Does anyone know how I get rid of the eyes in the back of my brain and on my palms? I can't grab things without risking stabbing myself in the eye, and it's a bit inconvenient.

[Lateralus] is the galaxy brained masterpiece from LA prog metal band TOOL. After an inspiring but relatively unremarkable project in [Undertow], which swings high with memorable well-constructed bangers like {Prison Sex}, {Sober} and {Bottom} but also misses the mark with boring material at the back half of the album ... read more

This is an unexpected development.

I'll be honest here - I've never been the biggest fan of Travis Scott. His music has always been extremely hit or miss for me, with releases that have ranged from masterpieces in the field of trap to extremely annoying and irritating to listen to - and in the wake of the Astroworld disaster, I was even rooting against him to some extent - but the artistry speaks for itself, and it doesn't lie. [UTOPIA] is truly the trap album we've been waiting for.

It's all ... read more

'Bino Binge (6/6) - The End (so far)

[3.15.20] is good, but it could've been better. I hate to introduce it in such an abrupt manner, but high standards are a bitch and well, if ["Awaken, My Love!"] and [Because the Internet] aren't an indication that Glover has greatness in him then I don't know what I'm talking about. Don't get me wrong, it's still a perfectly nice album. It's just that at its worst, it's... boring. And boring is the absolute worst thing Gambino can be.

While this ... read more

'Bino Binge (5/6) - Departure

Yeah, this is the one.

["Awaken, My Love!"] is a modern classic that gets better on every re-listen, and history will absolutely vindicate my words. Donald Glover's turn from cheesy yet charming rap to making one of the most important soul projects of the past 20 years is incomprehensible yet true, but for people that'd been paying attention to him this might've been a long time coming. His rapping is good, but singing is his true calling. On this ... read more

Our Slowest Dive (3/5) - ligmalion

[Pygmalion] is a strange album. Going from [Just for a Day] to [Souvlaki] feels like a natural evolution for the band's sound; this, on the other hand, is a deconstruction of sorts? A reckoning with their newfound Eno-influenced identity? A sonic detour? Because when you're familiar with Slowdive's early days and the direction they would later choose to follow, this feels like a uniquely self-referential project, with not many comparisons to be made across ... read more

BLEEEEGHHH-HHH-H-H-H-H

With the band announcing the next installment of the POST HUMAN project, this is a great opportunity to return and look back on a metalcore staple. [SURVIVAL HORROR] is a product of the 2020 pandemic lockdowns and to some extent, a concept album about our collective suffering during one of the most important moments in recent human history. It's also one of the two best Bring Me The Horizon projects, in case you're wondering.

After many years of the band searching for ... read more

Denzel's Curry (2/2) - Samurais and Molten Souls (side dish: Eyes)

Well, with Zel announcing that he's dropping new material this year (this month, even) I figured that this is a good a time as any to look back on his other standout project. [Melt My Eyez See Your Future] is no [TA13OO], but it doesn't need to be; his aggressive and unrelenting delivery is on standby, traded for a much more thoughtful and self-reflective approach. We go deeper, but deeper doesn't mean darker.

[Melt My Eyez] ... read more

Our Slowest Dive (2/5) - I'm Greek so I Must Love [Souvlaki]

Is there anything I can really add to the conversation when it comes to [Souvlaki]? The story is known; wonderful album, got shafted by critics upon release because of general mistreatment of shoegaze, eventually was recognized for being one of the most rewarding listens in the genre. And it is! The sound here feels as though you're floating off into the vast unknown while high on drugs, with no sense of direction but only a vague ... read more

holy tracklist bloat, batman

[Pink Tape] was really not what I expected. Between the intense experimentation, the grandiosity, the SOAD cover (I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A SAMPLE WHY IS IT A COVER) and the perplexing multiple instances of Lil Uzi gargling and choking on his grimace shake, this should really not be as decent as it ended up being. Someone should definitely coach them on how to lay out their songs, because they do NOT seem interested in cohesion.

Anyway, despite this album being ... read more

'Bino Binge (4/6) - Internet Brainrot?

