song isn't a bland prog rock-infused dubstep song, it's sounding like Tim Henson ... read more

Mid band makes painfully mid album to high praise and shock when others don't like listening to 37 minutes of directionless mediocrity and rehashing the same idea over 10 tracks.

Notfinishingsonotrating/10

As expected, the soundtrack for House of the Dragon is just as good as any of the soundtracks for Game of Thrones, meaning it's great. -5 points, however, because I'm really disappointed that the main title theme is literally just Game of Thrones' theme. I get that Game of Thrones' main theme is so iconic that it'd be impossible to replace, but come the fuck on, dude, at least TRY to give House of the Dragon its own identity outside of "Game of Thrones spin-off". Imagine if Better ... read more

OK boys, this is it. I'm finally taking the dive into Merzbow's Merzbox. 50 CDs showing the history of Masami Akita's progress, from his earliest works in 1979 and 1980, all the way through to the late '90s when he was already releasing all those classics you're most likely aware of if you're reading this review. All 50 discs being some of the most obscure in his discography, some being previously unreleased.

Why am I doing this? Don't even ask, because I haven't got a good explanation for ... read more

Parade, Mediational Field, A Drop Filled With Memories, The Girl in Bykkoya - some of the greatest songs I've ever heard on a soundtrack. They've all become JSGcore classics, in constant rotation. This goes waaaaay too hard for a goddamn movie soundtrack, and has easily become one of the greatest soundtrack albums I've ever heard. I don't usually rate soundtracks, because, well, how would you go about that? Basing it off of how it fits in the movie, or the predictable emptiness that comes with ... read more

I never thought I'd see a new low from Slipknot after The Gray Chapter, and especially after We Are Not Your Kind proved to be a solid return to form, but here we are.

It looks like what happened here is that Corey decided to emulate that butt rock he brought to his debut solo album a few years back into Slipknot's sound. What you get is a ton of Nickelback-esque metal, full of the most bland riffs, downright hideous songwriting, and ultimately boring listening experiences you could ever get ... read more

Y'see, this is what happens when you aren't taught what laws there are

Y'know, if every letter of the alphabet was replaced with 'z', then 'I Love You Jennifer B' would finally be an accurate album title.

RIP Bozo

Not you, Morrissey, we're still waiting on you

As time goes on, my tolerance for pure mediocrity gets lesser and lesser.

There was a time where I would have slapped this with a 50 and said "Oh, come on now! This isn't THAT bad!" And yeah, I would be right. This isn't "that" bad. And that right there is the problem. If this was a legitimately terrible album, it would at least be interesting. It would be the kind of album you would listen to, fascinated, wanting to listen again and again to really understand what went ... read more

black midi could never.

Oxbow's The Narcotic Story - the ultimate filter. Y'all think you like experimental or technical music because you listened to Hellfire one time? Yeah, no shit you don't like Oxbow, you weren't ready for REAL music yet.

Ok, now that I've had my pretentious quote of the day, I'll be real with y'all; this album is great. Actually, it's amazing. Actually, it's outstanding. This is the kind of album that ticks all the right boxes on my imaginary checklist that I just made ... read more

black midi? More like: black shitty (cue laugh track).

If there's one thing that's important in music, it's innovation. Many of the greats in music have been known for their musical innovation. The likes of The Beatles in the early and late '60s, Led Zeppelin, the Eagles, Pink Floyd, and more recently, Imagine Dragons, Nickelback, Yard Act, these are all bands known for their innovation. Really pushing boundaries and making music interesting. So what exactly does black midi bring to the table? ... read more

I'm getting Atrocity Exhibition vibes.

I remember when Damn came out and it was heralded as the next big moment in hip hop, and potentially in music history. Many people even arguing that it was Kendrick at his peak. Some years later, that sentiment is seen as laughable, as most people have fell in with the melon's opinion that it's a good album, but far from the greatness that Kendrick has consistently put out before. Fast forward five years, and we get his follow-up, Mr. Morale & The Big ... read more

RARE SINGLE REVIEW ON MAIN! RARE SINGLE REVIEW ON MAIN!

IT'S NOT A PHASE, MOM!

Well, today has certainly been a day. New Kendrick double album, new Radiohead side project, various other releases that I should probably check out, One Piece is crazy good this week, and to top it off, MCR RELEASE A NEW SONG, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!
And you know me. I'm the guy who's been using the Black Parade's Pepe as my profile picture for over three goddamn years already, so of course I'm gonna need ... read more

Starless And Bible Black ultimately stands as a good moment that lacks a lot of the punch that can be found elsewhere within their discography.

Is it down to poor timing? Maybe. Any album that relies so heavily on experimenting is going to struggle when paired with two albums of pure rock perfection as Larks' Tongues and Red. And within their classic output in general, Starless And Bible Black certainly had to make its impact heard in order stand alongside the likes of Court. I mean, hell, ... read more

Dark Funeral return to release their brand new record, We Are The Apocalypse, proving once again that nobody can do Dark Funeral as well as Dark Funeral and a hundred other black metal bands like them can.

Dark Funeral are very much like the AC/DC or Korn of black metal; they know their sound. They know it well. The understand their genre well. They understand well what the fans of said genre are looking for. So why deviate from the norm? They can just make the same low-effort redundant stuff ... read more

Without a doubt one of the most embarrassing moments to come out of the whole '80s hair metal scene. Discharge, the underground, politically-driven, forward-thinking, anti-authoritarian, hardcore anarcho-punk band so extreme that they would go on to directly influence the likes of Metallica and Slayer and still manage to stick out as arguably even heavier and more extreme than either of them, would ditch all that they had built up, most likely just for a quick buck. The funny, or sad, thing ... read more

Some damn good indie rock if you ask me.

Y'know, for a double album, there's surprisingly very little filler here. Maybe one or two tracks in the latter half that aren't as memorable as the rest, sure, but that's to be expected with a 30+ track double album. Instead, we get 30+ tracks of great rock music, with some brilliant musicianship, great melodies, and a few moments that stand out in the band's discography as perhaps some of their best material yet. Especially the first disc and some ... read more

Man, I remember when I found this album about half a year ago and it had less than 10k views on YT. Now all these Mr. Incredible memes and the YouTube algorithm has made my obscure, unhinged, noisy, trve kvlt black ambient album too mainstream. All we need now is for TikTok users to start twerking to Dead Before Death and we can say that Emit is a true normie band.

In all seriousness though, I've always felt like this EP tries too hard to be edgy. It's like Abruptum but taken to such an ... read more

Man, I used to sleep on Larks' Tongues too much. This is seriously, without a doubt, one of King Crimson's greatest achievements.

I guess with an introduction like that I should explain my history with this album. And, well, I can't deny, I've always loved this album - after all, it holds the first two parts of the epic title track and Easy Money, all of which are some of the finest songs Crimson ever recorded. But it's no secret to anyone that the early '70s were a struggle for the band. Wake ... read more