- warning for mention of unsavory online communities

[Because the Internet] is a special release, because it's the first truly good Childish Gambino project. Yes, there's the screenplay schtick, yes, the lyricism is still corny, yes, it's a bit incoherent - but I feel like people really miss the forest for the trees here. It might be the case that the narrative behind this album is an elaborate trolling masterclass (or disasterclass) by Glover, but even ... read more

Denzel's Curry (1/2) - Bleakness and Revenge (side dish: Synths)

I don't think there's any hip hop artist I'd trust more to deliver on a project so devoid of mercy than our very own Denzel Curry. [TA13OO], which I pronounced "Tattoo" for around two years after I first heard it because I'm a moron, is the inverse of his last album [Imperium] which runs the emotional distance from resignation to a faint hope for tomorrow. This, on the other hand, portrays a kind of insidious descent - ... read more

Our Slowest Dive (1/5) - 32 year-long day

The problem with being a genre titan is that people are, to some extent, very susceptible to retrospective bias when it comes to your older works. That's not to say that [Just for a Day], the debut album by British shoegaze legends Slowdive, isn't a great and supremely enjoyable release. There's simply this intense feeling of something missing from the album that's more prescient here than their most popular, record-shattering LP that they'd go on to ... read more

'Bino Binge (3/6) - And we'll never be [Royalty]

It's a crime that this isn't on streaming services, because this is a much, much better starting point for someone getting into Gambino's music than both [Camp] and [EP] even if it does suffer from some glaring flaws. Much less heavy on the punchlines and more focused on wholistic rap performances, solid verses, strange samples - most notoriously Kavinsky's {Nightcall} in {R.I.P.} and Britney Spears' {Toxic} in, well, {Toxic}, this is a rap ... read more

'Bino Binge (2/6) - ... a.k.a. Euphonic Platitudes (alright; gambino is a mastermind)

[EP] is a short 20 minute release that technically precedes [Camp], but I'd argue is essential to understanding the artist that would evolve from the ashes of Glover's rap efforts. Clocking in at 20 minutes, it was meant to be a prelude to the grander project but ends up presenting a more accurate image of his talents - the singing on the chorus of {Be Alone}, {Lights Turned On} and {My Shine} shows a unique ... read more

'Bino Binge (1/6) - Bonfire of Subtlety

Donald Glover is a very interesting artist. Having grown up around mostly folk and rock music, I used to be very dismissive or even downright disrespectful of hip-hop but this man, along with assorted acts such as Kanye, Tyler and Eminem did the impossible and got stuck-up risch kid (haha) into vibing to smoothly produced tunes, appreciating smart wordplay and analyzing complex (if corny) verses. While [Camp] is far from Gambino's first venture into ... read more

Maruja, a 4-piece up and coming prospect band from the UK, look to add themselves to the endless list of British musicians that I love with their surprisingly solid first EP, [Knocknarea]. The best descriptor for this release, which I hope is only a taste of what they have in store for us in the future, is that it's familiar and unsettling; ambient and loud; aggressively comforting and soothingly disturbing. The songs are similar in structure and instrumentation, which makes it all the more ... read more

Catching Beatles (5/5) - The Long Road Home

How surprised are you? It's, uh, [Abbey Road]. It's fitting that this album is perfect, for it is the inverse of [The Beatles]; where the self-titled LP is disjointed, jumbled and masterful in its chaotic nature, [Abbey Road] is measured, precise and orderly. It's the band going out on top, on the verge of breaking up yet still writing songs that leave their contemporaries and artists way into the future in the dust. It's also the greatest showcase ... read more

Rata Muerta

I'm not going to actually grace this with a proper review because I didn't sit through the entire thing (how could I?), but this is yet another creatively bankrupt project from a man that should've been filtered out of the music scene a long time ago. Hopefully this is the first step of his enduring and final fall into obscurity

Review-Mini #7

... this is prog Gloryhammer.

[PetroDragonic Apocalypse], of which title I refuse to type the rest, is the n+xth album from alternate reality band Bling Blizzard and the Haphazard Buzzard. These guys come out with a new album every three days or so, and it's not hard to get lost among their sprawling discography. This project marks their glorious return to metal, and of all things they choose to give us a modern story of, as I understand it, a small lizard transforming into a ... read more

Some artists and bands immortalize themselves through one or two amazing or just exceptionally solid albums. They come out with something of a masterpiece and either never make music again a la Jeff Buckley (R.I.P.) or the rest of their catalog just mostly pales in comparison - like Weezer. QOTSA, on the other hand, will be remembered for how monumentally strong they've stayed throughout 20 years of a career runtime.

It's strange to think that eight entries into their catalog, Josh Homme and ... read more